President-Elect Obama Announces His Super Secret National Security Team

Well, Barack Obama just gave his (by my count) 413th press conference since being elected as the next president. This time around, it was to introduce his national security team.

The rundown goes like this…

* Attorney General: Eric Holder – AKA black guy with moustache

* National Security Advisor: Gen. James L. Jones – AKA clean-cut, avuncular white guy

* Secretary of Homeland Security: Janey Napolitano – AKA Hobbit woman

* Secretary of Defense: Robert Gates – AKA token Republican

* Ambassador to the United Nations: Susan Rice – AKA pixie woman

And, of course, the big surprise was his choice for Secretary of State: Hillary Clinton. Wow! What a shocker! I never, ever in a billion years would have guessed that one. Amazing, how they managed to keep a lid on that choice for all these weeks, with no leaks to the press or anything!

Man, you'd think a choice like Hillary Clinton would have dominated the news cycle for the past three weeks, rendering the actual announcement as little more than a boring bit of extra news that just gets stuck at the end of a really not all that funny post that most people probably aren't even going to read till the end.

Yep. Exciting news.

Tags: Barack Obama, Eric Holder, Hillary Clinton, Homeland Security, James Jones, Janet Napolitano, Obama Administration, Robert Gates, Susan Rice

From the Pork Barrel: Turns Out Torture's Bad For You After All

* Pulling out of the running for Director of the CIA must be torture for John Brennan.

* Secretary of Defense Robert Gates only known American to keep job through the year.

* AIG isn't blowing money like it's coke. AIG is still blowing money like it's coke.

* Assumption confirmed: Republicans like assholes.

* GOP ad man went out of his way to avoid racism in anti-Obama ads. How racist!

* Michael Bloomberg sticking around this shithole we call New York City after all.

* Wanna hear a good one? McCain 2012.

Tags: AIG, Barack Obama, CIA, John Brennan, John McCain, Michael Bloomberg, New York, Obama Administration, Pork Barrel, Rahm Emanuel, Robert Gates

President Barack Obama to Throw Bone to Republicans

Just in case you were wondering if the media has a hunch about who might win next Tuesday's presidential election, you might want to crawl out of your cave. Speculation is rampant about details of the impending Obama administration.

The president-elect-elect is apparently speculating about that topic, too. Yesterday, he began revealing the makeup of his cabinet, on the off-chance that for some reason he managed to win the presidency.

U.S. presidential candidate Barack Obama said on Wednesday he would include Republicans in his Cabinet if he wins the election. Obama, a Democratic senator from Illinois, also said he had "some pretty good ideas" about people he might tap for senior government jobs, though he emphasized he is focused for now on the final days of the campaign and takes nothing for granted.

Obama said he "absolutely" considered it important to have Republicans in the Cabinet but he sidestepped a question on whether he would ask Defense Secretary Robert Gates to remain in his job. There has been speculation that either Obama or his Republican rival, John McCain, might ask Gates to stay on. "I'm not going to get into details," Obama said, but he added that national security policy, in particular, should be nonpartisan.

Well, it's about time that an African-American got to pick someone else as a token! And it's nice to see that Obama will continue in the proud tradition of symbolic opposite-party cabinet members (just ask long-suffering token Democrat Norm Mineta).

Obama will have plenty of quality Republicans to pick from for his cabinet, starting with Cindy McCain, who's a shoo-in for Secretary of Veterans Affairs.

Tags: Barack Obama, Cindy McCain, John McCain, Robert Gates