Obama's "Arrrrrrr!!!" Moment

The president celebrates International Talk Like a Pirate Day. But if you think it's the first time he's met with people in costume, think again.

"Jobs can wait. Can't you see I'm in a meeting here?"

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Tags: Barack Obama, Pirates

Tweet Untweet: SOTU Smokescreen

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Tags: Barack Obama, Military, Pirates, Somalia, State of the Union, Tweet Untweet, Twitter

At Least Barack Obama's Stop Offline Piracy Act Is Working

Last night as Barack Obama stepped into the House chambers to deliver the State of the Union, he pointed to Defense Secretary Leon Panetta standing in the crowd and said, "Leon, good job tonight, good job tonight."

What could the president have possibly meant by this bit of coded Saul Alinskyite communication?

U.S. special forces swooped into Somalia on Wednesday and rescued an American and a Dane after a shootout with pirates holding them hostage, in a rare raid into the Horn of Africa nation to free foreign captives. The aid workers, American Jessica Buchanan and Dane Poul Hagen Thisted, were kidnapped from the town of Galkayo in the semi-autonomous Galmudug region in October while working for the Danish De-mining Group (DDG).

"This is yet another message to the world that the United States of America will stand strongly against any threats to our people," U.S. President Barack Obama said in a statement.

Man, why does the president keep apologizing for America? If we keep on apologizing at this rate, we're going to need to open more munitions plants, instead of the tire factories that we were promised last night.

There's also an important lesson here for foreign travelers. When going to a dangerous region, do yourself a favor and bring along an American. Preferably, a white, photogenic, female American, but almost anyone with a U.S. passport will do in a pinch. If you get in trouble, Navy SEALs will come and apologize for your ass the way they have for 50 years — with helicopters and assault rifles.

Photo by John Moore/Getty Images News/Getty Images

Tags: Barack Obama, Foreign Policy, Leon Panetta, Pirates, Somalia

No Wonder He's So Intent on Getting His Hands on Our Booty

Turns out he's not Kenyan after all.

He's Somalian!

Tags: Barack Obama, Pirates, Stanley Ann Dunham

Barack Obama Enters into Diplomatic Negotiations with Somalia

It's bad enough that President Obama is willing to sit down and talk with hostile nations like Iran, but this is simply going too far…

Why doesn't he just hand over all our national booty now and get it over with?

Tags: Barack Obama, Pirates, Somalia