It's hard out in California for a bigot…
Chief U.S. District Judge Vaughn R. Walker on Thursday rejected a request to delay his decision striking down Proposition 8 from taking effect until high courts can take up an appeal lodged by its supporters. One of the reasons, the judge said, is he's not sure the proponents have the authority to appeal since they would not be affected by or responsible for implementing his ruling…
The ban's backers "point to harm resulting from a 'cloud of uncertainty' surrounding the validity of marriages performed after judgment is entered but before proponents' appeal is resolved," he said. "Proponents have not, however, argued that any of them seek to wed a same-sex spouse."
Seems that there's an easy fix for this problem. Obviously, one of them is going to have to wed a same-sex spouse. To save the country from gay marriage, Maggie Gallagher is gonna have to gay marry Phyllis Schlafly or something. There's just no way around it.
Tags: California, Maggie Gallagher, National Organization for Marriage, Phyllis Schlafly, Proposition 8, Vaughn Walker
Cal Thomas — who, according to Cal Thomas, is "America's #1 nationally syndicated columnist" — is very sad that Federal Judge Vaughn Walker found California's Prop 8 to be unconstitutional. He's also really sad that women are allowed to have legal rights over their own bodies. Not to mention how inconsolably sad he is that the Bible (or at least his own personal interpretation of it) is not observed as federal law.
Oh, there are just so many things that he's terribly terribly sad about — as evidenced by the ululating lamentations in his column new article charmingly titled "Vigilante Law" — such as: Supreme Court justices getting to make decisions, God not smiting us down fast enough, people having sex, gay people getting to have important jobs, and overt bigotry falling out of fashion…
"No less a theological thinker than Abraham Lincoln concluded that our Civil War might have been God's judgment for America’s toleration of slavery. If that were so, why should 'the Almighty,' as Lincoln frequently referred to God, stay His hand in the face of our celebration of same-sex marriage?
"There is more than one way to experience bankruptcy. America under the Obama administration is on the verge of economic insolvency, and now Judge Vaughn Walker has joined a conga line of similarly activist judges who are accelerating us down the path to destruction.
"We have been spiraling downward for some time, beginning in the '50s with the Playboy philosophy that gave men permission to avoid the bonds of marriage if they wanted to have sex. In rapid succession came the birth control pill (sex without biological consequences), 'no-fault divorce' (nullifying 'until death us do part'), cohabitation, easily available pornography, and a tolerance for just about anything except those who deem something intolerable. Such persons are now labeled 'bigots' when once they were thought to be pillars of society."
Oh, yeah! "Pillars of society"! Whatever happened to those them? Remember those "pillars of society" who screamed racial epithets at children, used the National Guard to block the entrance of schools or simply closed schools down rather than sit quietly and watch as black children and white children co-mingled while learning their times tables? Or, how about those "pillars of society" who took it upon themselves to mete out moral justice by beating homosexuals to death for the crime of being homosexuals? And what about those "pillars of society" who stonewalled legislation that would have given women the same rights as regular people? They sure were some "pillars of society," weren't they?
(via Dan Savage)
Tags: Abortion, Abraham Lincoln, Barack Obama, Constitution, Economy, LGBT, Marriage Equality, Proposition 8, Religion, Sex, Supreme Court, The Bible, Vaughn Walker
Last week, after Federal Judge Vaughn Walker finding that California's Prop 8 law violates the U.S. Constitution, Stephen Colbert took the news and knocked it out of the softball park for lesbian softball players with this helpful segment…
How to Ruin Same-Sex Marriages
Is it constitutional to gay marry a video clip? I'm not sure. Should we check with all of these other great Colbert gay marriage videos after the jump?
The Colbert Report airs Monday through Thursday at 11:30pm / 10:30c.
Tags: California, Constitution, LGBT, Marriage Equality, Proposition 8, Stephen Colbert, The Colbert Report, Vaughn Walker, Video, Washington
Enjoy life as you know it while it lasts, my fellow straight people, for soon we will be forced to endure the unimaginably horrific dystopia of two dudes that you don't know buying each other rings and fighting over floral centerpieces. My mind is bending toward insanity at the mere thought of it…
After the jump, Stephen Colbert reveals his flawless plan for us heterosexuals to ruin gay people's marriages the same way they're ruining our heterosexual marriages with their gay marriage-having.
Tags: CNN, Constitution, Economy, Elena Kagan, Family Research Council, Fox, Jon Stewart, LGBT, Maggie Gallagher, Marriage Equality, National Organization for Marriage, Neil Cavuto, Proposition 8, Rick Sanchez, Ronald Reagan, Sarah Palin, Stephen Colbert, The Colbert Report, The Daily Show, Tony Perkins, Vaughn Walker, Video
So, the homosexuals get to have their miserable marriages for a few weeks or months or whatever, in California. What we're all really wondering is: What does Arab-hatin' former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich think of this?
Oh, hey, look, he's babbling about it on his website!
"Judge Walker's ruling overturning Prop 8 is an outrageous disrespect for our Constitution and for the majority of people of the United States who believe marriage is the union of husband and wife. In every state of the union from California to Maine to Georgia, where the people have had a chance to vote they've affirmed that marriage is the union of one man and one woman. Congress now has the responsibility to act immediately to reaffirm marriage as a union of one man and one woman as our national policy. "
That's great and all, but something seems to be missing. Hmmmm…What could it be? Oh, yes! A random, possibly gay-baiting attack on Elena Kagan!
"Today’s notorious decision also underscores the importance of the Senate vote tomorrow on the nomination of Elena Kagan to the Supreme Court because judges who oppose the American people are a growing threat to our society."
You know, it's so great that the gays have a noble hetero like Newt Gingrich to tell them what to do. Who is a better expert on the sacredness of heterosexual marriage than a jerk who has been married three times? The first time was when he was 19, to his 26-year-old former high school geometry teacher! Hahaha, that's not creepy at all! Also, that particular ex-wife says he visited her in the hospital as she was recovering from cancer surgery in order to discuss their divorce.
Then there was the next gal. He married her six months after the first marriage was done. They stayed together for awhile, until he started fucking a woman 23 years his junior during, haha, the Clinton/Lewinsky investigation! It is adorable that Newt Gingrich, this human slimebucket, would spend most of his time talking shit about the president's infidelity while secretly shtupping some random who wasn't his wife. He's so wacky and unpredictable, that Newt!
Now he is married to the random and is probably going to run for President in 2012, and also he hates gay marriage. What will Newt's fourth wife have to say about all this?
Tags: California, Elena Kagan, LGBT, Marriage Equality, Newt Gingrich, Proposition 8, Republicans, Supreme Court