From the Pork Barrel: Barry Soetoro on Mars

* You know, I had never assumed that Barack Obama teleported to Mars back in the 1980s… until the White House denied it. Now I don't know what to think.

* Big Bird goes on the counteroffensive against Mitt Romney.

* "Nobody cares" about John McCain's endorsement of Mitt Romney, says guy who came in seventh place last night.

* Newt Gingrich fantasizes about double-teaming Mitt Romney with Rick Santorum.

Tags: Barack Obama, Conspiracies, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, PBS, Pork Barrel, Primaries, Republicans, Rick Santorum

From the Pork Barrel: Romney Is the Mitt

* The Republican frontrunner is finally the Republican frontrunner.

* Mitt Romney has taken a bold stance against Big Bird.

* Americans hate socialists, are lukewarm toward liberals and love progressives. I wonder how they feel about America-hating flag-burning drug-crazed hippies.

* The New York Times: Dangerously low levels of "schmoozing" detected in White House.

* Iowa pastors fear Christian voters will be faced with a veritable Sophie's Choice between Michele Bachmann.

Photo by Richard Ellis/Getty Images News/Getty Images

Tags: Barack Obama, Christianity, Iowa, Iowa Caucus, Liberals, Michele Bachmann, Mitt Romney, New York Times, PBS, Polls, Pork Barrel, Religion, Rick Santorum, Socialism