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Piers Morgan
  • Piers Morgan Asks Rick Santorum If He's a Bigot

    Can we all just please bask in the hazy warmth of Rick Santorum's indefensible arguments against marriage equality — not to mention the illogical byzantine arguments for just the one kind of abortion that he and his family used and no others — just a few more times before he is boxed up and shipped off to the Warehouse of Failed Presidential Campaigns? Please!

    Thank you.

    Tags: Abortion, Catholic Church, Christianity, CNN, LGBT, Marriage, Piers Morgan, Religion, Rick Santorum
  • Jon Huntsman Would Hold His Nose to Be Bachmann VP

    Piers Morgan plays the presidential campaign equivalent of "Eff, Marry, Kill" with Jon Huntsman in a CNN interview that airs this week. In addition to talking some shizz on Mitt Romney and Rick Perry, Huntsman allows that he would run as vice president on the Michele Bachmann ticket if asked.

    Not because he likes her or anything, ew, you guys — it's just because he loves our country so freakin' much, okay?

    But he didn't close the door to possibly serving as running mate to Bachmann, saying "if you love this country, you serve this country. Every time I've been asked to serve over different administrations, from Reagan to the two Bushes, to President Obama, I have the same, the same answer, and that is if you love this country, you serve her. And so, you know, if you're in a position to better the country, to bring whatever background you have to bear, whatever experiences to use in fine-tuning our future, I'll be the first person to sign up, absolutely."

    But Huntsman seemed to downplay his answer, adding that "this is a hypothetical conversation. And I give you more or less a hypothetical answer."

    Just get off his back, okay, Piers? You're the one who invited him over for this dumb sleepover. Jon Huntsman thought you guys were just gonna have some fun playing "Light as a Feather, Stiff as a Board" or maybe, like, busting out the Ouija board and contacting the ghosts of your great-great grandparents.

    This is the crappiest party game Jon Huntsman has been forced into since Don Lemon made him play "Never Have I Ever."

    Photo by Joe Raedle/Getty Images News/Getty Images

    Tags: CNN, Jon Huntsman, Michele Bachmann, Piers Morgan, Primaries, Republicans
  • Christine O'Donnell Will Not Just Sit Here and Answer Questions About Her Stated Opinions

    How rude! These British people, I'm telling you!

    Look! Former senatorial candidate and Tea Party heroine Christine O'Donnell was nice enough to put off attending a Republican Women's function or something so that CNN's Piers Morgan could shoot her a few questions about her new book Trouble Maker, and he has to go and ask her a bunch of questions about stuff that's inside the book.

    No! No, Piers Morgan! That's not how you conduct an interview! You can ask questions about the photograph on the cover. When was it taken and was she smiling about how much she loves America, for example. You can ask about the paper weight. The font. The kerning. But you cannot ask questions about things she wrote in the book concerning gay marriage! That kind of low-blow journalism might play over there in Merry Old England, but not here in Teamerica!

    Just look at this travesty of journalism…

    Shameful! Utterly shameful!

    What is it about putting out a book full of the things that you think that makes people want to talk about the things that you think? It just doesn't make any sense.

    Tags: Books, Christine O’Donnell, CNN, LGBT, Marriage Equality, Piers Morgan, Tea Party