New Missouri House Leader Knows the Truth About Barry Soetoro

Here is some hilarious news from the Great State of Missouri, courtesy of Talking Points Memo. It's really just too great for additional commentary up top, so let TPM take it away!

State Rep. Timothy W. Jones (R-Eureka) of the Missouri House of Representatives was unanimously elected by the new Republican caucus to be the next Majority Floor Leader.

Why is that newsworthy? Because he was represented by "Birther Queen" Orly Taitz in a federal case alleging that President Barack Obama was secretly an Indonesian named Barry Soetoro and ineligible to be President of the United States.

Surely this can only mean great things for the people of Missouri! Oh, how their public schools are going to benefit from this particular foray into genius leadership!

Hopefully, the citizens of St. Louis are ready for their children to take Fart Noises 101 and Nodding in Unison 201 every day for the rest of their miserable little lives.

Tags: Barack Obama, Barry Soetoro, Birthers, Missouri, Orly Taitz, Republicans

Orly Taitz Just Might Be the Republican Nominee for California's Secretary of State (of Our Dreams)

Orly Taitz — MechaBirther and human punchline — might actually win the GOP nomination to be California's Secretary of State tonight?! Like, for reals, might win?

Also, Orly Taitz is running for the GOP nomination to be California's Secretary of State?! How could I not known this?

Now she’s running for the GOP nomination for secretary of state, and with her establishment-backed primary opponent mounting a less-than-stellar campaign against her, operatives say there’s a chance she could win.

"It'd be a disaster for the Republican party," says James Lacy, a conservative GOP operative in the state. "Can you imagine if [gubernatorial candidate] Meg Whitman and [candidate for Lt. Gov.] Abel Maldonado — both of whom might have a chance to win in November — had to run with Orly Taitz as secretary of state, who would make her cockamamie issues about Obama’s birth certificate problems at the forefront of her activities?"

"There is no Republican candidate for statewide office that would be willing to have her campaign with them," says Adam Probolsky, a spokesman for the Orange County Republican Party.

Well, I don't know. Maybe this is a new-and-improved, more serious-minded and sane Orly Taitz…

Taitz is running against Damon Dunn, an African-American former professional football player. As with Obama, she’s turned to lawsuits to challenge him, arguing that Dunn’s brief time as a registered Democrat in Florida — from his playing days with the Jacksonville Jaguars — disqualifies him from the California ballot and amounts to fraud…

Yaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy!!!! Orly Taitz is my favorite insane person who is running for the GOP nomination to be California's Secretary of State in the world!

Tags: Birthers, California, Florida, Football, Orly Taitz, Republicans, Sports

Orly Taitz Is Still the Hardest Working Person in Crazy Business

On this week's episode of Everything's Comin' Up Orly!, everybody's favorite wacky Moldavian-born lawyer/dentist Orly Taitz continues on her zany quest to bring down the U.S. President. But, will her ingenious plan to prosecute Kenyan spy Barack Obama for war crimes against Afghanistan by the International Criminal Court in the Netherlands — where she she is licensed to practice law — go off without a hitch? Or will she end up back in the ditch after receiving a surprise visit from her long lost Dutch twin sister who's studying to become a Las Vegas illusionist? Hilarity is sure to ensue.

Then, stay tuned for a very special episode of It's Always Racist in Arizona.

Tags: Arizona, Barack Obama, Birthers, Kenya, Netherlands, Orly Taitz, Racism

Satirical Cartoon Decays Last Frayed Fibers of Political Decency, Calls Sarah Palin a Mean Name

This cartoon from Al Gore's Current TV had the temerity to label poor little Sarah Palin — who never said an unkind word about another human being — as a "Twilf" and showed her Twitter handle as being "Gun-Ho."

Obviously, this is the biggest scandal ever in the history of these United States of America…

That bit at the end, with Glenn Beck gleefully hurling his own feces at detractors, that seemed unfair.

He'd almost certainly be crying.

Tags: Al Gore, Barack Obama, Bill O'Reilly, Birthers, Glenn Beck, Orly Taitz, Rachel Maddow, Rush Limbaugh, Sarah Palin, Tea Party

From the Pork Barrel: Antichrist, Superstar

* One in twelve New Jerseyans even dumber than you think they are.

* I'll bet I could spend all 24,000,000,000 hours of the day reading through the #michellemalkinmath hashtag on Twitter.

* Orly Taitz is just like an honorable version of Nelson Mandela.

* Is Bill O'Reilly endorsing socialism?

* Consider Philadelphia's two biggest issues — money and cheesesteaks — solved! Thanks, Dr. Phil!

Tags: Antichrist, Barack Obama, Bill O'Reilly, Birthers, Christianity, Dr. Phil, Ed Rendell, Food, Health Care, Michelle Malkin, New Jersey, Orly Taitz, Pennsylvania, Philadelphia, Pork Barrel, Religion, Socialism, Twitter