* So, Jon Huntsman apparently "dropped out of high school to join a prog rock band called Wizard." That, however, made him feel like too much of an outcast, so he instead decided to run for president as a pro-science Republican.
* Turns out Michele Bachmann's God is talking to us through earthquakes and hurricanes comment from this past weekend was just a hilarious totally characteristic joke. Also, everything she has ever said ever was just a joke.
* For the first time in 112 years, nobody from the White House will be attending the Veterans of Foreign Wars national convention, possibly due to scheduling conflicts, but probably because Obama hates America.
* Totally straight Republican senator turns out to be gay in shocking twist!
Photo by Joe Raedle/Getty Images News/Getty Images
Tags: Barack Obama, Haggard's Law, Jon Huntsman, LGBT, Michele Bachmann, Music, Natural Disasters, Pork Barrel, Puerto Rico, Religion, Republicans, Senate, Veterans
It's kind of crazy to think that a U.S. President hasn't visited Puerto Rico since the JFK administration. I mean, just think about it. That's almost as long as it's been since one of them visited Delaware…
Coverage continues with Senior Latino Correspondent Al Madrigal after the jump.
The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11/10c.
Tags: Al Madrigal, Barack Obama, John Kennedy, Jon Stewart, Puerto Rico, The Daily Show, Video
Yesterday, Congress voted 223-169 to allow the Commonwealth of Puerto Rico to have some say over what part it will play in the United States' fortunes in the future. Should it become the 51st state? Or become a sovereign nation? Or should it remain, uh, whatever it is right now?
The bill approved by the House would set up a two-step process: First up, a vote to decide whether Puerto Rico should stay a commonwealth. If most voters want something else, a second ballot would offer a choice among independence, statehood, the status of being sovereign but still associated with the United States, or remaining a commonwealth after all.
I think they should become a state. Or that they maybe shouldn't. Or that I maybe don't know. Is that helpful at all, Puerto Rico? Am I contributing to the discourse?
Currently, Puerto Rico — which came under American control in 1898 following the Spanish-American War — is a commonwealth, with its roughly 4 million residents United States citizens and eligible to serve in the military. Puerto Ricans also have a non-voting delegate to Congress, do not vote in the general election for president and do not pay federal income taxes on wages earned in Puerto Rico.
So, in exchange for having no voting member of Congress representing their interests, the citizens of Puerto Rico pay no federal income tax? About half the U.S. currently has nobody in Congress looking out for their interests. Or worse! A lot of them have members of Congress actively working against their interests. (Paging, Sen. McCain.) And they're paying for that?
Well, shit! Isn't this what the whole Tea Party thing is ostensibly* about? Having no say in government and too many taxes? Why don't all the Teabaggers just move to Puerto Rico and stop paying in to The Fed?
Oh, wait. I know why.
Tags: House of Representatives, Puerto Rico, Taxes, Tea Party
I'll tell you something. They do politics real exciting-like down there in Florida…
Raul Martinez and state Democrats at a Miami press conference today looked to tie [Republican Florida Congressperson] Lincoln Diaz-Balart to Puerto Rican senator Jorge de Castro Font, who was arrested by the FBI.
Dems charge that de Castro Font has "implicated" Diaz-Balart by alleging to "have traveled to Miami with Congressman Luis Fortuño of Puerto Rico to deliver a suitcase full of cash for Diaz-Balart's re-election campaign." The money was allegedly from a prominent PR family.
A suitcase full of cash, you say? Hmmm… Interesting.
Were the two Puerto Rican legislators wearing fake mustachios and big thick glasses at the time? Were they talking in jaunty British accents and effecting limps? And how did the manage to keep their prosthetic Heidelberg dueling scars in place for the whole plane ride?
Really, what the fuck is this all about? First of all, how does a suitcase full of cash make it into the continental United States these days? I can't even manage to smuggle a can of deodorant past the security people.
Second of all, doesn't Senator de Castro Font know that when they catch you, you're supposed to bite down on the cyanide pill embedded in your molar? Come on! What a frickin' amateur!
Now, he's just forcing Rep. Diaz-Balart to chainsaw him. I mean, what else can Diaz-Balart do? His back's against a wall.
Tags: Florida, House of Representatives, Puerto Rico, Senate
As expected, Hillary Clinton tonight won the primary in non-state Puerto Rico. As everyone not affiliated with the Clinton campaign has pointed out, this totally expected win changes absolutely nothing about the campaign.
We, however, were watching the MTV Movie Awards because, well, you know. Anyway Lindsay Lohan and P. Diddy (someone correct me if he has a more recent name please) did this bit where they were fighting over who should announce the winner of "Best Breakthrough Performance." P. Diddy pointed out that it would be the firs time a black man announced the winner, and Lindsay Lohan pointed out that she was a woman and… sigh. You see where this is going. If you don't I'll give you a hint: P. Diddy said "Yes we can!" at the end of every line. Got it?
Anyway, Lohan ended up actually saying the name of the winner. I guess this means that Hillary Clinton just won the coveted MTV Movie Awards endorsement.
Also Verne Troyer was there. I guess he was McCain.
Tags: Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, John McCain, MTV, Puerto Rico