Tweet Roundup: NOLA Loses the Super Bulb

They ruled out terrorism as the cause of the Super Bowl Blackout? Good! I would hate to think the terrorists figured out light switches!

— Rock (@TheMichaelRock) February 4, 2013

Eating Super Bowl leftovers for lunch. I shut myself up in a dark closet so it'd feel authentic.

— SlowDownBelle (@SlowDownBelle) February 4, 2013

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Tags: Amish, Football, Guns, New Orleans, Sports, Super Bowl, Tweet Roundup, Twitter

New Old News: The Blame Game

Good news, everybody! The "top kill" effort to plug the oil spill in the gulf appears to be working.

Finally, we can focus on what really matters in the wake of this disaster: deciding who the f**k is to blame.

The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11pm / 10c.

Tags: Energy & Oil, Hurricane Katrina, Jon Stewart, Louisiana, New Old News, New Orleans, The Daily Show

The Daily Show: Someone Is Trying to Kill New Orleans

I wish they'd stop comparing the size of the Gulf Coast oil spill to different US territories. First it was the size of Rhode Island, then Delaware, then New Jersey, then Puerto Rico. But I went to public school, so I don't know what any of that means. Puerto Rico is bigger than New Jersey? News to me. Also, what's a Delaware? Can't we get a more useful metric? Like if you told me the spill has grown from 1000 Costcos to 80 Disney Worlds then I'd know exactly what you mean.

For more coverage of the Gulf Coast oil spill, check out Stephen Colbert's take at CC Insider.

The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11pm / 10c.

Tags: Barack Obama, BP, Energy & Oil, Environment, Fox, Gulf Coast, Jon Stewart, Mary Landrieu, New Orleans, Rachel Maddow, Sarah Palin, The Daily Show, Wyatt Cenac

Census Director Reveals Sinister Plot Against New Orleans

Quick, somebody call Saint Michele Bachmann, Our Lady of No Census, because something smells real fishy down in New Orleans. And I ain't talkin' about gumbo…

U.S. Census Bureau Director Robert Groves said his agency is taking unprecedented and costly measures to ensure an accurate count of southeast Louisiana communities in next year's national headcount.

Census forms will be hand-delivered to every household in Orleans, St. Bernard and Plaquemines parishes, and in selected sections of Jefferson, St. Tammany, St. John the Baptist and St. Charles parishes, to ensure that the decennial population tally doesn't miss anyone.

Hand-delivering census forms?! How Big Brotherish is that? It's downright Orwellian. Kafkaesque, if you will. Shakesperean, in the sense of what a tragedy it is that Americans cannot live in freedom without being counted.

Worst of all, it looks like New Orleans officials are in cahoots with the Census Bureau/ACORN…

Mayor Ray Nagin [reiterated] his call for Hurricane Katrina victims still living elsewhere who want to return to the city to record New Orleans as their home during next spring's decennial count.

Insanity. These poor people have suffered enough!

This is so typical of those shady operatives at the Census Bureau, always targeting America's most vulnerable citizens for torture by numbers.

Tags: ACORN, Census, Conspiracies, Michele Bachmann, New Orleans

Brad Pitt's Mayoral Chances Aren't Great in New Orleans, Says Brad Pitt

It seems that actor Brad Pitt doesn't think that he has a really good chance at being elected as the mayor of New Orleans…

"I'm running on the gay marriage, no religion, legalization and taxation of marijuana platform," he joked… "I don't have a chance," Pitt predicted.

Wait, what? Seriously, what? Was this even in the realm of possible things that could happen? Hasn't that city suffered enough indignations these past few years? (And I'm not even just talking about the whole Anne Rice association thing.)

Apparently, those people are real gluttons for punishment… extra spicy Cajun-style punishment…

The Brad Pitt for Mayor Campaign is picking up steam. WDSU NewsChannel 6 has learned there's a movement in the Crescent City trying to get the actor elected…

"Totally cute, I'm really excited about my Brad Pitt for Mayor T-shirt," said [some idiot who's not even from New Orleans]…

What started off as a crazy idea, is getting crazy response, especially now. "Brad Pitt is someone who's really done a lot for the City of New Orleans and the more people are talking about it. It sounds less and less crazy, especially with Gov. Schwarzenegger and Al Franken about to be sworn in as the U.S. Senator from Minnesota," said [t-shirt seller Josh] Harvey.

I think this guy is confusing "less and less crazy" with "everything else is getting more and more stupid."

In his defense, it's a common mistake.

Tags: Al Franken, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Brad Pitt, Louisiana, New Orleans