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Newt Gingrich
  • 6 Things You Don't Know About Vladimir Franz

    1. That he exists. Vladimir Franz is a drama professor, painter and composer with a law degree who is also running for president of the Czech Republic. Apparently Eastern Europe has more than 24 hours in a day.

    2. He is not an X-Man. In addition to the 90% of his body that's tattooed, he also has a variety of body piercings and has been known to dye his hair blue. Essentially he's Dennis Rodman, except people take him seriously.

    3. He is a viable candidate. People take him so seriously that he's currently polling in third place with approximately 11% of the vote. He's particularly popular among young people because duh look at how cool he looks.

    4. He does things on the cheap. About $25,000 in donations. Any of our politicians would run squealing into the night if they had to walk past that campaign budget in a dark alley.

    5. He wrote an opera. Franz composed an operatic adaptation of War of the Newts by Karel Čapek for the State Opera. It's not about Newt Gingrich, but it could be if you just squint your eyes a little bit.

    6. This wasn't his idea. Not only did a friend persuade him to run for office by starting a petition that eventually got 88,000 signatures, but a leading economist and his entire campaign staff are volunteers. And he doesn't even have to email them every day (President OBAMA!).

    Previously
    One of a Kind Candidate: Rocky315w, U.S. congress, New Jersey's 2nd
    Romney Face Tattoo Guy Has Some Regrets

    Photo by isifa/Contributor/Getty Images


    Tags: Barack Obama, Czech Republic, Newt Gingrich, Vladimir Franz
  • 2012: The Exit Interview

    Hello and welcome to our very last post of 2012. Thanks for reading, commenting, following us on Twitter, liking us on Facebook and following us on Tumblr. What better way to review the year that's almost past than with an exclusive interview?

    Indecision: Hi, 2012. Thanks for talking with us.

    2012: [stares, dazedly]

    Indecision: It's okay. You've been through a lot.

    2012: I'm so tired. I'm just so tired.

    Read More »


    Tags: Barack Obama, Debates, Hillary Clinton, LGBT, Marriage Equality, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, Paul Ryan, Primaries, Rand Paul, Rick Santorum, Ron Paul, Sex, Twitter
  • Newt Gingrich Crashes "Parks and Recreation"

    Newt Gingrich walks into St. Elmo Steak House in Indianapolis and runs into Rob Lowe.

    That sounds like the beginning of great joke, and it probably will be

    Read More »


    Tags: Amy Poehler, Indiana, Newt Gingrich, Parks and Recreation
  • Louie Gohmert Nominates Newt Gingrich for House Speaker

    Newt Gingrich will not be president of the United States. He also, it turns out, won't be reprising his role as the Speaker of the House.

    You, along with 99.9999% of the nation, might have taken that second part as a given. But not Rep. Louie Gohmert

    "You don't have to be a member of the body to be speaker," Gohmert, of Texas, told the caucus during the closed-door meeting, according to a source inside the room.

    His motion was not seconded by any other members, and House Speaker John Boehner was reelected by a voice vote, followed by a standing ovation.

    I like to imagine a resigned Rep. Gohmert hanging back after the meeting ended and then walking over to open a coat closet in which Newt Gingrich sits hunched down alongside a bunch of forgotten umbrellas. "They didn't go for it," he says, as a hand slaps him across the face. A single tear shimmers down his cheek as he watches Gingrich storm off to drown his sorrows in Tiffany's trinkets. He flops into an empty wooden chair and sobs quietly to himself. Why, he moans, do we allow the ones we love to hurt us so?

    That's what I like to imagine. It's also probably relatively close to reality.

    Photo by Win McNamee/Getty Images News/Getty Images


    Tags: House of Representatives, John Boehner, Louie Gohmert, Newt Gingrich, Republicans
  • Newt Gingrich Newsletter Predicts Third Obama Term

    Bad things happen when you apply the principles that govern your romantic relationships to your subscription email list. Since Newt Gingrich has decided that his listserv, Gingrich Marketplace, will have an open relationship with whoever wants to buy its services, the newsletter is sometimes errantly thrown open to cranks

    "The truth is, the next election has already been decided. Obama is going to win. It's nearly impossible to beat an incumbent president," advertiser Porter Stansberry wrote in the email to Gingrich supporters. "What's actually at stake right now is whether or not he will have a third-term."

    Conservative news group Human Events manages the Gingrich Marketplace emails, but Gingrich has a say over which advertisers can have their messages go out to the list. And according to Gingrich spokesman R.C. Hammond, Stansberry & Associates should have been on the blacklist.

    I'm glad this email wasn't approved by Gingrich. For as long as it's possible, I'm going to imagine that he's avoiding politics and instead traveling around the Sandy-devastated areas of the northeast, providing zoo animals with care and comfort.

    As for Barack Obama suspending the Constitution and running again in 2016, that event is still much less likely than Mitt Romney winning a third Bush term this year.

    Photo by Win McNamee/Getty Images News/Getty Images


    Tags: Barack Obama, Constitution, Newt Gingrich