Democratic State Sen. Constance Johnson's proposed — and sarcastic — amended language on an Oklahoma "Personhood Bill" that would have fertilized eggs viewed as full citizens…
"However, any action in which a man ejaculates or otherwise deposits semen anywhere but in a woman's vagina shall be interpreted and construed as an action against an unborn child."
She ended up withdrawing the language.
Probably because those people very likely would have gone along with it.
Tags: Masturbation, Oklahoma, Sex, State Legislature
I don't know about you, but I am sick and tired of having to finger through my food every time I'm out at a restaurant just to make certain the chef didn't try to sneak a human zygote onto my dish against my specific requests.
Hopefully, that's one problem that the good people of Oklahoma won't have to put up with for very much longer…
A Republican state senator from Oklahoma City introduced a bill Tuesday that would ban the use of aborted human fetuses in food, despite conceding that he's unaware of any company using such a practice.
Freshman Sen. Ralph Shortey said his own Internet research led him to believe such a ban is necessary and prompted him to offer the bill aimed at raising "public awareness" and giving an "ultimatum to companies" that might consider such a policy.
Shortey said he discovered suggestions online that some companies use embryonic stem cells to develop artificial flavors, but added that he is unaware of any Oklahoma companies doing such research.
Nevermind that the FDA is "not aware of this particular concern" and even staunch anti-abortion groups aren't really certain what Sen. Shortey is going on about. Let's get this taken care of NOW!
The way I see it, you can never bee too careful. One day, a scientist is using a non-sentient stem cell to research a cure for Alzheimer's disease or to stave off progressive blindness. The next, you've got Subway Sandwiches running a late-term abortion clinic out of the kitchen, and some pimply snot-nosed teenager is asking if you want raspberry balsamic vinaigrette on your Italian Bambino hoagie.
It's a very, very slippery slope.
Photo by Xavier Snelgrove/Wikimedia Commons
Tags: Abortion, Food, Oklahoma, Science & Technology, State Legislature, Stem Cells
* The Onion's coverage of the Norquist scandel that's rocking the nation.
* A children's book about how to care for your dog the NOT Romney way.
* The National Journal's "Photo of the Day" gave Gingrich a big head.
* Santorum says "What about three men?" McSweeney's says "Try 12!"
* College Humor has the Cliff's Notes for this year's election.
* From Funny or Die, Mitt Romney's days as a stock photo model.
Tags: Daily Links, Funny or Die, Grover Norquist, Marriage Equality, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, Oklahoma, Rick Santorum, Taxes, The Onion
How long does it take to travel to every state in the nation and mock it right to its face? About two minutes…
I think it's really cool that Paul Jury traveled 19,000 miles in the service of writing his book States of Confusion, but you've got to wonder if it was really necessary. If he was really interested in seeing how everybody in the country really lives, couldn't he have just gone to a Wal-Mart in a Hoveround?
Tags: Alabama, Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas, Books, California, Colorado, Connecticut, Delaware, Florida, Georgia, Hawaii, Idaho, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, Michigan, Minnesota, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana, Nebraska, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, North Carolina, North Dakota, Ohio, Oklahoma, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, South Carolina, South Dakota, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, Vermont, Virginia, Washington, West Virginia, Wisconsin, Wyoming
Republican Oklahoma State Rep. Sally Kern asks a very important question about how black people are always being so lazy and stuff…
"We have a high percentage of blacks in prison, and that's tragic, but are they in prison just because they are black or because they don't want to study as hard in school? I've taught school, and I saw a lot of people of color who didn’t study hard because they said the government would take care of them."
You just know that liberals are somehow going to spin this so that it sounds like it's one of the most breathtakingly racist things you'll hear for a long time. I don't know how they'll do it, but they'll do it somehow.
Tags: Oklahoma, Quote Unquote, Racism