Rick Santorum Live-Panders His Meal at Chick-fil-A on Twitter

In America, we hold our fast food restaurants in such high esteem, that we listen to their stances on important social issues. The only scenario in which Chick-fil-A should have a public position on gay marriage is if chickens were gay marrying. And even then, let the chickens live their lives!

Fortunately, politicians like Mike Huckabee and Rick Santorum are willing to fight for the right of a giant corporation to hate gay people. Before I embed these tweets, I should warn you, the only thing grosser than imagining Rick Santorum having sex is imagining Rick Santorum eating food…

I’m joining @GovMikeHuckabee to support @ChickFilA Aug 1. Stand w us! RSVP now:ht.ly/cugl1 #chickfila Pls RT

— Rick Santorum (@RickSantorum) July 25, 2012

Rick Santorum and Mike Huckabee have done more to convince me not to eat fast food than Michelle Obama ever could.

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With two of my boys, Enjoying chick-in-strips and an awesome peach shake at Chick-fil-A. See you here next Wednesday!

— Rick Santorum (@RickSantorum) July 25, 2012

At McDonald's they're called Happy Meals. At Chick-fil-A they're called Only-We're-Allowed-To-Be-Happy Meals.

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Three older kids @sarah_santorum @dansantorum @johnsantorum just joined us at Chick-fil-A. They like Chick-fil-A sauce on everything!

— Rick Santorum (@RickSantorum) July 25, 2012

Have you learned nothing, Rick Santorum? You mentioning sauce is not helping people find their appetite!

Tags: Chick-fil-A, Christianity, Food, LGBT, Marriage Equality, Mike Huckabee, Religion, Rick Santorum

Rick Santorum Nightmare Dog Wedding Comes True

It featured a black-tie gala, couture gowns, celebrity chefs and officiating by Triumph the Insult Comic Dog.

In short, it was everything Rick Santorum warned us about…

Two dogs got married Thursday night at an extravaganza to benefit the Humane Society of New York…

After they got hitched, the cuddly couple were presented with a Guinness World Record in the category of most expensive pet wedding at $158,187.26. The luxury goods and services that went into the wedding were all donated. Guests bought tickets for the Manhattan fundraiser.

As it happens, while the bride hailed from New York, the groom was from Richmond, Virginia, a state that bans marriage equality via a constitutional amendment. Which raises the obvious slippery-slope argument. If dogs can have a fake wedding, what's next? Two consenting adults who love each other being allowed to marry for real?

Photo by Scott Olson/Getty Images News/Getty Images

Tags: Animals, LGBT, New York, Rick Santorum, Triumph the Insult Comic Dog, Virginia

Your Choice for Rick Santorum's New "Patriot Voices" Logo

Last week, we asked you to help Rick Santorum choose a logo for his new political group, Patriot Voices. You rose to the challenge and chose a symbol that truly exemplifies the timeless foundations upon which the former Pennsylvania senator has based his political career.

The winner — with a whopping 59 percent of the vote — is "Eek, The Gays!"…

We've sent along the design to Mr. Santorum's people, but curiously have yet to hear back.

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Related
Ask Rick Santorum: Taking One for the Team
Rick Santorum's Bizarre Tonight Show Appearance

Tags: Conservatives, LGBT, Money, Puppies!, Rick Santorum

Help Rick Santorum: Pick a Logo for His New Group, Patriot Voices!

Rick Santorum's presidential run is over (officially, now), but the eyes of the nation are upon him, and he's certainly not the type of man to squander such attention an opportunity for change.

Today, Santorum unveiled his brand-new nonprofit political organization, Patriot Voices, "which will mobilize one million conservatives around this country who are committed to promoting faith, family, freedom and opportunity."

In other words, he wants your money. But if you click over to PatriotVoices.com, you'll see that he also needs some help choosing a logo.

Look at these ugly things…

We can do better!

Read More »

Tags: Conservatives, LGBT, Money, Puppies!, Rick Santorum

Our Endorsements: Pulling Out Is Never 100%

* Pulling out of Iraq has some unintended consequences, from College Humor.

* The Bain hate train stops here.

* If Herman Cain had a "kill list" it would be hilarious.

* What other shenanigans has the Secret Service been up to?

* Me the People is a hilarious new book  from Kevin Bleyer that rewrites the Constitution.

* Politwoops, a site that collects politician's deleted tweets/reminds them that the internet is forever.

Tags: Bain Capital, Barack Obama, Benjamin Franklin, College Humor, Constitution, Daily Links, Funny or Die, George Washington, Herman Cain, Iran, Iraq, Michele Bachmann, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, Pakistan, Rick Santorum, Secret Service, The Daily Show, Twitter