The election is over and we either did it or didn't do it, depending on what you wanted done. But now we have to do it more. Do what? Whatever it takes. God bless America. Let the healing begin.
Democrats: With President Obama's win, you have the challenging job of fixing the economy, but for realsies this time. And no more whining. It's time to get to work. That's the stuff people get paid to do. No, not being unemployed. The opposite of that. That's a joke, Democrats.
Republicans: You, on the other hand, have been working way too hard to keep Democrats from working. You've been too serious. Take the year off and go find yourselves, guys. Backpack through Europe. Tell France the Democrats say hi and they can't wait for them to see what they're gonna to do to this place. That's a joke, Republicans.
The country may be divided like two pieces of bread right now, but we still have the cheese that holds the bread together, and that cheese is a sense of humor. In the spirit of non-partisan laughter, I give you the final head-to-head liberal-vs.-conservative Twitter battle after the jump…
Tags: Barack Obama, Democrats, Mitt Romney, RAAL, Republicans
Welcome to week 9 of RAAL, the only place on the internet where your opinion actually matters. In last week's election, we put a liberal joke up against a conservative joke, and by a clear margin, the liberal joke won. Part of the reason was because one person voted twice. Some of you may think that's fraudulent, but I don't know how to count or what fraudulent means. Congrats to Laet Oliveira, AKA @LaetPO!
As this election season winds down, both Democrats and Republicans are getting more serious. But not here. This is a safe place where you can still laugh at yourself and your opponent. Take a look at the jokes below and vote as often as you like in the comments section.
IN THE LEFT CORNER
Paul Ryan plans to help the hurricane relief effort by cleaning up in unaffected areas.
— MJ (@sucittaM) October 29, 2012
IN THE RIGHT CORNER
When my daughter sees me eating something she wants, she squeals at me and holds both hands out. It's so cute. She's like a tiny Democrat!
— DisrespectfulDenizen (@UpperLowerClass) October 28, 2012
Tags: Conservatives, Liberals, RAAL
It's week 8 of Rolling Across the Aisle Laughing. We only have a couple more weeks until the election. Are you ready to vote? Have you even registered? If not, don't worry. You can just post your political opinions all over Facebook. That counts too.
Last week's toe-to-toe slugfest ended up being a draw. Conan O'Brien got one vote because he is Coco, and the other got one vote because it was written by a human with mammary glands. Guys, I think we can do better. This week I've chosen a couple of non-celebrities without boobs in the hopes it will make you more objective and less objectifying…
Tags: Conservatives, Democrats, RAAL, Republicans
Here we are at week 7 of Rolling Across the Aisle Laughing. Time flies during an election year. Why, it seems only last week that we had a decisive RAAL victory on the left, so congratulations Erin Gibson (@gibbletron).
If you didn't experiment with bipartisanship in college, now is a great time to see how the other team plays. This week's jokes are going to have you laughing harder than a split-screen Joe Biden. Please vote in the comments section!
IN THE LEFT CORNER
Mitt Romney once invested in the Yankees. Which finally explains the time the Yankees tried to trade Alex Rodriguez to China.
— Conan O'Brien (@ConanOBrien) October 14, 2012
IN THE RIGHT CORNER
I went and saw "Seven Psychopaths" and was surprised it wasn't a movie about Obama, Biden, Pelosi, Reid, Debbie WS, Clinton, & Axerod.
— ʇɹɐʍǝʇs ɐuoɯɐɹ (@ramonastewart) October 15, 2012
Tags: Conservatives, Democrats, Liberals, RAAL, Republicans
Week 6 of Rolling Across the Aisle Laughing is going to be a hoot. Last week, I think Frank Conniff won! The only reason I'm unsure is because some voters said it wasn't fair to use Dennis Miller because people hate him. Others said it isn't fair for people choose one person's joke over another's based on personal preference. I don't think it's fair that everyone with a computer has a keyboard, but that's life. This country isn't about apologies or fairness. It's about laughing at ourselves and our opponents equally or not at all.
Here are this week's contenders. Vote in the comments section for the one you like best.
By the way, if you come across a great partisan joke next week, feel free to email the link to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Tags: Conservatives, Democrats, Liberals, Mitt Romney, PBS, RAAL, Republicans