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  • Barack Obama Has a 75 Percent Approval Rating (with Foreigners Who Don't Matter Because They're Foreigners)

    In a different country that was not like America at all in any way shape or form, news that your President was highly regarded in the rest of the world might be viewed as a good thing.

    But that's why countries like those are not to be trusted

    A survey on European and American attitudes toward each other — released by Transatlantic Trends, a D.C.-based think tank — found that 75 percent of those surveyed in 12 European Union countries approved of Obama on international affairs, while the same survey found only 54 percent of U.S. citizens would say the same thing…

    The think tank found Obama's approval rating on international politics to be highest in Western Europe countries like Portugal (82 percent), the Netherlands (81 percent), Germany (81 percent), and Italy (79 percent)–nations that strongly opposed the War in Iraq and for which Obama offers a stark contrast to that war's president, George W. Bush.. The lowest ratings in the EU came from Eastern and Central European republics like Slovakia (58 percent), Bulgaria (63 percent), and Poland (65 percent), former Warsaw Bloc nations leery of Obama's opening of relations with Russia.

    If Barack Obama is so popular with those European people, why doesn't he just go be President of Europistan or whatever that country's called?

    Photo by Dominic Lipinski-WPA Pool/Getty Images News/Getty Images

    Tags: Barack Obama, Europe, Germany, Italy, Poland, Polls, Portugal, Russia
  • World Cup Fever: The Excitement Is Highly Communicable!

    So, I'm sure by now, everyone's heard the big news about the U.S. team beating the Carthaginians One-to-Love in yesterday's match. Finally! It's nice to see the Americans dominate another country once in a while. And this should also knock that egomaniac Hannibal down a peg or two. (Doubt he'll be invading Washington D.C. mounted atop an armored pachyderm elephant anytime soon.)

    So, what you're probably asking is: What are the big games that I should be paying attention to in the next few days, goddamnit?!?! Relax, dude. Relax. I got them right here…

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    Tags: Algeria, Brazil, Germany, Ghana, New England, Portugal, Soccer, Sports