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Tweet Untweet: Souvenirs of the Sequester
I SURVIVED THE SEQUESTER AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS LOUSY 2ND RECESSION.
— Warren Holstein (@WarrenHolstein) March 1, 2013
Tags: Economy, Recession, Sequester, Tweet Untweet, Twitter -
Our Endorsements: Some Barry We Used to Know
* Funny or Die laments the Obama we used to know.
* Romney's spin room spins into oblivion.
* Hillary dropping it as though it were hot.
* Here's a compilation of politicians losing it.
* This makes me very happy that "Barbie" rhymes with "Romney."
* It's not at all uncanny how much this guy looks like Barack Obama.
* As elusive as the last unicorn, the last gay Chick-fil-A customer.
* Remind your pets that we're in a gosh darned recession, from The Onion.
Tags: Barack Obama, Daily Links, Funny or Die, Hillary Clinton, LGBT, Marriage Equality, Mitt Romney, Recession, The Onion -
Socialist School Buses on the Chopping Block in Washington
Kids today are so entitled with their iPads and Justin Biebers and constant need for food and health care. Well, listen up, kids: The free ride is over. Literally…
The yellow school bus could become another victim of the Great Recession in some parts of Washington.
Gov. Chris Gregoire doesn't want to see her state stop spending money to get kids to school. But any squeamishness over student transportation cuts isn't enough to keep that $220 million idea off her list of ways to potentially deal with budget shortfalls, the latest a $2 billion one.
Tough choices are the rule of the day in nearly every state in the rough U.S. economy… Washington would be the first to completely eliminate state dollars for bus service because of the recent recession.
Sure, getting rid of buses would pose a threat to student safety, increase air pollution and prevent some low-income students from attending school regularly. But it’s about time we got the government out of our public education. Think of all the high-fructose corn syrup, predator drones and high-fructose predator drones we could buy with the millions we're throwing away on "learning." I can't imagine what’s holding state legislators back…
Washington's state schools chief, Randy Dorn, says there's one more consideration here: the state Constitution requires the state government to amply pay the costs of basic education, as defined by the state Legislature. Student transportation is part of the definition of basic education… the Legislature would have to adjust the definition to make way for many of the governor's ideas for cutting the state education budget.
There you go. States can cut education without cutting "education" if they just change the definition of what an education is. It's as easy as 1-2-3. That is, if schools can still afford to teach kids how to count.
Photo by Hotshot977/Wikimedia Commons
Tags: Children, Education, Recession, Transportation, Washington -
From the Pork Barrel: Recession Regression
* Ben Bernanke promises a hungry nation: No chickens in any pot! (Also, gimme that pot.)
* For Rick Perry so loved the country that he decided to run for President at great personal sacrifice to himself even though he totally doesn't actually want the job. Amen.
* Mitt Romney blows circuit after human person asks question that wasn't submitted via punch card.
* Newt Gingrich takes break from busy Tiffany's shopping schedule to explain that media, government and academic "elites" are responsible for loss of manufacturing jobs in U.S.
* Republican voters now slightly less disappointed in their primary choices.
Photo by Mark Wilson/Getty Images News/Getty Images
Tags: Ben Bernanke, Economy, Federal Reserve, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, Pork Barrel, Primaries, Recession, Republicans, Rick Perry -
Tworld News: Week of September 20, 2010
Then God said, "Let there be Twitter." But then he was like "oh shit, that's not what I wanted." And thus the news cycle was never the same…
Fathers are a lot like microwaves; if you have one as a child you'll be happy, if you have two then you will never be a viable member of society.
Trying to make this story more hilarious would be like trying to make plastic more awesome. It ain't gonna happen– Stephen, teach us your ways.
This is why they call him Mahmoud 'the jokester' Ahmadinejad. Cause he's always making jokes. Plus it just rolls off the tongue.
The only person to blame here is the guy who accidentally booked Katy Perry for Sesame Street instead of Zooey Deschanel.
Score one for the pragmatic benefits of owning bathtubs full of gold coins.
Why can't everyone agree on whether or not the recession is over? Isn't it just a straightforward self-evident thing based on not-bullshit?
Darwin party this weekend at my house– if you show up as 'evolution of dance' you will get bounced.
[This tasteless joke preemptively removed by the author in the spirit of avoiding large media conglomerate warfare]
There are entirely unpredictable and totally shocking surprises in the world, and then there's this.
It's crazy how all these perfectly normal patriotic heterosexual individuals keep joining various branches of the military and then suddenly become treasonous gays.
Get twasty faced all week long, follow us on twitter @TheIndecider
Tags: DADT, Evolution, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Recession, Stephen Colbert, Tworld News
