The year is 1856. Republican Sen. Charles Sumner of Massachusetts is unleashing a torrent of invective snark, directed at absent colleague Democratic Sen. Andrew Butler of South Carolina, mocking him as having "a mistress, who, though ugly to others, is always lovely to him; though polluted in the sight of the world, is chaste in his sight. I mean, the harlot, Slavery."
Two days later, Butler’s nephew, Rep. Preston Brooks — also of South Carolina — approached Sumner while he was busying himself with paperwork at his desk on the Senate floor, and proceeded to beat the ever loving shit out of him with his gold-headed heavy wooden cane until it broke in two while fellow South Carolina congressperson held Sumner's would-be rescuers at bay with a pistol.
Sumner spent the next three years recovering, while the incident helped push the United States toward a Civil War, ultimately decimating the landscape and economy of Brooks' precious South.
Tags: Charles Sumner, Civil War, House of Representatives, Preston Brooks, Senate, Slavery, Snark Week
Now that the universities are closing down and their students are being set loose upon the nation's beach town, please don't forget that our nation's capitol, Washington D.C. — scenically located along the eastern banks of the Potomac River — which kind of makes it a beach town. A kind of swampy-ish beach town, but a beach town none the less. So, in a way, it's the perfect Spring Break destination. Cabo San Lucas ain't got nothing on D.C. as far as crazy party antics go. For example…
Bill Clinton gets some from Monica Lewinsky
Don't even front like you've never been there. You know how it goes. If it's late enough at night and no one else is around, you sometimes find yourself going a little further with friends and co-workers than you thought you would. It happens, dude. It happens! You just gotta move on with your life and hope that the other person doesn't go blabbing to her friends.
And that none of her friends will go secretly recording the details of what happened between you and her and then hand the tapes off to some guy who's been trying to get you fired for years. Cause that could totally ruin your week. Not to mention get you impeached by the U.S. House of Representatives.
And nothing busts up a Spring Break drinking binge like a federal impeachment.
Tags: Bill Clinton, Charles Sumner, Drugs, House of Representatives, Marion Barry, Monica Lewinsky, Preston Brooks, Richard Nixon, Senate, United Kingdom, Washington DC