Jon Stewart on The Vatican's Latest Sex Scandals

On last night's Daily Show, Jon Stewart reported on a recently uncovered gay prostitution ring at The Vatican and allegations that Pope Benedict XVI covered up a molesting priest in Germany. Just when you start thinking the US Congress is the world's biggest den of closeted homosexuality and sexual abuse, the Catholic Church chimes in to remind us that they're The Yankees to Congress's Bad News Bears.

The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11pm / 10c.

Tags: Abortion, Catholic Church, Corruption, Jon Stewart, Patrick Kennedy, Pope Benedict XVI, Prostitution, Sex, The Daily Show, Vatican, Video

Colbert Pimps Out Sean Hannity

As you may have heard, it was recently revealed that James O'Keefe had doctored those infamous ACORN videos. When he was the toast of the conservative media, O'Keefe had been aggressively championed by Sean Hannity, but the Fox host has been mum since the activist's exposure as a fraud. So on last night's Colbert Report, Stephen decided to sit down with some doctored video of Hannity and get to the bottom of things.

Personally, I'm just really glad to see a whore on Hannity's show again. I miss Alan Colmes.

The Colbert Report airs Monday through Thursday at 11:30pm / 10:30c.

Tags: ACORN, Alan Colmes, Fox, James O'Keefe, Prostitution, Sean Hannity, Stephen Colbert, The Colbert Report, Video

Colbert Interviews Eliot Spitzer

On last night's Colbert Report, Eliot Spitzer made his first appearance on the show since the prostitution scandal that ended his Governorship. Now, obviously, there's an impulse to make cheap hooker jokes. After all, he's now a banking expert; the fucking-people-for-money zingers practically make themselves. But come on, there's a lot more to Eliot Spitzer than that. For example, he's bald.

The Colbert Report airs Monday through Thursday at 11:30pm / 10:30c.

Tags: Banks, Ben Bernanke, Economy, Eliot Spitzer, New York, Prostitution, Stephen Colbert, The Colbert Report, Video, Wall Street

Laura Ingraham Did Not Call Nancy Pelosi a Cheap Whore

What, can't a right-wing talk show host mention the Speaker of the House and the phrase "sell her own body" in the same sentence? Is there a "hooker references panel" now too?

Come on. Everybody settle down. Let's look at what Laura Ingraham really said this morning…

Speaking on FOX, Ingraham announced that the speaker did everything but "sell her own body" to win the 220-to-215 vote.

"I mean Nancy Pelosi did everything but sell her own body to get this bill passed… She did everything, everything was on the table. So she had to swallow the bitter bill of the Stupak amendment otherwise this thing wouldn't have passed."

Look, there it is in black and white. Laura Ingraham said Nancy Pelosi did everything but sell her own body to pass the health care bill. That means Laura Ingraham knows Nancy Pelosi did not offer $10 blowjobs in the back of the cloakroom in order to win Blue Dog votes. She absolutely did not do that!

Who would suggest such a terrible thing, anyway?

Boy, some people have filthy minds.

Tags: Fox, Health Care, House of Representatives, Laura Ingraham, Nancy Pelosi, Prostitution

Prostitution Expert David Vitter Fights Funding for Prostitution Experts ACORN

In recent weeks lawmakers have been extremely busy with the extremely important task of defunding ACORN, but sometimes things, like sacks of money or lawmakers' genitalia, "slip through the cracks."

So it was that $1 million in Homeland Security grant funding wound up going to ACORN's office in Louisiana, where one Senator was standing by to be outraged…

[The ACORN grant] was one of only three such grants issued to the state and made up almost 80 percent of the firefighting money earmarked for Louisiana, prompting one of the U.S. senators from the state to demand that the funds be taken back.

"I request that you rescind this grant based on a history of abuse of federal dollars by ACORN and their clear lack of expertise in this area," said Sen. David Vitter, Louisiana Republican.

Obvious solution that doesn't involve the hassle of canceling a check: simply inform ACORN Louisiana that they must use the grant to fund prostitution training programs, because this plays to their expertise, and also because — as far as David Vitter is concerned — this is not necessarily an "abuse of federal dollars," assuming the prostitutes follow up by killing themselves.

Tags: ACORN, David Vitter, Louisiana, Prostitution