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Rahm Emanuel
  • All Hail Mayor Rahm Emanuel, All-Powerful Ruler of Chicago

    As a Chicago resident, I for one welcome our new 9.5-fingered overlord

    Rahm Emanuel, a top adviser to two U.S. presidents who returned to Chicago just months ago, swept into the mayor's office Tuesday, inheriting a city reeling from recession and promising to reshape City Hall.

    He achieved what was once considered almost unthinkable, collecting a majority of support against five opponents in the first Chicago election without a sitting mayor on the ballot since 1947…

    Emanuel amassed 55.2 percent with 99.5 percent of city precincts counted, above the 50 percent-plus benchmark he needed to win outright to avoid an April runoff.

    I suppose it's for the best. I don't really know what kind of damage Emanuel will do to the city. But I do know that it's nothing compared to the kind of damage he would have done if he'd lost.

    He gets angry.

    Tags: Chicago, Illinois, Rahm Emanuel
  • Illinois LGBT Community Wins Hospital Visits!

    Nearly lost in the hoopla over that small Egyptian event is the fact that the gays have a big reason to party in Illinois!

    Governor Pat Quinn on Monday made Illinois the 16th U.S. state to give spousal rights to same-sex couples by signing into law a measure allowing civil unions.

    Both houses of the Illinois legislature narrowly passed the measure that takes effect in July, though it does not alter a state law that limits marriage to a man and a woman.

    Alright, it ain’t full marriage, but still! Gays and lesbians will get all sort of new rights regarding stuff like “hospital visitation, making health-care decisions, and matters concerning probate of a partner's estate.”

    Congratulations to Illinois gays, and here are our suggestions for a few Illinois-appropriate civil union receptions/parties…

    1. Served bootlegged liquor at your reception. Guests dressed as Al Capone get an open bar; everybody else has to pay twice as much or risk getting his/her knees broken.

    2. Ask One True Mayor-for-Life Rahm Emanuel to perform your ceremony. Sure, he just barely sneaked onto the ballot and he hasn't actually been elected yet, but when has that stopped any powerful Chicago politician from getting things done? As a bonus, you'll have the pleasure of hearing your officiant say, "Do you, [insert your name], take this mutha#$%@!r to be your civilly-wedded husband? YOU F&%^ing better say yes, you son of a bitch!"

    3. Make Rod Blagojevich a bridesmaid. Seriously, that guy will do anything these days. Have you seen his pistachio commercial?

    Tags: Chicago, Illinois, LGBT, Marriage Equality, Rahm Emanuel, Rod Blagojevich
  • Illinois Supreme Court Rules in Favor of Rahm Emanuel

    It's been a crazy half-of-a-week, but long-suffering Chicago mayoral candidate Rahm Emanuel is finally back on the ballot and back on track to realize his several-month-long dream of ruling his native city

    The ballot roller coaster for Rahm Emanuel finally stopped Thursday with the former White House chief of staff very much in the race for mayor and the Illinois Supreme Court emphatically rejecting a contentious challenge to his Chicago residency.

    Within minutes of the high court ruling, Emanuel was back shaking hands with voters, taking a congratulatory call from his old boss, President Barack Obama, and working to recapture an aura of invincibility he had worked hard to project until an Appellate Court ruling threatened to boot him from the Feb. 22 contest.

    The New York Times' Caucus blog speculates on the possible fall-out from these few days of highly-publicized debate

    Some Chicagoans suggested that the incident might tarnish Mr. Emanuel’s campaign, repeatedly reminding voters that there had been a question about Mr. Emanuel’s legal status as a resident of this city — and, perhaps, a more psychic question about whether Mr. Emanuel was really as fully steeped in Chicago as, say, Richard M. Daley, the departing mayor, who was nothing if not a Chicagoan. Mr. Emanuel, who was born in Chicago, lived in the suburbs during some of his youth and, as a Congressman from Chicago, spent time in Washington even before he worked there as White House chief of staff.

    So, wait. The implication here is that because he lived part-time in Washington D.C. for a few years while representing Chicago in the U.S. House of Representatives and then spent two years living there full-time while working for a President from Chicago, with a White House staff plucked, almost in total, from the world of Chicago politics, that somehow makes him less of a Chicagoan?

    That's not leaving Chicago; that's colonizing the rest of the country.

    Tags: Barack Obama, Chicago, Illinois, Rahm Emanuel
  • Jon Stewart and John Oliver on Rahm Emanuel and Chicago Politics

    It's admittedly a little hard to understand the warp and woof of Rahm Emanuel's quest to become the feudal lord of Chicago. The city's political infrastructure can seem somewhat byzantine and murky to the uninitiated. Jon and John, though, do their best to make it seem a little less confusing…

    However, if you're still somewhat confused about the whole scenario, this video from NMA TV should clear it all up for you…

    There. Now you get it, right?

    The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11/10c.

    Tags: Chicago, Illinois, John Oliver, Jon Stewart, Rahm Emanuel, The Daily Show, Video
  • It Somehow Took a Whole Day for Rahm Emanuel's Name to Be Returned to the Ballot

    Seems like it was only yesterday that former White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel's name was ordered by an appeals court to be removed from Chicago mayoral ballots. We were all so much younger and full of wonder back then, remember? Who could have thought that a thing like this could happen to a member of the Chicago Democratic royalty?

    Some might say that we were naive in thinking that Emanuel might not get exactly what he wanted in his city, but I say that we were innocent

    The Illinois Supreme Court will hear Rahm Emanuel's appeal to remain on the ballot in the Chicago mayor's race.

    The court granted a motion by the former White House chief of staff seeking an expedited hearing on his residency case… It will hear the case without oral arguments or new briefs, allowing for a faster ruling on the matter. The quick proceedings are necessary, with the race less than a month away and early voting set to begin next Monday.

    It was the second break in a matter of hours for Emanuel. The court ruled earlier Tuesday that no ballots may be printed without his name, at least not until the court has dealt with the appeal.

    Now, with the benefit of the tens of hours of maturity we've all gained since yesterday's heartbreak and tribulation, I'm finding it hard to believe that it took an entire 24 hours for this road bump to get smoothed over. That's just unacceptable.

    Can't say I'm disappointed about the decision, current resident of Chicago as I am. The incessant stream of wailing profanities that has been ringing throughout the city had been getting somewhat unnerving.

    Tags: Chicago, Illinois, Rahm Emanuel