Barack Obama Winning the Non-American Non-Vote

If the rest of the world were allowed to vote for the President of the United States, that would be really weird. Also, Barack Obama would win by a landslide…

An average of 50% favoured Mr Obama, with 9% for Mr Romney, in the survey of 21,797 people in 21 countries.

Only Pakistan's respondents said they would prefer to see Mr Romney win November's election.

I think the biggest take away from this poll is the value in not pronouncing a county's name like Pahh-KEY-stan. I doubt 72 percent of French people would continue supporting Obama if he pronounced their country as Froonce.

Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images News/Getty Images

Tags: Barack Obama, Foreign Policy, Pakistan, Polls

Barack Obama's June Gloom

If May was gray for President Obama, June has been doom and gloom. After the slew of bad mojo last week, White House press secretary Jay Carney was thrown to the media dingos to answer some uncomfortable questions during Monday’s briefing…

The AP asked about the president’s unfortunate private-sector-is-fine remark. The Reuters correspondent asked about the economic "head winds" from Europe. Ed Henry of Fox News Channel asked about the looming contempt-of-Congress vote against Attorney General Eric Holder. Margaret Talev of Bloomberg News asked about the Supreme Court striking down Obamacare. Norah O'Donnell of CBS News asked about calls for a special prosecutor to probe leaks. Victoria Jones of Talk Radio News asked about the stalled talks with Pakistan.

Carney sought relief by calling on TV correspondents from swing states, but the one from Wisconsin asked about the failed attempt to recall Republican Gov. Scott Walker and the one from Nevada asked about her state’s unemployment rate, the nation’s highest.

Talk then headed back to commerce secretary John Bryson's hit-and-run felony citation, the only remotely feel-good story of the week. It turns out a medical condition and not "going Lohan" was to blame for Bryson's erratic driving.

That was a close call, but maybe it's time for President Obama to put an ankle monitor on all his cabinet members. Keep everyone on lock down until November. Nobody wants to see a picture of David Axelrod climbing into his car after a night of clubbing with his thong showing. Also, no more Fast and Furious for Eric Holder.

And, for God's sake, nobody let the economy take the Porsche out for a spin.

Photo by Olivier Douliery-Pool/Getty Images News/Getty Images

Tags: Barack Obama, Department of Justice, Economy, Eric Holder, Foreign Policy, Health Care, House of Representatives, John Bryson, Nevada, Pakistan, Recall, Scott Walker, Supreme Court, Unemployment, Wisconsin

Our Endorsements: Pulling Out Is Never 100%

* Pulling out of Iraq has some unintended consequences, from College Humor.

* The Bain hate train stops here.

* If Herman Cain had a "kill list" it would be hilarious.

* What other shenanigans has the Secret Service been up to?

* Me the People is a hilarious new book  from Kevin Bleyer that rewrites the Constitution.

* Politwoops, a site that collects politician's deleted tweets/reminds them that the internet is forever.

Tags: Bain Capital, Barack Obama, Benjamin Franklin, College Humor, Constitution, Daily Links, Funny or Die, George Washington, Herman Cain, Iran, Iraq, Michele Bachmann, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, Pakistan, Rick Santorum, Secret Service, The Daily Show, Twitter

Quote Unquote: Obama 2012 App

User comment on the Obama 2012 iPad app…

"Obama 2012 just doesn't work! When I click *close gitmo* it starts a war in Libya. When I click *Nobel Peace Prize* it errors out and increases unmanned drone attacks in Pakistan!"

And I'll tell you what else, this app is pretty awful at protecting personal information.

(via Reddit)

Tags: Barack Obama, Guantanamo Bay, Libya, Military, Nobel Prize, Pakistan, Quote Unquote, Science & Technology

Pakistan Totally Flirting with China

When any great romance begins to flounder, there generally can be found a third party waiting to pick up the pieces (and touch the sexy parts!) of one of the aggrieved parties. And so it is with the USA and Pakistan’s crumbling, backstabbing, gun-filled relationship.

Yes, China has swooped in to soothe Pakistan’s fevered brow and also take over one of its naval ports. Looks like there ARE other fish in the sea, Islamabad. Also: gunboats!

Pakistan's defense minister said China has agreed to take over operation of the strategically positioned but underused port of Gwadar, and that Islamabad would like the Chinese to build a base there for the Pakistani navy.

Ahmad Mukhtar gave no clear timetable on the possible change at Gwadar, on Pakistan's western coast, which is currently managed by a Singaporean government company. But his statement Saturday is the latest illustration of how Pakistan is portraying China as a powerful alternative ally and aid source if the U.S. scales down military assistance for Islamabad in the aftermath of Osama bin Laden's killing.

Then again, maybe Pakistan is just using China to make the U.S. jealous. If it works, and the U.S. is all, "OMG Pakistan! We're so sorry, we missed you so much, you're our one true love!" then who will China take to Global Domination Prom?

It's questions like these that keep international geopolitical experts up at night, crying into their pink plastic diaries.

Photo by Jason Lee-Pool/Getty Images News/Getty Images

Tags: China, Guns, Military, Pakistan