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  • Migration Madness 2010: Racial Profiling Tournament Brackets

    Arizona's recent bid to lead as America's biggest racial profiler has already received backing from Michigan, Alabama, Florida, Nebraska, and the Northern Mariana Islands, among others. But now seven of Mexico's fellow Latin American countries have followed its lead with motions in supports of lawsuits challenging Arizona's immigration enforcement law SP1070

    Bolivia, Colombia, El Salvador, Guatemala, Nicaragua, Paraguay and Peru filed separate, nearly identical motions to join Mexico's legal brief supporting the lawsuit filed by U.S. civil rights and other advocacy groups….

    Mexico says the law would lead to racial profiling and hinder trade, tourism and the fight against drug trafficking.

    You know what that means, don't you? It's time for Migration Madness, the tournament in which political entities slug it out in the headlines for the title — no, the legal right, actually — to have or not have Constitutionally unsound racial profiling implemented within the United States.

    And, no that we know which governing bodies have qualified, we can finally draw up the tournament seedings, which are based upon several factors, including country ranking, win-loss war record, ethnicity, and whether or not I think a country had a funny name. Continue after the jump to see how it shakes out…

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    Tags: Alabama, Arizona, Bolivia, Colombia, El Salvador, Florida, Guatemala, Immigration, Michigan, Mike Cox, Nebraska, Nicaragua, Northern Mariana Islands, Paraguay, Pennsylvania, Peru, South Carolina, South Dakota, Texas, West Virginia
  • World Cup Fever: Rappity Rap Rapping "The Soccer (a.k.a. Football) Shuffle"

    And, thus, tomorrow begins the World Cup quarterfinals, otherwise known as South America vs. The World…

    Brazil v. Netherlands
    Uruguay v. Ghana

    Argentina v. Germany
    Paraguay v. Spain

    These games begin tomorrow, and by the end of the day Saturday, the World Cup will effectively be The South-Western Hemisphere Cup, and then the entire Eastern Hemisphere can rejoin us in having better things to think about.

    Or, maybe I spoke too soon. It appears as though there actually are some people here in the North-Western Hemisphere who are still paying attention to this. Last night, The Daily Show — in the absence of any real news — dedicated its entire episode to this Cup of the World thing. Here's Jon Hodgman explains how FIFA can make Non-American Football more appealing to Non-Non-Americans…

    The CC Insider has the complete episode in its complete completesity right over GOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAALLLLLLL!!!!!!

    The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11pm / 10c.


    Tags: Argentina, Brazil, Germany, Ghana, John Hodgman, Jon Stewart, Netherlands, Paraguay, Soccer, Spain, Sports, The Daily Show, Uruguay
  • The Top 27 Political Bastards of All Time (The Real Kind)


    Here's a riddle. What's conceived in sin; takes nine months to complete; and makes for some sticky situations upon its unwelcomed arrival? That's right, a completely convoluted Indecision article that lists famous illegitimate political offspring while simultaneously promoting the season premiere of The Sarah Silverman Program, entitled "The Proof Is in the Penis." Oh, except Indecision didn't give me nine months to write this. More like five days. And I guess I didn't really conceive it in sin, although between you and me, my silk boxers do feel pretty sweet beneath my blogging pants.

    Now before you go complaining about who I left off, keep in mind that I was looking not only for political progeny born to unmarried parents, but also people who — when organized in list form — would make you, the reader, want to tune in for Sarah Silverman's premiere episode, "The Proof Is in the Penis" this Thursday at 10:30pm / 9:30c. Did I accomplish this? Hey, who's wearing the blogging pants around here. Spoiler alert: Not me as of twenty seconds ago.

    .

    27. John Edwards' daughter Frances Quinn Hunter

    When John Edwards burst on the National political scene in 2000, he was like nothing we'd ever seen. The guy just didn't lie like a politician. Unfortunately, he lied a lot like a trial lawyer. And in 2008, we learned that John Edwards could lie like other things too.

    For example, like that guy your mom called your "uncle" when your dad was away on business trips. In any event, Edwards' affair with Rielle Hunter came to light in 2008, and while he admitted his wrongdoing, he was also adamant that Ms. Hunter's baby girl was not his. Turns out that was also a lie.

    Fast-forward to 2010 and now Edwards has admitted that Frances Quinn is his daughter. This might be the first time a two-year-old's first sentence has been, "No, dude. Seriously. It's O.K."

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    Tags: Bristol Palin, Christianity, France, Grover Cleveland, John Edwards, Levi Johnston, Paraguay, Racism, Religion, Rielle Hunter, Sarah Palin, Scandalgate, Senate, Sex, South Africa, South Carolina, Strom Thurmond, Tripp Johnston-Palin