As reported today by the Huffington Post — and possibly Mad Libs — a conservative Alabama gubernatorial candidate was caught donating sperm to lesbians in New Zealand…
Bill Johnson — who ran for governor of Alabama in 2009 — has spent most of this year in Christchurch helping run the earthquake recovery without his wife, Kathy, all the while using the online persona "chchbill" to meet women who want help to get pregnant.
Helping a childless family conceive is usually an act of kindness and generosity, but this guy managed to make it incredibly selfish and creepy. Despite campaigning as a family-values conservative firmly opposed to gay marriage, Johnson went behind his barren wife’s back to spread his seed to heathen lesbian couples…
The [New Zealand Herald] quotes the 53-year-old Johnson as saying the urge to become a biological father inspired him to donate sperm, after revealing that his wife couldn't get pregnant following a hysterectomy…
Johnson discussed making donations to at least nine women, and three are now pregnant, while he has also assisted a further three with donations in the past month. Though Johnson had campaigned for governor on a conservative Christian platform which opposed same-sex marriage, the New Zealand Herald reports several of the women interviewed were in lesbian relationships.
In related Mad Libs news…
Pro-Life Idaho Senator Dances with Child Dressed Up as Peruvian Birth Control Pill
Virginia Environmentalist Stabs Endangered African Rhino with Alan Alda Figurine
Newt Gingrich Emerges as Republican Presidential Front-Runner
Photo of Bill and Kathy Johnson courtesy of BillJohnson.org
Tags: Alabama, Conservatives, LGBT, Marriage Equality, New Zealand, Republicans
You ever have one of those weeks where it seems no matter how many blood sacrifices you make to your tribal deity, things don't get any easier? This is totally one of those weeks!
Coverage continues with Rick Perry's patriotic non-political America prayers after the jump.
The Colbert Report airs Monday through Thursday at 11:30pm / 10:30c.
Tags: Belgium, Bill of Rights, Christianity, Colbert Super PAC, Constitution, Debt, Dow Jones, Economy, Iowa, Iowa Straw Poll, Money, New Zealand, Primaries, Religion, Republicans, Rick Perry, Standard & Poor's, Texas, Wall Street
Ever wonder why that Welsh guy on your Ultimate Frisbee team always gets pissed (annoyed, not drunk) when you're all out getting pissed (drunk, not annoyed) and you say something like, "Ah, Welsh, English… whatever. You all live in England"? Or what the Queen of England is doing on that money you brought back from that weird creepy strip club across the border in Canada? Or why — when you went into hiding after that business deal gone awry and you woke up in the hull of a schooner just off the South Sandwich Islands — the city in which you pulled yourself bleeding from the freezing cold south Atlantic Ocean was named after King Edward?
Well, this video should clear things up for you…
(via The Daily What)
Tags: Australia, Canada, Europe, Ireland, New Zealand, Queen Elizabeth, Religion, United Kingdom
Comedians on Twitter are the best thing to happen to the news cycle since the sculpting of Anderson Cooper's perfect face…
Hopefully the cost of building a rescue tunnel won't force Chili's to cut their unbeatable $20 dinner-for-two deal.
More Tworld News after the jump…
Tags: Apple, Arizona, Chile, James Jay Lee, Jan Brewer, New Zealand, Oprah Winfrey, Religion, Science & Technology, Stephen Hawking, Tworld News, Weather
Have you people heard that there's a World Cup going on? Seems like every time you turn around there's some kind of World Cup happening, doesn't it? Well, this one is for Soccer, or — as the rest of the world calls it — Non-American Football.
Naturally, as Americans, we here at the Indecision blog are super amped for this not-at-all-tedious tournament. And we'll help you get amped in equal parts by filling you in on all the important games that you should be paying attention to. But first, here's everything you need to know about Soccer…
* No player may touch the ball with his hands ever. Except for the goalie. And everybody else on the team under certain circumstances. The breaking of this rule is punishable by death.
* The less scoring that occurs in a game, the more exciting it is!
* The Ancient Greeks and Romans are known to have played many ball games, some of which involved the use of the feet. The Roman game harpastum is believed to have been adapted from a Greek team game known as "ἐπίσκυρος" (episkyros) or "φαινίνδα" (phaininda), which is mentioned by a Greek playwright, Antiphanes (388–311 BC) and later referred to by the Christian theologian Clement of Alexandria (c.150-c.215 AD).
* You totally do not want to accidentally forget to wear your cup when being forced by your parents to play soccer back in grade school. Because, ugh, that pain is profound and life altering.
Now that you know everything you need to know about soccer, here's a rundown of this weekend's biggest, most important games to watch for…
Tags: Algeria, Denmark, Germany, Italy, New Zealand, Serbia, Soccer, Sports, United Kingdom