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Pete Hoekstra
  • GOP Improving National Security by Calling President Obama a Sissypants

    barack-obama-closeup-vertWhat are the odds that Republican leaders would use the Underbomber incident to suggest constructive changes to the nation's security systems? Mmhmm. And what are the odds that Republican leaders would use the Underbomber incident to illustrate the many, many ways in which Democrats are "soft on terror," which became the new "soft on crime" on or around 9/12/01?

    As the GOP seeks a path out of the political abyss in the 2010 elections, its leaders seem to be turning to the issue of terrorism, which worked for them in the 2002 congressional midterms and in President George W. Bush's 2004 reelection.

    "They just don't get it," Rep. Peter Hoekstra (Mich.), the ranking Republican on the House intelligence committee, wrote in a fundraising letter for his gubernatorial campaign. "These are the same weak-kneed liberals who have recently tried to bring Guantanamo Bay terrorists right here to Michigan!"

    Weak-kneed, not to mention "lily-livered" and "pants-wetting" and "arugula-hugging," am I right? But the best line of the GOP's War on War Rhetoric comes from Rep. Peter King, whose knees are made of fuckin' titanium…

    Even when Republicans agree with Obama, they find ways to characterize him as vacillating and indecisive. [...] "It's political schizophrenia," Rep. Peter T. King (N.Y.), the top Republican on the House Homeland Security Committee, said in an interview. "He seems almost awkward when he's talking about terrorism."

    I've noticed that, the way President Obama is always stuttering and blushing when the issue of terrorism comes up. Almost makes me miss that last president we had. He was never awkward when he talked about anything.

    Tags: Barack Obama, Democrats, Pete Hoekstra, Peter King, Republicans, Terrorism
  • Dick Cheney Still Being Secretive About His Top Secret Secrets

    Over the weekend the New York Times dropped this bombshell: Seems former vice president Dick Cheney had, for eight years, told insiders at the CIA to hide a "secret counterterrorism program" from, let's see here… everybody on earth.

    CIA chief Leon Panetta just found out about this thing a couple weeks ago, and he finally gave Congress the heads up, but even Leon Panetta won't/can't tell us what, precisely, Cheney's "secret counterterrorism program" entailed — though it was most likely part of an effort to kill Al Qaeda operatives. (Perhaps by draining their bodies of life-force before moving on to the next host?)

    So, um, anybody want to comment?

    Efforts to reach Mr. Cheney through relatives and associates were unsuccessful. [...] An intelligence agency spokesman, Paul Gimigliano, declined on Saturday to comment on the report of Mr. Cheney’s role. [...] Bill Harlow, a spokesman for George J. Tenet, who was the C.I.A. director when the unidentified program began, declined to comment on Saturday, noting that the program remained classified. [...] [Cheney's legal adviser David S.] Addington could not be reached for comment on Saturday.

    If I didn't know better, I might say that Rep. Pete Hoekstra (R-MI) sounds a bit frustrated…

    Mr. Hoekstra, the intelligence committee’s ranking Republican, said he would not judge the agency harshly in the case of the unidentified program, because it was not fully operational. But he said that in general, the agency had not been as forthcoming as the law required.

    “We have to pull the information out of them to get what we need,” Mr. Hoekstra said.

    Right! If only we had some sort of organized program for advanced interrogation techniques that are designed to extract critical information from high-level suspects.

    Oh, but what are the odds of that.

    Tags: CIA, Dick Cheney, Leon Panetta, New York Times, Pete Hoekstra
  • Pete Hoekstra Wins Twitter This Week

    I still don't quite understand why, but the Republicans have really latched onto the idea that if they just Twitter enough, they'll eventually convince all the kids that they're hip and stuff. So, they Twitter pretty much non-stop. And with that kind of Twitter activity — not to mention that kind of mentality — it's a statistical sure thing that they will provide us with unintentional comedy brilliance from time to time.

    Case in point, this tweet from Minnesota congressperson Pete Hoekstra

    Iranian twitter activity similar to what we did in House last year when Republicans were shut down in the House.

    The Internet — very much like Viking raiders laying waste to monasteries off the coast of the British isles — was went on the offensive

    rebeccarose2004: @petehoekstra You know, I stubbed my toe today. Now I know what Joan of Arc felt like.

    RevCyn: @petehoekstra – When I got to McDonald's I found my coupon for fries had expired. It was like the great Irish potato famine.

    wendyow: @petehoekstra: had to share a limo w Cantor & Boener on the way to Fox. Now I know what it's like being shipped by cattle car to Auchwitz.

    stryder619: @petehoekstra I sat in a meeting as work today. Reminded me of Slavery

    blanket: Hey @petehoekstra The neighbor kid threw his frisbee at my window. It felt like 9/11 all over again.

    Talking Points Memo has its list of favorites.

    As does Tosh.0.

    Tags: House of Representatives, Iran, Minnesota, Pete Hoekstra, Republicans, Twitter
  • Michele Bachmann Wants to Ban European Unicorn Porn

    The list of Shit That's Never Going to Happen is long and mostly filled with fun stuff like hoverboards and genetically modified spinach that tastes like donuts, so it was nice to see The Daily Show add a few dumb things to the list like a one-world currency and the UN spanking-court.

    The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11pm / 10c.

    Tags: House of Representatives, Jon Stewart, Michele Bachmann, Pete Hoekstra, The Daily Show, United Nations, Video