Have you fucked up in some way these past eight years? Looking for a way to get off scott-free while an ethically-impaired Decider is still sitting in the Oval Office?
Well, lemme tell ya, you're not alone. In fact, you're so not alone that the White House had to create an automated online pardoning app to handle the overwhelming demand for "Get Out of Jail Free" cards.
Just enter all the pertinent info in the form below and then print out your own pardon from President Bush…
Tags: George W. Bush, Pardons
Notice anything interesting about all the turkeys being pardoned in these pictures?
That's right! None of these turkeys are from the inner-city.
Last year, Michael Kraskin pointed out here on this blog that in Bush's first seven years in office, not once did he pardon a non-caucasian turkey for Thanksgiving.
But, now, at Political Machine, he's showing us that the problem is much more systemic. It appears that no president since Harry Truman has pardoned a turkey of color. Not even Bill Clinton, our first black turkey president.
Let's hope that Barack Obama has the decency to make change happen and pardon, at least, a mixed-race turkey next year.
Update: Change has not come to America quite yet. Here's President Bush and this year's Thanksgiving pardon recipient, Pumpkin.
Tags: Bill Clinton, George H.W. Bush, George W. Bush, Harry Truman, Pardons, Ronald Reagan, Thanksgiving
In the waning days of President Bush's time in office, convicted criminals are coming out of the woodwork in hopes of a presidential pardon. Among them is former-Congressman Randy "Duke" Cunningham (R-CA), but as TPM points out, there may not be a great deal of support for the disgraced lawmaker:
We noticed that there are only 13 signatures on an online petition designed to demonstrate public support for a pardon, even though it was posted nearly three years ago — just two days after Cunningham pleaded guilty to accepting more than $2.4 million in bribes.
The 66-year-old, who has a history of prostate cancer, was later sentenced to 100 months in prison.
Ouch. To help put that in perspective, an anti-almond-pasteurizing petition started a year-and-a-half ago on the same site has over 23,000 signatures.
Even a two-week-old petition favoring a Castlevania 3 remake has 112 supporters.
At this point, I'd wager more people would want to go naked hot-tubbing with Cunningham than pardon him.
Tags: California, Pardons
Oh, wait. No, he didn't. My mistake. He lost…
With an estimated 2,500 votes still outstanding and other election certification steps still to take place, Mark Begich, the Democratic mayor of Anchorage, had taken a lead of 3,724 votes out of more than 315,000 cast, and he declared victory.
Yeah, but, I guess Stevens could conceivably still pull this one out if he can somehow manage to get 149 percent of the remaining 2,500 uncounted votes. I think he can do it!
This must be a very proud day for Mark Begich. Can you imagine what an honor it is to beat a man convicted of seven felony charges by a couple thousand votes?!
"I am humbled and honored to serve Alaska in the United States Senate,” Mr. Begich said. “It's been an incredible journey getting to this point, and I appreciate the support and commitment of the thousands of Alaskans who have brought us to this day. I can't wait to get to work fighting for Alaskan families.”
Mr. Stevens did not immediately concede the race. He could request a recount, but he would have to pay for it if the current vote margins hold.
You know what, though. Having lost the longest held senate seat in U.S. History and facing possible — but unlikely (pardon, anyone?) — jail time, there is something positive for Stevens to grasp hold of.
Today's his birthday!
The defeat came on Mr. Stevens's 85th birthday, at the end of a day in which he avoided expulsion from the ranks of Senate Republicans as his colleagues awaited the final results.
Happy Birthday, former Senator Stevens.
Tags: Alaska, Mark Begich, Pardons, Senate, Ted Stevens