Quote Unquote: Sarah Palin and the Unrivaled Dutch Water-Dealing-With Expertise

Partial-term Governor Sarah Palin on what the President isn't doing to clean up the underwater oil leak…

"The Dutch and the Norwegians, they are known for dikes and for cleaning up water and for dealing with spills. They offered to help, and yet no, they too — with the proverbial can't even get a phone call back."

I'm sure that all the Dutch people, working together, could stick their fingers in the hole and plug it up no problem. Why is President Obama not acting on the information? And is he even talking to the Norwegian authorities in their capitol city of Valhalla? I guess he really just doesn't care.

Orly Taitz Is Still the Hardest Working Person in Crazy Business

On this week's episode of Everything's Comin' Up Orly!, everybody's favorite wacky Moldavian-born lawyer/dentist Orly Taitz continues on her zany quest to bring down the U.S. President. But, will her ingenious plan to prosecute Kenyan spy Barack Obama for war crimes against Afghanistan by the International Criminal Court in the Netherlands — where she she is licensed to practice law — go off without a hitch? Or will she end up back in the ditch after receiving a surprise visit from her long lost Dutch twin sister who's studying to become a Las Vegas illusionist? Hilarity is sure to ensue.

Then, stay tuned for a very special episode of It's Always Racist in Arizona.

Why Don't Bill O'Reilly and Amsterdam Just Get a Room Already?!

Oh Em Gee! These two! Who do they think they're fooling, huh? You just know that if this were a Nora Ephron movie, Bill O'Reilly would be waking up hungover with the city of Amsterdam in his bed in, like, three… two…

(via BuzzFeed)

A Message to Bill O'Reilly From "The Cesspool of Corruption" Known as Amsterdam

I guess I missed this the first time around, but apparently Bill O'Reilly did a whole segment back in December about how evil and disgusting Amsterdam is because of its liberal policies toward drugs and prostitution and personal liberties and not being unctuously hypocritical faux-prudes…

"Amsterdam is a cesspool of corruption. Everything is out of control, it's anarchy", a sidekick of Fox News conservative anchor Bill O'Reilly said during a broadcast in December 2008.

The O'Reilly Factor wanted to prove the point that the liberal drug policy of the Netherlands had backfired, since the Dutch government was planning to tighten the rules governing soft drugs use. "The Netherlands are becoming more conservative", said O'Reilly.

Anarchy! Total anarchy! There's fuckin' tulips and wooden shoes and hacked-off ears flying all over the place in that city, I'm tellin' ya!

Anyway, some hashished-up denizen of that lowly metropolis managed to un-entangle his or herself from the orgy pile long enough to issue this belated (c'mon, it's Holland time) response…

Sorry, I guess I should have added a NSFW warning before making you watch that.