Middle East Shocker: Palestinian-Israeli Talks Stalling

Try not to let your eyeballs fall out of your head in shock, but nobody in the Middle East "peace" talks seems to give a crap about compromising anytime soon. Or, you know, ever…

The Obama administration believes it has persuaded Arab states not to scuttle the fledgling Middle East peace negotiations, officials said Thursday, despite the Israeli government's refusal to freeze Jewish settlements and a vow by the Palestinians to walk away if Israel did not.

After days of intensive diplomacy by Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton and the administration’s special envoy, George J. Mitchell, the administration now expects the meeting in Libya to produce a stream of vitriol against Israel and an insistence that the two sides cannot talk while settlement building is under way, American and Israeli officials said, but no formal declaration that negotiations should be abandoned.

Wow. This is unprecedented! One side says it won't do anything unless the other side does a thing it patently refuses to do! Next you're going to tell us that the other side also refuses to do a thing as long as the other other side keeps doing a thing it says it will not stop doing! Do you think these folks will ever just sit down at a table together, look and one another, and go, "You know what? This is NEVER GOING TO WORK," fist-bump and then exit?

Hmm, probably not, as long as each side still picks its Homecoming Queen based on who sings the old God-and-country standards loudly enough.

During his Thursday visit to Lod, Mr. Netanyahu also spoke about the new language he wants to bring to a loyalty oath for non-Jews seeking Israeli citizenship. On Sunday he will ask the cabinet to approve requiring non-Jews to declare loyalty to "the State of Israel as a Jewish democratic state." The move is largely aimed at Palestinians who seek Israeli citizenship through marrying Israeli Arabs.

Well, this will undoubtedly all be brought to a tidy, friendly conclusion by the commencement of Shabbos. Have a great long weekend, Children of Abraham!

Tags: Benjamin Netanyahu, Hillary Clinton, Israel, Mahmoud Abbas, Middle East, Obama Administration, Palestine

Jon Stewart and John Oliver on the Middle East Peace Talks

On last night's Daily Show, Jon Stewart covered the latest round of talks between Israel and Palestine. Now I know these peace talks look a lot like all the peace talks that have come before, but as I understand it, these are in 3D. So, you know, there's that.

The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11pm / 10c.

Tags: Hillary Clinton, Israel, John Oliver, Jon Stewart, Middle East, Palestine, The Daily Show, Video

Jon Stewart's Extended Interview with Jordan's King Abdullah II

On last night's Daily Show, Jon Stewart sat down with King Abdullah II of Jordan to talk about the Israeli/Palestinian conflict. The interview went long, but now you can watch the entire thing with an additional nine and a half minutes right here. It's like when you order a milkshake and they fill the glass and then also leave you the mixer cup, except instead of a tasty treat, it's a frank discussion of our world's uncertain future.

Here's part 1:

The second half of the interview can be found below.

The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11pm / 10c.

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Tags: Israel, Jon Stewart, Jordan, Middle East, Palestine, The Daily Show, Video

New Old News: Middle East Peace Talks

As President Obama convenes Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and Palistinian Authority President Mahmoud Abbas for another round of sure-to-be successful peace talks, Indecision looks back at the last time an American president succeeded in bringing peace to the Middle East.

The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11pm/10c.

Tags: Benjamin Netanyahu, Israel, Jon Stewart, Mahmoud Abbas, Palestine, The Daily Show, Video

Rep. Anthony Weiner Has Violent Altercation with Goat

I don't know about you, but I'm getting pretty tired of reading variations on this story in the news every other day…

Rep. Anthony Weiner (D-N.Y.) was injured by a mohair goat on Thursday during a press conference to highlight subsidies to the mohair industry.

The goat nicked Weiner's right hand with one of its pointy, foot-long horns, hard enough to draw blood.

Hey, journalists! This is politics. People are gonna be physically assaulted by barnyard animals from time to time. It's just the nature of the business. Do we have to hear about it every single time it happens?

At press time, it was unclear which goat, Lancelot or Arthur, was to blame for Weiner's injury.

I'm guessing it was Lancelot. That's goat's politics have always been liberal enough to make even me cringe, and Weiner's recent remarks in favor of IDF's raid on the Gaza flotilla have been causing a bit of a stir on the left side of the blogosphere. And we all know how violent liberals can be.

Tags: Animals, Anthony Weiner, House of Representatives, Israel, Palestine