Latest Posts

  • Michael Steele, RNC Raise a Very Good Point About This Made-Up, Nonsensical, Pretend Issue

    Oh no! Just when I thought it was safe to not be afraid of health care reform for a second, along comes this highly plausible conspiracy theory from an RNC questionnaire officially sanctioned by Michael Steele (which, of course, makes it extra plausible)…

    The RNC argues that under health care reform proposals, the government could check voter registration, "prompting fears that GOP voters might be discriminated against for medical treatment in a Democrat-imposed healthcare rationing system." The questionnaire goes on to ask: "Does this possibility concern you?"

    Yes, that possibility does concern me. But not as much as the possibility that all Democratic elected officials are not actually people, but pigs wearing people costumes and at night they climb out of their fake human skin and dance around by the light of the moon and that eventually they will collect all of us real people and roast us on a pit with delicious BBQ sauce.

    That's probably maybe my biggest concern. But the thing about denying health care is definitely a close second.

    Tags: Health Care, Michael Steele, Propaganza, Republicans, RNC
  • Dick Cheney's Fetid Pissoir Interviewed on Fox News Sunday

    Oh Em Gee! Did you hear? Dick Cheney was interviewed by Chris Wallace on Fox News Sunday this past Sunday on Fox News. Now, I haven't watched it yet — because I have better things to do on a Sunday morning than punch myself in the face — but based upon some of the reviews I'm reading, it seems like it's the best Dick Cheney infomercial yet.

    Anyway, the reason I even bring it up at all is to point out this bit from Jason Linkins' liveblog of the interview which brought a small glimmer of happiness into my otherwise dark and moribund existence…

    Cheney seems to have a massive phlegmball lodged in his throat. JUST COUGH UP THE LAST SLIVER OF YOUR CONSCIENCE ALREADY, DICK! Let it go free! Let it wander the plains. Let it take us residence with the mighty buffalo, or the heroic eagle! Don't just keep choking it back, back, back down into the fetid pissoir you call your body cavity!


    Tags: Andrew Sullivan, Chris Wallace, Dick Cheney, Fox, Propaganza
  • GOP's Behind the Death Panels

    You didn't think a term like "death panel" pulled itself out of its own ass, did you?

    Tags: Health Care, Propaganza, Sarah Palin
  • Rush Limbaugh Wants Barack Obama's Hands Off His Penis

    I'm sorry. Did that headline traumatize you? Writing something like that about Rush Limbaugh's penis without explanation is a little bit like slapping you in the face with Rush Limbaugh's penis without explanation. Or something.

    That was kind of a terrible analogy. Kind of as terrible as being forced to visualize taking Rush Limbaugh's penis into your hands and gently cutting away the soft, folded mucous membrane that covers the tip of Rush Limbaugh's penis.

    Sorry again. (I'm really bad at this.)

    Anyway, here's the thing: The CDC (or Centers for Disease Control and Prevention for short) is considering recommending circumcision for male infants as well as adult men as a means of reducing the spread of HIV (Human Immunodeficiency Virus for short). And you know what that means, right?

    Oh, you don't know what that means? Well, I'll bet Ed Morrissey from Hot Air knows what that means

    Why should the CDC push circumcision at all?¬† The government has no business being in the middle of that decision.¬† Under ObamaCare, however, when the government starts paying more and more of the health-care tab, they will point to ambiguous cost savings down the road — in this and other cases, decades down the road — to pressure Americans into surrendering their choices now.

    That's right. The upper-most point on a slippery slope that will inevitably lead to government-mandated castration!*

    And since it's common knowledge that conservative media folk only think in hives, we can pretty much guess that a penis theft panic — such as one one would find in a third-world country — is the new hysterical meme going out across the right-wing talking point wire.

    And, if that's the case, it's just a matter of time before

    Rush Limbaugh claimed, "It is President Obama who wants [to] mandate circumcision … And that means, if we need to save our penises from anybody, it's Obama."

    Hence the title of this post.

    And… scene.


    * Your point is well-taken, Jacob. Consider that joke reworded.

    Tags: Barack Obama, Health Care, Propaganza, Rush Limbaugh
  • Secret Origins: The Hidden Identity of the Guy Who Made That One Picture That You Always See All Over the Place Lately, You know the One I'm Talking About, Don't You?

    You know how you've been completely unable to sleep these past few weeks, so consumed you've been with the mystery of who is behind those Obama is the socialist Heath Ledger posters?

    Well, put on your sleeping cap and your sleeping cuff links, because mystery solved!

    Firas Alkhateeb, a senior history major at the University of Illinois, crafted the picture of Obama with the recognizable clown makeup using Adobe's Photoshop¬†software…

    Using a tutorial he'd found online about how to "Jokerize" portraits, he downloaded the October 23 Time Magazine cover of Obama and began digitally painting over it.

    Firas Alkhateeb? I don't know, man. That's kind of a terroristy-sounding name. I'm not sure how I feel about the creator of the defining image of the conservative movement having a name that sounds like his family originally came from some other country.

    Well, at least we know he hates socialism. So, he can't be all bad. ('Cause all those Middle Eastern countries are socialist, right? "Socialism" means "evil," doesn't it?)

    [A] still-anonymous rogue famously found his image, digitally removed the references to Time Magazine, captioned the picture with the word "socialism" and hung printed copies around L.A., making headlines.

    "It really doesn't make any sense to me at all," he said. "To accuse him of being a socialist is really… immature. First of all, who said being a socialist is evil?"

    Aw, man. This guy is certainly no Joe the Plumber, I'll tell you that.

    But, at the very least. We know that he likes mocking the president, so he's gotta be a good conservative. (Maybe we can salvage something here.)

    "I think he's definitely doing better than Bush was," Alkhateeb said of Obama. Alkhateeb's views on foreign relations align with the Democrats, he said, while he prefers Republican ideals on domestic issues…

    Alkhateeb's assessment of Obama: "In terms of domestic policy, I don't think he's really doing much good for the country right now," he said. "We don't have to 'hero worship' the guy."

    If he had to choose a politician to support, Alkhateeb said, it would be Ohio Democratic Rep. Dennis Kucinich.

    Ah, fuck this. Let's check out Fox News. Maybe Glenn Beck is crying again.

    Tags: Barack Obama, Dennis Kucinich, Illinois, Movies, Propaganza, Socialism