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Rob Kutner
  • This Week's Sign of the Apocalypse: Inventor Award

    When you've been following the Presidential campaign as long as I have, sometimes you think the world will end before the race does. A lot of the time you hope it. But as my new book Apocalypse How shows you, there are plenty of other reasons to hope for the end of the world. Did you know that the Chinese character for "opportunity" is the same as the one for "unstoppable army of sentient robo-wasps?" Armed with the knowledge in my book (and maybe a few sharp sticks), you can sit back and enjoy these signs of your impending Doom-ertunity.

    SIGN: John McCain proposes awarding $300 million to inventor of next-generation car battery.

    WHY THAT'S A SIGN: American inventors will be diverted from creating the next Poop Freeze™, Rotato Express™, or ShamWow! ™, freeing up thousands of hours of late-night infomercial time… for diabolical mind-control messages from Zarkon the Insomniac.

    WHAT TO EXPECT: First America, then rest of planet overtaken by Zarkon's fearsome army of stoners, eating everything in sight and coming up with ideas for ruling us that seem awesome at the time, but not so much the next day.

    WHY THAT'S GREAT NEWS: With all potential ethanol farmland now dedicated to corn syrup high-fructosization, incentive to develop new car battery even stronger.

    Each week, Daily Show writer Rob Kutner, author of the book Apocalypse How (on sale now!), reminds us that the world is about to end…and why we should be psyched.


    Tags: Rob Kutner, Science & Technology, The Daily Show, This Week's Sign of the Apocalypse
  • This Week's Sign of the Apocalypse: DNC in Debt

    When you've been following the Presidential campaign as long as I have, sometimes you think the world will end before the race does. A lot of the time you hope it. But as my new book Apocalypse How shows you, there are plenty of other reasons to hope for the end of the world. Did you know that the Chinese character for "opportunity" is the same as the one for "unstoppable army of sentient robo-wasps?" Armed with the knowledge in my book (and maybe a few sharp sticks), you can sit back and enjoy these signs of your impending Doom-ertunity.

    SIGN: The host committee for the Democratic National Convention in Denver finds itself $15 million in debt.

    WHY THAT'S A SIGN: Democrats will be forced to hold endless series of Pledge Breaks, requiring historically unprecedented number of tote bag giveaways.

    WHAT TO EXPECT: Subsequent skyrocketing demand for jute will decimate world's rainforests, while stepped-up "Three Tenor" exhalations will exacerbate the Greenhouse Effect.

    WHY THAT'S GREAT NEWS: Who needs Denver? A newly desertified world will provide any number of low-oxygen locations for the DNC.

    Each week, Daily Show writer Rob Kutner, author of the book Apocalypse How (on sale now!), reminds us that the world is about to end…and why we should be psyched.


    Tags: Rob Kutner, The Daily Show, This Week's Sign of the Apocalypse
  • This Week's Sign of the Apocalypse: The Fist Bump

    When you've been following the Presidential campaign as long as I have, sometimes you think the world will end before the race does. A lot of the time you hope it. But as my new book Apocalypse How shows you, there are plenty of other reasons to hope for the end of the world. Did you know that the Chinese character for "opportunity" is the same as the one for "unstoppable army of sentient robo-wasps?" Armed with the knowledge in my book (and maybe a few sharp sticks), you can sit back and enjoy these signs of your impending Doom-ertunity.

    SIGN: Secret Obama "Terrorist Fist Jab" revealed to shocked world

    WHY THAT'S A SIGN: The FoxNews anchor, E.D. Hill, who made the comment about the gesture, is removed from her job. For the first time in history, FoxNews recognizes a consequence to anything.

    WHAT TO EXPECT: Their ruse up, Barack and Michelle Obama, now free to reclaim their beloved Islam, invite Farrakhan and Ahmadinejad over for brunch and "planning." (Chilling new campaign slogan: "Yes We Can… MWAHAHAHAHA!!!!")

    WHY THAT'S GREAT NEWS: Who's better qualified than Obama for a world newly returned to subsistence goat-herding?

    Each week, Daily Show writer Rob Kutner, author of the book Apocalypse How (on sale now!), reminds us that the world is about to end…and why we should be psyched.


    Tags: Barack Obama, Rob Kutner, The Daily Show, This Week's Sign of the Apocalypse