7 Weird Bills Introduced in the New Congress

Enthusiasts of renaming post offices, rejoice! Congress has returned  to session, but honoring local heroes is not the only thing they can do. They're also good at filing "message" legislation intended to show their constituents they care about various pet causes.

Whether you're a conspiracy theorist hounded by the UN's black helicopters or just a survivalist goldbug awaiting an economic cataclysm, take comfort in knowing that some member of Congress hears your concerns:

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Tags: House of Representatives, Jim Moran, John Conyers, Jose Serrano, Laws, Paul Broun, Rob Woodall, Senate

Best Write-In Votes of 2012 National Tournament

From Jesus Christ to Ron Paul to Your Mom, thousands of not-on-the-ballot candidates received votes in this year's election. Some of the most creative entries came from Georgia's 10th Congressional District, where evolution-denying doctor Paul Broun faced no Democratic opponent but had to fend-off a write-in challenge from the ghost Charles Darwin.

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Tags: Animals, Georgia, History, Paul Broun, Pennsylvania, Television

From the Pork Barrel: The Empty Chair

* Oh, man! I wish we had an empty chair up there on stage Wednesday night. Just look at the charisma oozing from that empty chair. Besides, a chair sits. It doesn't just lie down.

* The actual truth behind Mitt Romney's handkerchief have finally been revealed!

* "You see! I told you! We've all been falling right into Obama's plans all along!" – your uncle who likes forwarding emails

* Rep. Paul Broun explains that evolution and the Big Bang are "lies straight from the pit of Hell," by which I'm pretty sure he means "a classroom."

* Download our free iPhone and iPad app Indecision Election Companion and jump up into the the Peanut Gallery — our liveblog/instant reaction arena — to watch and respond with us as we watch CNN's State of the Union Sunday morning at 9 am (EST).

Tags: Barack Obama, Debates, Evolution, Georgia, House of Representatives, Mitt Romney, New Yorker, Paul Broun, Pork Barrel, Science & Technology, Unemployment

From the Pork Barrel: Homework

* Barack Obama today asked members of the media to act like journalists. I don't know. I think that's asking a bit much of them.

* Rep. Paul Broun made an excellent point today, pointing out how Occupy Wall Street is an "attack upon freedom" from having to listen to people express their opinions.

* Hahaha! Sen. Scott Brown really nails Elizabeth Warren for being old and not a Victoria's Secret model. Burn!

* Sarah Palin remembers Steve Jobs as "an island that touched so many people." That's such an island thing to do, isn't it?

Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images News/Getty Images

Tags: Elizabeth Warren, House of Representatives, Massachusetts, Occupy Wall Street, Paul Broun, Pork Barrel, Protesters, Sarah Palin, Scott Brown, Senate, Steve Jobs

From the Pork Barrel: The Loneliest Supporter

* Public Policy Polling discovers a Jon Huntsman supporter in the wilds of Iowa.

* Mitt Romney loves sparkling Mormon vampires.

* Sage advice for Anthony Weiner and his maybe-penis.

* Wondering why Weiner can't remember if that penis is his? Wonder no more.

* Fifty-eight percent of conservatives are Communists!

* What exactly is Glenn Beck planning to do at his Israeli rally?

* Rep. Paul Broun warns against dangerous strain of non-racism in TSA.

Tags: Anthony Weiner, Anthony Weiner's Penis, Books, Georgia, Glenn Beck, House of Representatives, Iowa, Israel, Jon Huntsman, Medicare, Mitt Romney, Paul Broun, Paul Ryan, Polls, Pork Barrel, Primaries, Racism, Republicans, Transportation, TSA