Pat Robertson Warns That Gay Marriage Signals the Collapse of United States

You thought that the recent New York Senate decision for marriage equality was a victory for civil liberties and basic human rights? Nope! Shows what you know.

Pat Robertson — in his usual charming manner — explains why this is actually the death knell of America…

"In history there's never been a civilization ever in history that has embraced homosexuality and turned away from traditional fidelity, traditional marriage, traditional child-rearing, and has survived. There isn’t one single civilization that has survived that openly embraced homosexuality. So you say, 'what's going to happen to America?' Well if history is any guide, the same thing’s going to happen to us."

There scariest thing is, he's right! Pat Robertson is totally right! Gayistan — gone! Friends of Dorothylvania — gone! Democratic Republic of Homo — gone! They're all gone! All the thousands of nations that actively embraced homosexuality have all fallen into collapse. Almost as if they never existed in the first place.

And, you know what? All go Pat Robertson one further: No planet that has ever expressed a tolerance for sexual freedoms has not ultimately — within a ten or so billion years — been swallowed by the sun that exists at the center of its solar system. Never! Name one exception. You can't!

Is that really what we want for the Earth?

Tags: Christianity, LGBT, Marriage, New York, Pat Robertson, Religion

The 2011 Biggest Douchebag Awards – The Nominees

Every year, starting about five minutes ago, we at Indecision choose a handful of lucky nominees for a handful of categories to be in the running for the very prestigious Biggest Douchebag Awards.

This year, we are lucky to find ourselves being sponsored by Denis Leary's brand new, soon-to-drop Comedy Central special Douchebags & Donuts, which coincidentally has the word "douchebags" in its title. Synchronicity!

Here are the nominees. You choose the winners!

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The Biggest Douchebag in the Republican Party

More nominees after the jump.

Denis Leary's Douchebags & Donuts premiers on Comedy Central Sunday, January 16 at 10pm / 9c.

Read More »

Tags: Ben Nelson, Bill Maher, Eric Cantor, Glenn Beck, Harry Reid, Hugo Chavez, Iran, Italy, James Carville, Joe Barton, John Edwards, John McCain, Juan Williams, Karl Rove, Keith Olbermann, Kim Jong Il, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Michael Moore, Michele Bachmann, Michelle Malkin, North Korea, Pat Robertson, Rahm Emanuel, Rod Blagojevich, Rush Limbaugh, Sarah Palin, Silvio Berlusconi, Venezuela, Zimbabwe

Pat Robertson Is Against Being Not Un-Against the Opposite of Un-Decriminalizing Pot

Pat Robertson may be in favor of decriminalizing marijuana, but that doesn't keep him from being opposed to being in favor of decriminalizing it.

At least according to his publicist…

Dr. Robertson did not call for the decriminalization of marijuana. He was advocating that our government revisit the severity of the existing laws because mandatory drug sentences do harm to many young people who go to prison and come out as hardened criminals. He was also pointing out that these mandatory sentences needlessly cost our government millions of dollars when there are better approaches available.

So, I suppose enough kindly old grandparents watching his show were offended by the idea of the government maybe not destroying the lives of people who are caught doing something that does nobody else any harm and is their own business that the show's producers felt the need to backpedal a bit.

Fair enough. His stance now makes no logical sense, but I  guess you gotta do what you gotta do. My only concern is that his audience is used to strong rational arguments. I really hope this inconsistency doesn't hurt his standing with them.

Tags: Christianity, Crime, Drugs, Marijuana, Pat Robertson, Religion, Television

Quote Unquote: Smoking Mother Nature

Michael Moore on a major flaw of our legal system…

"I'm not exactly for the use of drugs, don't get me wrong, but I just believe that criminalizing marijuana, criminalizing the possession of a few ounces of pot, that kinda thing it's just, it's costing us a fortune and it's ruining young people. Young people go into prisons, they go in as youths and come out as hardened criminals. That's not a good thing."

Whoops! Sorry, my mistake. Typo! Spelled the quoter's name wrong. Should have read "Pat Robertson."

Tags: Drugs, Marijuana, Pat Robertson, Quote Unquote

A Roundup of Horrible Things Pat Robertson Has Not Yet Said About Chile

When I heard about the 8.8 magnitude earthquake that hit Chile over the weekend, my first thought was for my friend D., because her family lives there. My second thought was "how will Pat Robertson make me want to punch a wall this time?" (You remember last time.)

A brief survey of the internet this morning shows several asinine remarks attributed to Dr. Robertson, like this one:

"True story, in 1973 Chile elected a Communist to lead their government. The earthquake was punishment for that. God hates Communism. Also he is punishing Chile for electing a woman president, for not making their citizens speak English, and for having a country named after a food."

And this one:

"If I had to guess, I'd say it must have to do with Chile's persecution and attempted prosecution of their great former leader, and a personal hero of mine, Augusto Pinochet – who, it should be noted, had never been convicted of a crime when the Lord called him home three years ago."

And this one:

[Robertson] said that the 8.8 magnitude earthquake off the coast of Chile yesterday was the result of the nation's pact with the Chupacabra, or goat-sucker, a devilish beast blamed for livestock deaths across Latin America.

These are, of course, jokes. They are not real remarks by Pat Robertson. They may be real things he thinks, but he hasn't said them (yet), at least not in public, so we'll have keep waiting to find out what horrible remark Pat Robertson really will make about Chile. I know! It's been days.

Give the ol' guy a break. He may have an Olympic-caliber asshole reflex, but these things do slow down.

Want to make a donation (not to Pat Robertson)? Here's a good list of organizations sending aid to Chile.

Tags: Chile, Christianity, Pat Robertson, Religion