Latest Posts

Rielle Hunter
  • The Top 27 Political Bastards of All Time (The Real Kind)

    Here's a riddle. What's conceived in sin; takes nine months to complete; and makes for some sticky situations upon its unwelcomed arrival? That's right, a completely convoluted Indecision article that lists famous illegitimate political offspring while simultaneously promoting the season premiere of The Sarah Silverman Program, entitled "The Proof Is in the Penis." Oh, except Indecision didn't give me nine months to write this. More like five days. And I guess I didn't really conceive it in sin, although between you and me, my silk boxers do feel pretty sweet beneath my blogging pants.

    Now before you go complaining about who I left off, keep in mind that I was looking not only for political progeny born to unmarried parents, but also people who — when organized in list form — would make you, the reader, want to tune in for Sarah Silverman's premiere episode, "The Proof Is in the Penis" this Thursday at 10:30pm / 9:30c. Did I accomplish this? Hey, who's wearing the blogging pants around here. Spoiler alert: Not me as of twenty seconds ago.


    27. John Edwards' daughter Frances Quinn Hunter

    When John Edwards burst on the National political scene in 2000, he was like nothing we'd ever seen. The guy just didn't lie like a politician. Unfortunately, he lied a lot like a trial lawyer. And in 2008, we learned that John Edwards could lie like other things too.

    For example, like that guy your mom called your "uncle" when your dad was away on business trips. In any event, Edwards' affair with Rielle Hunter came to light in 2008, and while he admitted his wrongdoing, he was also adamant that Ms. Hunter's baby girl was not his. Turns out that was also a lie.

    Fast-forward to 2010 and now Edwards has admitted that Frances Quinn is his daughter. This might be the first time a two-year-old's first sentence has been, "No, dude. Seriously. It's O.K."

    Read More »

    Tags: Bristol Palin, Christianity, France, Grover Cleveland, John Edwards, Levi Johnston, Paraguay, Racism, Religion, Rielle Hunter, Sarah Palin, Scandalgate, Senate, Sex, South Africa, South Carolina, Strom Thurmond, Tripp Johnston-Palin
  • John and Elizabeth Edwards Are Splitting Up

    I don't think any of us saw this coming!

    John and Elizabeth Edwards, whose marriage received outsize attention in the last two Democratic presidential campaigns, have legally separated, according to two people close to the family.

    And all it took was him fathering a child with another woman who filmed a sex tape of him while he campaigned for president of the United States despite the fact that she had cancer.

    Marriages today. They're not sturdy like they used to be.

    Tags: Elizabeth Edwards, John Edwards, Rielle Hunter, Sex
  • Return of the John Edwards Sex Tape

    Hey, remember that DIY porn film starring that guy who was asking all of us to let him run our country that we were promised way back in June? You probably thought that was going to end up being just another broken political promise, didn't you? (Typical Democrat, am I right?)

    Well, according to some of Gawker's sources, it might be popping up after all.

    And not only that, but it's longer than one might expect. (Get it? Get it? That's a reference to the size of Edwards' penis, which is supposedly pretty big. Anatomy jokes! Always kill!)

    Sources have told us that, in the throes of their affair, John Edwards and Rielle Hunter made a sex tape that contains "several sex acts." And that his aide, Andrew Young found it on an unmarked DVD.

    The tape, say both our sources, is explicit and reveals that Edwards "is physically very striking, in a certain area. Everyone who sees it says 'whoa'. She's behind the camera at first."

    So what? People say "whoa" when they see my penis, too. As a matter of fact, this one lady on the subway this morning practically fainted.

    Tags: John Edwards, Rielle Hunter, Scandalgate, Sex
  • The John Edwards Musical Will Impregnate Your Mind with Zazz!

    Hopefully, Ben Greenman's Fragments From "Edwards: The Musical will do for John Edwards what Andrew Lloyd Webber's Cats did for Mr. Mistoffelees. (Most people forget this, but his career was in the toilet before that musical, too.)


    I'm running for president,
    The highest office in the land.
    Look, I'm right there in the mirror,
    Smoothing my hair down with my hand.

    I am handsome. Yes, it's true.
    And I am wealthy: that's true, too.
    But superficial things like that,
    Well, they're just not where I'm at.

    You see, I care about the poor.
    I often fret about their plight.
    I adore the way I look
    In this smoky barroom light.

    (RIELLE HUNTER spots JOHN EDWARDS at the bar and approaches him.)


    Hi, I'm Lisa.
    I mean Rielle.
    Will you take me
    To a hotel?

    Read More »

    Tags: Elizabeth Edwards, John Edwards, Rielle Hunter, Sex
  • John Edwards Admits He Had a Baby with Whatshername, Not the Wife One

    mill-lowellJohn… Edwards. John Edwards. Johhhhn Edwarrrrrds. Ring any bells? Oh, yeah, he's the one who took John Kerry windsurfing in 2004, right? That guy? Big Brylcreem investor? Descendant of one of the mills on the Mayflower? Anyway, he's in the news again, because of his wandering penis…

    For the first time, John Edwards is publicly admitting that he is indeed the father of a 2-year-old daughter conceived with Rielle Hunter, a campaign videographer with whom he had an affair.

    In a written statement provided exclusively to NBC News, the former North Carolina senator and Democratic presidential candidate says [Ed. note: Redacted translation: "Blah blah love privacy sorry yeah I'm giving the kid's mom money."].

    Edwards has denied wrongdoing. [Spokesman Harris] Hickman said that Edwards wanted to be honest about his child, but also wanted to protect his privacy.

    "He's not doing this as a way to try to bring attention to himself," Hickman said.

    Odd choice, seeing as there is literally no other reason why we would be writing about John Edwards this morning.

    Tags: Babies, John Edwards, Rielle Hunter