Sean Hannity: Obama Killed Osama bin Laden by Accident

Do you ever have one of those days when you mean to invite the world's most-wanted terrorist over to the White House for a beer summit but instead order a SEAL team to shoot him dead?

I hate it when that happens. As Fox News's Sean Hannity explained — shortly after breaking into Rush Limbaugh's drug stash apparently – Barack Obama had exactly that kind of experience, as the raid against bin Laden "wouldn't have happened if [Obama] had his way, and that can be proven, as well, on tape."

One wonders how the current Republican contenders would have dealt with bin Laden. Ron Paul remembers a time before Congress ruined everything with "standing armies" and "special forces" when letters of marque and reprisal and fabulous, fabulous prizes were all we needed to fight bad guys. Newt Gingrich? Lectures on secular-Islamic fundamentalism broadcast through drone-based loudspeakers throughout the Af-Pak region would have driven bin Laden to suicide long ago. And I think Rick Santorum is okay with how things went down, provided no gay solider was there to gay up the killing with his gayness.

As for what really transpired, Hannity is obviously the first person the president confides in, so who are we to doubt his contention that Obama can't do anything right? Even when his policy-goal is a relatively modest of one "don't hunt down an infamous mass murderer who has evaded detection for a decade," he still manages to screw it up and kill the guy.

Photo by Chris McKay/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images

Tags: al Qaeda, Barack Obama, Fox News, Osama bin Laden, Sean Hannity, Terrorism

Our Endorsements: SNL's Moon President

* SNL takes on the Newt Gingrich moon colony.

* Joe Mande: Twitter's political prankster, from Politico.

* The Many Loves of Mitt Romney, from Vice.com

* From The Onion, a congressman is sad to learn that a lobbyist isn't really his friend.

* An Osama bin Laden zombie movie is coming out, provided it gets enough funding.

Tags: Abortion, BuzzFeed, Daily Links, House of Representatives, Lobbyists, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, Osama bin Laden, Planned Parenthood, Saturday Night Live, The Onion, Twitter, Washington DC

The Daily Show on the State of the Union

The Best F#@king New Team Ever offers the best f#@king analysis ever of the President's SOTU address, its responses and all the reasons that we're going to die.

The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11/10c.

Tags: Al Madrigal, Barack Obama, Chuck Schumer, Indiana, Iran, Jon Stewart, Michelle Obama, Mitch Daniels, Mitt Romney, Osama bin Laden, Samantha Bee, State of the Union, Taxes, The Daily Show, Video, Wyatt Cenac

A Look Back at 2011 with The Daily Show – May

Remember when U.S. Navy SEAL Team 6 tracked Rep. Anthony Weiner's penis into the gayest city in America but ended up getting assaulted by French economist Dominique Strauss-Kahn? That was crazy!

The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11/10c.

Tags: Anthony Weiner, Anthony Weiner's Penis, Jon Stewart, Military, Osama bin Laden, TDS Looks Back at 2011, The Daily Show, Video

Our Endorsements: Vote No Ho Ho

* From Funny or Die, Santa/Rudolph Giuliani 2012?

* Loudon Wainwright III has a Newt song out!

* In memoriam: A look back at 2011's tyrant deaths.

* Here are some people who thought Lil' Kim died yesterday.

* From Buzzfeed, some amazing Kim Jong-Il facts.

* Groucho Marx's letter to U.S. troops.

Tags: Christmas, Daily Links, Groucho Marx, Kim Jong Il, Muammar Qaddafi, Newt Gingrich, Osama bin Laden, Primaries, Republicans, Saddam Hussein, Twitter, War on Christmas