Wouldn't you know it, but on the first official day of the GOP primaries, former Iowa caucus loser Pat Robertson happened to check his inbox, and now it turns out he already knows the outcome to everything that's going to happen for the next eight months…
"I spent the better part of a week in prayer and just saying, 'God show me something,' some things I’ll share with you. I think he showed me the next me the next president but I’m not supposed to talk about that so I'll leave you in the dark — probably just as well — I think I’ll know who it will be."
Noooooo!!!! You can't do that, Pat Robertson! You can't come out and tell us that you know the answer to the most important question in America right now, but then casually mention that you can't tell us! That's not fair!
To be clear, I totally believe you when you say that the Architect of All Creation made a special point to shoot you text message or something and give you a heads up about who will be making minor changes to the memetic direction in which the country will be moving over the course of the next four-to-eight years. I certainly have no reason to doubt that.
And I'm not asking you to betray the trust of an omnipresent omnipotent omnibenevolent being who exists outside of space and time, just after he did you a major solid like that. No way! To even see such preposterousness all written out like that is just kind of embarrassing and cringeworthy.
I'm just asking why you had to tell us in the first place! We all would have been much happier not knowing that you know. So unfair.
Tags: Christianity, Pat Robertson, Primaries, Religion, Republicans
* Occupy Wall Street protesters driven away from the President's New Hampshire speech with mystical "Oh Bah Mah!" incantation.
* Pat Robertson encounters an exotic ethnic food consisting of macaroni and cheese.
* Glenn Beck's network's attempt at a political comedy show seems shockingly promising.
* Will the GOP primary clown show conclude with an actual circus?
Tags: Barack Obama, Food, New Hampshire, Occupy Wall Street, Pat Robertson, Pork Barrel, Primaries, Protesters, Republicans, Thanksgiving
* Twist of Cain, from Bad Lip Reading.
* Putin on the Ritz, by Brad Jonas.
* American job creators, from The Onion.
* Anderson Cooper's Halloween costume.
* Funny or Die shows why Obama should grow his facial hair out for good luck until the election.
* American history visualized, via The Momentus Project.
* Sarah Silverman discusses Rick Perry and her aptly named NAACP comedy benefit.
* HAVE A HAPPY SATAN'S NIGHT, Pat Robertson! From Buzzfeed.
Tags: Anderson Cooper, Barack Obama, Daily Links, Economy, Funny or Die, Halloween, NAACP, Pat Robertson, Primaries, Rachel Maddow, Republicans, Rick Perry, Sarah Silverman, The Onion, Vladimir Putin
Look, this is just my humble opinion, but I think people who complain that the Republican Party is getting too extreme should be thrown into a 200-foot pit filled with cobras, lions and toxic waste. (That's a joke. (But not really.))
Coverage continues with criticism from Pat Robertson after the jump.
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Tags: Barack Obama, Birthers, Christianity, Herman Cain, Immigration, Jon Stewart, Mexico, Pat Robertson, Primaries, Religion, Republicans, Rick Perry, The Daily Show, Video
Christian leader and host of The 700 Club Pat Robertson on the creeping extremism of the Republican Party…
"Those people in the Republican primary have got to lay off of this stuff. They're forcing their leaders, the front runners, into positions that will mean they lose the general election… you appeal to the narrow base and they'll applaud the daylights out of what you’re saying, and then you hit the general election and they say 'no way' and then the Democrat, whoever it is, is going to just play these statements to the hilt. They've got to stop this! It's just so counterproductive!"
Well, of course a huge liberal progressive hippy like Pat Robertson would say something like this. I wanna know when some stalwart conservatives are going to start taking note of this trend.
Tags: Christianity, Pat Robertson, Primaries, Quote Unquote, Religion, Republicans