From the Pork Barrel: Romney Is the Mitt

* The Republican frontrunner is finally the Republican frontrunner.

* Mitt Romney has taken a bold stance against Big Bird.

* Americans hate socialists, are lukewarm toward liberals and love progressives. I wonder how they feel about America-hating flag-burning drug-crazed hippies.

* The New York Times: Dangerously low levels of "schmoozing" detected in White House.

* Iowa pastors fear Christian voters will be faced with a veritable Sophie's Choice between Michele Bachmann.

Photo by Richard Ellis/Getty Images News/Getty Images

Tags: Barack Obama, Christianity, Iowa, Iowa Caucus, Liberals, Michele Bachmann, Mitt Romney, New York Times, PBS, Polls, Pork Barrel, Religion, Rick Santorum, Socialism

Mitt Romney Accuses Newt Gingrich of Being America's "Zany" Next Door Neighbor

We all know the sitcom trope of the wacky next door neighbor. A much less acknowledged sitcom trope is the boring straight man or woman. These characters are often confronted with fairly tame propositions — such as staying out past 10 pm on a weeknight — which they view as wacky and wild.

Perhaps not surprisingly, the New York Times and Mitt Romney — both the metaphorical sitcom straight men that they are — recently referred to Newt Gingrich as "zany" in a video interview…

New York Times: Is there some worry that as President should he win that there might be some zany things coming from the Oval Office?

Mitt Romney: Zany is not what we need in a president. Zany is great in a campaign. It’s great on talk radio. It’s great in print, it makes for fun reading. But in terms of a president, we need a leader, and a leader needs to be someone who can bring Americans together.

Sure, Newt Gingrich has the scientific understanding of a child from the 50's, but he's nothing compared to the other candidates. At least he believes that science is a thing that exists.

The sad truth is that both Mitt Romney and Newt Gingrich are the relatively-boring Ross Gellers of the primary race. And I miss the days when the Kramers and Reverend Jims and Urkels and of the Republican party were the frontrunners.

Hell, at this point, I'd even go for a Potsie.

Photo by Matthew Cavanaugh/Getty Images News/Getty Images

Tags: Mitt Romney, New York Times, Newt Gingrich

From the Pork Barrel: Numbers Game

* Nate Silver and the New York Times have a super fun online toy you can play with to find out how bad Obama is going to lose next year. Totally bad or totally mega extreme bad?! You find out!

* A kindly gentleman from the Tea Party was so kind recently as to inform Massachusetts senate candidate that she is "a socialist whore" before bidding her a hasty adieu.

* The U.S. Senate has, once again, succeeded specularly well at failing miserably.

* Does anybody know who does the taxes for these 30 corporations worth hundreds of billions of dollars? Do you think he's taking on any new clients?

Tags: Barack Obama, Corporations, Elizabeth Warren, Herman Cain, Jon Huntsman, Massachusetts, Michele Bachmann, Mitt Romney, Nate Silver, New York Times, Pork Barrel, Primaries, Republicans, Rick Perry, Senate, Taxes, Tea Party

From the Pork Barrel: Joe Biden Attacked by Joe Biden

* Remember: All our economic woes fall squarely on the backs of Barack Obama and Joe Biden, says Joe Biden.

* Democratic voters not super psyched to go to the polls for some strange reason.

* House Republicans unveil plan to create jobs, along with list of people who will lose their jobs.

* New York Times' uses emoticon in headline, making me feel very unhappy face.

Photo by Mark Wilson/Getty Images News/Getty Images

Tags: Democrats, Economy, House of Representatives, Joe Biden, New York Times, Polls, Pork Barrel, Republicans, Unemployment

Paul Krugman Explains to Stephen Colbert How the Government Can Create Jobs

How can the government create jobs? Obviously, jobs are good. And, even more obviously, the government can't do any good. So, you know, you do the math…

The Colbert Report airs Monday through Thursday at 11:30/10:30c.

Tags: Economy, New York Times, Paul Krugman, Stephen Colbert, The Colbert Report, Unemployment, Video