This year's election has really highlighted how much voting demographics have changed. Historically, naked cowboys tend to vote liberal, particularly in the West Hollywood area. But this year, naked cowboys seems to be hanging more to the right…
Robert Burck, aka the guy who sings and prances around in his underwear in New York City’s Times Square, is throwing his support behind the former Massachusetts governor.
"I believe in a small, decentralized, fiscally responsible federal government," he told New York’s CBS affiliate. "I believe in an economy with free market principals, and I believe in the strongest national defense on Earth. And those are the antithesis of all the things Obama is doing."
Burck claims being conservative has always been in his nature. You'd think someone who believes in having a strong defense would do more to protect his "little soldier" than walk around in tighty whities.
While Romney has yet to respond to the naked cowboy's statements, my guess is he prefers Meat Loaf to beefcake.
Photo by Paul Zimmerman/Getty Images News/Getty Images
Tags: Conservatives, Mitt Romney, New York City, Republicans
Who elected Michael Bloomberg Mayor of What We Put Inside Our Bodies? Nobody. That's who. If you're not free to mainline sugar water then what good is freedom? If democracy means you have to play hide-and-seek with fake teat milk, then democracy can suck it! And now the good people of NYC can't even stand in line to get a free Trojan vibrator! What's next?! I'll tell you what. Communism.
This is just what Marx predicted. An end to the free market…
City officials pulled the plug on a vibrator giveaway by the Trojan condom company yesterday, disappointing potentially thousands of pleasure-seeking women who hoped to get their hands on some no-cost sex toys.
"I’m 57 years old. I should be able to get a vibrator!" declared Linda Postell, who was among hundreds of women (and men!) waiting in the heat on Pearl Street only to be left unsatisfied. "I have a problem with the smoking ban, and the soda ban — and now this!"
What kind of monster would deny a 57-year-old woman a vibrator? For shame! This is just another example of the nanny state trying to hold us down and spank us on the behind because we've been very, very bad and need to be punished. Bloomberg better be careful or else roving gangs of sexually frustrated women are going to fill his streets even more than they already do.
What's that? Oh. It was just a permit issue. The vibrator giveaway is back on. Ladies and gentlemen, start your engines. And God bless Mayor Bloomberg.
Photo by Rubenstein/Wikimedia Commons
Tags: Michael Bloomberg, New York City, Sex
First they came for our table salt, and I didn't speak out because I'm really more of a pepper guy.
Then they came for our novelty-sized soft drinks, and I didn't speak out because I've been trying to limit myself to seltzer water, or maybe iced tea once in a while, because, to be honest, I've been getting a little round around the middle if you know what I mean.
Then they came for our baby formula, and I didn't speak out because– Wait a second. Baby formula? That's not for real, is it?
Mayor Bloomberg is pushing hospitals to hide their baby formula behind locked doors so more new mothers will breast-feed…
Under Latch On NYC, new mothers who want formula won’t be denied it, but hospitals will keep infant formula in out-of-the-way secure storerooms or in locked boxes like those used to dispense and track medications.
With each bottle a mother requests and receives, she'll also get a talking-to. Staffers will explain why she should offer the breast instead.
I've been wrong in my predictions before, but I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that this is going to go over incredibly well.
I've had the good fortune of meeting a few new mothers in my time, and if there's one way I would describe all of them, it would be as immensely open to lectures from complete strangers on how best to care for their children. New mothers love talking-tos! They love 'em! They'll take any advice they can get from absolutely anyone.
So, if you see a new mother on the street, just walk up to her and start telling her how wrong she is in how she's raising for her baby. She'll thank you. Take my word for it.
Photo by Spencer Platt/Getty Images News/Getty Images
Tags: Babies, Men and Women, Michael Bloomberg, New York City, Women's Rights
Like a proud parent witnessing his child's first steps, it's been a pleasure to see liberals grow to embrace the wonders of government-backed retaliation against political views they oppose.
You might remember the Ground Zero Mosque debate, the controversy surrounding a proposed community center that in the great American tradition of Joe the Plumber was neither a mosque nor at Ground Zero. Newt Gingrich suggested that we adopt the Saudi Arabia standard of religious tolerance ("There should be no mosque near Ground Zero in New York so long as there are no churches or synagogues in Saudi Arabia,") and use zoning laws to create a mosque restriction zone in lower Manhattan. A conservative candidate for governor of New York, Carl Paladino, suggested the government use eminent domain to prevent construction of the community center.
Liberals were rightly outraged, not just at the right-wing desire to limit buildings for Muslims to Guantanamo Bay, but because of the constitutional principles at stake. Whatever the merits of the mosque, the Free Speech Clause of the 1st Amendment means the government generally may not discriminate against an entity because of what it says or teaches.
Now witness the celebratory lefty reaction to Boston mayor Thomas Menino's take on Chick-fil-A, the fast food chain bent on protecting us from the threat of homosexual chicken marriage, or something.
Tags: Boston, Chicago, Chick-fil-A, Islam, LGBT, Liberals, Marriage Equality, New York City, Religion