by Ilya Gerner
With the tragic departure of Tim Pawlenty from the GOP primary field, a nation’s bleary eyes must turn toward some other candidate who's capable of doubling as a natural sleep aid. Ladies and gentlemen, please try to contain yourselves: former governor George Pataki thinks he might be the man for the job…
He's pro-choice, pro-union and pro-gay marriage, so former Gov. George Pataki's plan to possibly join the red-meat pack vying for the GOP presidential nod drew puzzled looks Sunday. Those close to the three-term former governor said he was expected to enter the race for President, though no date has been set.
Yet those who served in Albany during Pataki's tenure said the 66-year-old potential candidate was out of step with the anti-government, anti-spending, socially conservative GOP of 2011.
Yeah, a Pataki candidacy makes perfect sense (to George Pataki). If the most moderate candidate in the Republican field is dismissed as insufficiently doctrinaire because he believes in this crazy thing called "science," then a pro-choice, climate-change-accepting, former governor of New York will fire up the Republican base about as well as a pack of wet matches.
Still, perhaps there is hope for the Pataki camp. He might have the charm of Tim Pawlenty and the policy credentials of Jon Huntsman, but he comes equipped with the most important attribute of all: an appreciation for tri-cornered hats, snorting horses and freedom. As you'll recall, this is the man behind Revere America, the organization dedicated to honoring Paul Revere's midnight ride against health care reform.
And if there's one thing we know about former GOP governors, it's that Paul Revere is always the right answer.
Tags: George Pataki, Paul Revere, Republicans
The only issue I take with this is that he left out the part where Revere is attacked wampa and dragged back to its ice cave.
Tags: Paul Revere, Poetry, Primaries, Republicans, Sarah Palin
From The CC Insider…
After getting the story of Paul Revere's midnight ride wrong, Sarah Palin has been treated like she tweeted a picture of her penis. But maybe she doesn't actually have a comically warped perception of American history. Maybe she just confused the truth with this scene from the upcoming Futurama episode All the Presidents' Heads that no one has ever seen.
Futurama's one-hour season premiere airs June 23 at 10/9c with two back-to-back new episodes! Then, starting June 30, the show will be part of "The Thurs-Dimension" with new episodes of Futurama at 10/9c followed by new episodes of Ugly Americans at 10:30/9:30c.
Tags: Futurama, Paul Revere, Primaries, Republicans, Sarah Palin
Hey, British! We're coming! Hey, British! We're coming! DING DONG! BANG BANG! Be ye prepared to not take our guns! DING DONG! BANG BANG!
Unfortunately, the patriotic changes to the Wikipedia page have not survived the scrubbing efforts of the lamestream fact-checking people, but here's screenshot-ographic proof that, if only for a brief period of time, those bells of freedom rang!
The Colbert Report airs Monday through Thursday at 11:30pm / 10:30c.
Tags: Paul Revere, Sarah Palin, Stephen Colbert, The Colbert Report, Video, Wikipedia
Last week, everybody was talking about Sarah Palin's unique take on American history in her recounting of Paul Revere's ride, which was supposedly intended to warn the British that the colonialists were going to beat their asses.
Even Fox News jumped into the fray and asked her about it, giving her a chance to hold fast to her story (which is all that any of us can really even ask for — who among us has use for a Sarah Palin who admits to mistakes)…
"You realize that you messed up about Paul Revere, don't you?" "Fox News Sunday" anchor Chris Wallace asked the potential 2012 presidential candidate.
"I didn't mess up about Paul Revere," replied Palin, a paid contributor to the network. "Part of his ride was to warn the British that were already there. That, hey, you're not going to succeed. You're not going to take American arms. You are not going to beat our own well-armed persons, individual, private militia that we have," she added. "He did warn the British."
Well, here's the funny thing! Sarah Palin was right! Kind of. Maybe. If you look at it from a certain angle at a certain time of day through a particular kind of fabric.
The point is, you can definitely kind of massage the facts to sort of fit what Sarah Palin kind of said…
Boston University history professor Brendan McConville said, "Basically when Paul Revere was stopped by the British, he did say to them, 'Look, there is a mobilization going on that you'll be confronting,' and the British are aware as they're marching down the countryside, they hear church bells ringing — she was right about that — and warning shots being fired. That's accurate."
Patrick Leehey of the Paul Revere House said Revere was probably bluffing his British captors, but reluctantly conceded that it could be construed as Revere warning the British. "I suppose you could say that," Leehey said. "But I don’t know if that’s really what Mrs. Palin was referring to."
McConville said he also is not convinced that Palin's remarks reflect scholarship. "I would call her lucky in her comments," McConville said.
Yay! She accidentally said something right! Maybe one day when she's president, she'll accidentally do something right. And then maybe we might all accidentally not die.
Photo by Shekhar Yadav/India Today Group/Getty Images
Tags: American Revolution, Chris Wallace, Education, Founding Fathers, Fox, Paul Revere, Sarah Palin