Our Endorsements: Mitt Romney's Pesky Kids

Rick Santorum's Movie [PHOTOS]

Yep. It's called "Our Sacred Honor," and it's about American history (specifically, why it peaked in roughly 1794 and how we can get back to that ideal).

With Rick himself in the room (!) we got to watch the premiere. Check out our full photo recap, and stay tuned for more adventures from Tampa.

Posted with the AT&T HTC One X

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See the full gallery here!

RNC Day 1: The Speeches by the Numbers

First, a number of Republican gave speeches. Then, Chris Christie gave the same speech, but louder, and while imagining the audience as a bunch of unionized school teachers in their underwear (because he had taken their pants, alongside their lunch money). The day drew to a close with a performance by Three Doors Down, because torture is still a part of the GOP platform.

Here's what else you may have missed from all the evening's events…

Number of times Chris Christie mentioned Mitt Romney: 7

Number of times Christie mentioned himself: 37

Number of Republicans besides Christie who are happy about this: 0.

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Tags: Chris Christie, John Boehner, Kelly Ayotte, Marsha Blackburn, Reince Priebus, Republican National Convention, Rick Santorum, Ted Cruz

Can't the RNC Be About Mitt Romney Just a Little?

Maybe. Let's see what Rick Santorum had to say in his speech…

"President Obama spent four years and borrowed five trillion dollars, trying to convince you that he could make things better for you — to put your trust in him and the government to take care of every problem."

Okay, some Obama bashing's par for the course. Surely he'll get to how great Romney is soon…

"Graduate from high school, work hard, and get married before you have children and the chance you will ever be in poverty is just two percent."

Hm. It's a little out of left field — "hard work" seems pretty vague to be tied to any statistical percentages, and marriage before children doesn't have much to do with Romney. A ringing endorsement must be coming, though…

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Rick Santorum Says Obama Is Forcing Americans Into a Life of Sin

Wake up, people! This is the liberal agenda in full effect!

Did you think that left-wing politicians like Barack Obama and Bill Clinton and eight-years-ago Mitt Romney were going to be content with forcing society into accepting alternative lifestyles like homosexuality and being a woman? Oh, no! They won't be content until they drag every last one of us down into their sick gutter of sinfulness!

Don't take my word for it…

Former presidential hopeful Rick Santorum said Wednesday that President Barack Obama is "directly assaulting" religious freedom and that his administration has implemented policies that force Catholics to abandon their faith.

"We have a president who, for the first time in American history, is directly assaulting the First Amendment and freedom of religion," Santorum said. "He is going to tell you what to do in the practice of your faith. He is forcing business people right now to do things that are against their conscience, that they will have to — if you're a Catholic — you'll have to go to confession… to confess that you are complying with a government program that is a sin in the Catholic Church."

I'm assuming that Santorum is referring to how Obama is making it mandatory for businesses to include birth control in their health care benefits even if they would rather not condone female employees having sex for purposes other than procreation. But I might be wrong. Could be Obama's been force-feeding meat to people during Lent.

I wouldn't put anything past this monster.