Sarah PAC Continues Fundraising to Raise Awareness of Sarah PAC

Look, I know what you're going to say: What's wrong with Sarah Palin raising money through her political action committee so that her political action committee has money to go out and ask for more money for her political action committee? And I agree with you.

The world needs Sarah Palin's political action committee. Without it, how would we ever remember that Sarah Palin has a political action committee?

Sarah Palin's political action committee raised $388,000 in the first three months of the year, but it spent $418,000 and didn’t give a dime to any candidates — which is the purported purpose of the PAC.

So?! Why should Sarah Palin's PAC give any money to those other idiots? It's called Sarah PAC, not Mitt PAC or Newt PAC. Besides, if it gave its money away to those people, it wouldn't have any money left for really important things. Like defending Sarah Palin's honor and asking for more money to defend Sarah Palin's honor…

Instead, Sarah PAC spent $255,000 on fundraising and a small team of political consultants that Palin has continued to support even as she receded from the political spotlight during the heat of the GOP presidential primary. It also appears to have spent $19,000 on a video rebutting the HBO film Game Change.

That would, I believe, be this video…

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Reince Priebus Denies GOP "War on Caterpillars"

It appears as though RNC chairman Reince Priebus has just opened up a brand new front on a American special interest group. In this case, the special interest is molting…

In a interview that will air on Saturday, Bloomberg TV's Al Hunt asked RNC Chairman Reince Priebus how big of a problem it was for Republicans that recent polls showed President Barack Obama with a 2-1 lead among female voters in battleground states.

"If Democrats said we had a war on caterpillars and every mainstream media outlet talked about the fact that the Republicans have a war on caterpillars then we would have problems with caterpillars," Priebus explained. "The fact of the matter is that it's a fiction."…

They can say this all they want, but I doubt you'll find a single Republican who would be willing to support health care-provided chrysalis assistance. And do you have any idea how many members of the order Lepidoptera conservative voters have elected to office in the past hundred years? Exactly zero.

Photo by Scott Olson/Getty Images News/Getty Images

Republicans Warn of Barack Obama's "War on Women"

The Republican National Committee just released a video highlighting President Barack Obama's cruel and unrelenting assault on women's rights.

And, no, this is not a parody video…

Thanks, RNC. We'll, um, take your warnings into… consideration.

.

Related: Send Your Congressman a Uterus of His Very Own

Also related: Women Mock Rick Perry with Questions About Menstruation

Still also related: Senate GOP Tricked into Opposing Even More Rights for Women

Even more also related: Bill Maher Explains the Difference Between Himself and Rush Limbaugh

Not related but still funny: For Your Consideration, Mr. Santorum: Vice-President Gingrich

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RNC Unhappy with Jobs Report for Reasons to Be Determined Later

When news hit this morning that 227,000 jobs were created last month, Republican National Committee was quick to jump all over this terrible, awful news…

"Today's jobs report is yet another reminder that far too many Americans are out of work, and the situation is clearly not improving," RNC Chairman Reince Priebus said in the statement." But the jobs numbers clearly indicate improvement, even if the unemployment rate didn't decline.

Aside from the raw number of jobs created in February, the report showed an upward revision of 61,000 jobs created in December and January. Additionally, there was a 92,000 drop in the number of people unemployed for over 27 weeks, coupled with the entrance of over 476,000 into the labor force — a sign of confidence in the economy.

So, let me get this straight: Now, on top of all of the problems that this great nation is currently facing, Barack Obama wants Americans to wake up on a Monday morning, get out of their nice warm beds, shower, shave and get dressed. And then go and work for eight hours?

What is this? Some sort of Dickensian sweat shop nation?!

Every time you think this President can't get any worse, something something something Nazi socialist. Am I right?

Photo by Scott Olson/Getty Images News/Getty Images

Stephen Colbert on Settling for Mitt Romney

Most people don't ask themselves whether Mitt Romney has feelings, or whether they get hurt when he hears how Republicans really don't like him and would do anything to keep him from being the nominee, even considering asking Bobby Jindal to run, a smallish person who probably gets teased a lot by the older boys. But if they did ask themselves that, the answer would be no.

The Colbert Report airs Monday through Thursday at 11:30/10:30c.