There's two ways to look at the gridlock besetting Congress. We can worry about the series of federal spending cuts and tax hikes set to take effect at the beginning of 2013 if Congress and the Obama administration don't countermand the sequestration process they approved as part of the debt ceiling agreement. Or, we can worry about the much larger issue: there are only 164 calendar days left in 2012 to rename more things after Ronald Reagan.
Rep. Darrell Issa has chosen wisely, introducing legislation rename the Exclusive Economic Zone, an area extending from three miles to 200 miles offshore in which the United States claims sovereignty over natural resources, as the Ronald Wilson Reagan Exclusive Economic Zone.
The only drawback is the confusion the Ronald Wilson Reagan Exclusive Economic Zone may engender vis-a-vis the Reagan Economic Zone of free trade and economic integration proposed by Mitt Romney this year and the Reagan Zone of Economic Freedom proposed by Romney in 2007.
Otherwise, this solves a slew of problems. All those embarrassing stories about American schoolkids unable to point to the Pacific Ocean on a geography quiz? Problem solved, when all bodies of water are named after Reagan.
Famine in drought-stricken regions of the world? Gone, when Republicans realize that the UN's World Food Program is now the Reagan Food Program. In fact, the UN's mandate for Reagan peace should make international aid budgets much easier to adopt. To say nothing of the urgency of solving the problem of Reaganal warming.
Photo by FPG/Taxi/Getty Images
Tags: Darrell Issa, House of Representatives, Ronald Reagan
"Well, Minnesota would have been nice."
Say… I remember when Republican presidential candidates new how to talk. Also, I remember rotary phones.
Tags: 1984, Minnesota, Ronald Reagan
* Prop comedy takes over Congress.
* Letterman got his own NYC park, why can't Steve Martin?
* Disney characters who look like politicians, or vice versa.
* Buy Reagan blood from the comfort of your own home, from Funny or Die.
* Prepare to be amused by the alternate reality cast of "Political Animals".
Tags: Barack Obama, Chris Rock, Daily Links, David Letterman, Mitt Romney, Ronald Reagan, steve, Trayvon Martin
Last night, I was watching old Rob Portman clips on YouTube, because that is how exciting my life is, and I found this one, in which the senator from Ohio misattributes one of William Boetcker’s maxims ("You cannot keep out of trouble by spending more than you earn") to Abraham Lincoln…
Ergo: Rob Portman is the reincarnation of Ronald Reagan. So, he will probably definitely be Mitt Romney’s vice-presidential pick.
Or at least his Secretary of the Department of Reagan Zombies.
Tags: Ohio, Rob Portman, Ronald Reagan, Senate, Veepstakes
Since 1997, the Ronald Reagan Legacy Project, an organization founded by Grover Norquist, has sought to name at least one notable public landmark in each U.S. state and all 3067 counties after the Ronald Reagan. Norquist's efforts have been so successful, it's been estimated (by me) that by 2025, 90% of all government infrastructure in the United States would be named for the 40th president.
Unfortunately for people who feel that Reagan's legacy should take the form of re-named government buildings instead of sprawling homeless encampments, strapped budgets have led local governments to sell naming rights and advertising space to corporations.
As reported in the New York Times, New York City and Philadelphia have renamed subway stations for Barclays and AT&T. The Baltimore City Council adopted a resolution calling for advertising to be sold on the city's fire trucks. Pizza chains advertise on school buses. And KFC "temporarily plastered its logo on manhole covers and fire hydrants in several cities in Indiana, Kentucky and Tennessee after paying to fill potholes and replace hydrants."
Concerning as this may be to those who care about the integrity of public institutions, this trend is here to stay. Here are some suggestions for our cash-strapped federal government, if it seeks to hop on the Yum-branded bandwagon…
* The Securities and Exchange Commission, brought to you by Goldman Sachs.
* The Firestone Tire Occupational Safety and Health Administration
* EMPA; The Exxon-Mobile Environmental Protection Agency, and
* The Central Intelligence Agency, by Facebook
Though perhaps the KFC Department of Health and Human Services is taking things too far.
Photo by Kevork Djansezian/Getty Images News/Getty Images
Tags: Corporations, Money, Ronald Reagan