From the Pork Barrel: Attention Must Be Paid!

* It's been at least 45 minutes! Why is nobody paying attention to Sarah Palin?!?!

* Barack and Michelle Obama save $100 million via Bush Tax Cuts, despite fact that they're not right kind of millionaires.

* Majority of country now trying to destroy sanctity of marriage.

* Republican voters unhappy with depressing choice of ridiculous candidates for some reason.

* Alan Keyes warns God coming to destroying America any time now… any time now… Very soon! What time do you have? I think my watch might be fast.

Tags: Alan Keyes, Barack Obama, David Barton, Internet, Marriage Equality, Michelle Obama, Money, Net Neutrality, Polls, Pork Barrel, Primaries, Religion, Republicans, Sarah Palin, Taxes, Tea Party

Teabaggers Now Opposed to Net Neutrality Because Why Not?

Seriously, these guys…

Tea Party groups are staking out an anti-regulatory position in the fight over net neutrality rules for phone and cable companies.

A coalition that included 35 Tea Party groups sent a letter to the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) on Wednesday urging the agency not to boost its authority over broadband providers through a controversial process known as reclassification.

This makes perfect sense. Perfect! The only thing I can't understand is why they're not protesting that the seat cushions in telecom CEO's private planes aren't heated? And will nobody will stand up for bigger portions of foie gras? Is this even America?

Tags: Corporations, Internet, Net Neutrality, Tea Party

Jon Stewart on McCain's Anti-Net-Neutrality Bill

Try as I might, I never quite understood the net neutrality debate. All I knew was nerds cared very deeply about it, so I assumed it had something to do with Cheeto taxes or Real Doll tariffs. But on last night's Daily Show, Jon Stewart broke it down into simple terms even a touched halfwit like me can understand.

In case you're wondering, yes, this exists. As does this. But not this.

The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11pm / 10c.

Tags: Google, Internet, Joe Wilson, John McCain, Jon Stewart, Net Neutrality, The Daily Show, Video

John McCain's "Internet Freedom Act" Strikes Heroic Blow for Freedom from the Internet

Good news for everyone who is an executive for a powerful telecommunications corporation!

John McCain is fighting for your freedom to impose your will upon the masses! Go, America!

McCain's bill, the Internet Freedom Act, would block the Federal Communications Commission from making Net neutrality the law of the land. The rule preventing ISPs from slowing down certain types of content would create "onerous federal regulation," McCain argued in a written statement.

According to a report at NetworkWorld, McCain "called the proposed Net neutrality rules a 'government takeover' of the Internet that will stifle innovation and depress an 'already anemic' job market in the US."

But supporters of Net neutrality argue that the rule is needed to ensure that Internet providers don't censor content, or slow down traffic to Web sites that are in competition with their business allies.

Come on now? Who are you going to believe on this? Some person who knows how to use a computer? Or John McCain?

Tags: FCC, Internet, John McCain, Net Neutrality, Science & Technology

FCC Chairman Just Wants to Rock Out With His Telecom Policy Out

Do you use the internet? No? Stop using your psychic powers to infiltrate my brain, creep! But if you do "surf the tubes," you may be aware of net neutrality, which is the novel idea that telecom companies shouldn't be allowed to discriminate among different types of online content, so silly blogs like this can travel at the same speed as, say, a silly blog that paid the telecom company big $$ for favors.

Now, much to the consternation of folks like John McCain, Julius Genachowski is chairman of the FCC, and he's talking up net neutrality before a big vote later this month. Here, let's let him explain in his own actual words why this issue is so important…

"Everywhere from the Streets of Philadelphia to My Hometown in New York, every Bobby Jean and every Jersey Girl should be counting on the Internet remaining free and open, not Counting on a Miracle. They should count on The Rising of millions of voices to beat back any Darkness on the Edge of Town, or broadband Badlands that could threaten limited choice and create potential bottlenecks.

"The people who built the Internet were working on more than a computer network, they were Working on a Dream. It was a network that was Born to Run in a land of open protocols, (the Promised Land). The Internet is more than an information highway, it is a telecom Thunder Road of wonderfully chaotic creativity and it will be a Lonesome Day if that is ever lost. But, hold on, Janey, Don't You Lose Heart, because the FCC will be taking up open Internet rules in the near future."

Ah, so that's why Julius Genachowski is fighting for net neutrality.

He's afraid the telecoms will slow down his ILuvTheBoss fan page, and really, that's the only thing that keeps him going these days.

Tags: Bruce Springsteen, FCC, Internet, Music, Net Neutrality, Science & Technology