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Rush Limbaugh
  • Rush Limbaugh Predicts Doom

    Have you ever wondered what a second Obama term would look like? Will it be — as Bloomberg Businessweek's Joshua Green suspects — kind of okay with a necessary lessening of congressional gridlock? That'd be nice, wouldn't it? If only there were some way to know for sure.

    Oh, I know! Let's shake up the Magic 8-Limbaugh and see what what it predicts for the future of the nation

    "We're doomed."

    Yikes. I was hoping for maybe an "Ask again later" or a "Outlook not so good" at the very worst. "We're doomed" is kind of a downer. Let's shake it up once more and hope for something better…

    "If Obama's re-elected, it will happen. There’s no if about this. And it’s gonna be ugly. It's gonna be gut-wrenching, but it will happen. The country's economy is going to collapse if Obama is re-elected. I don’t know how long: a year and a half, two years, three years."

    Oof! I'm not even sure how that all fit on the little die-thing in there.

    Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images


    Tags: Barack Obama, Rush Limbaugh
  • Hurricane Isaac: Throbbing Gay Penis or Obama Conspiracy?

    Tropical storm Isaac was a deadly natural disaster that triggered mudslides and flash-floods in Haiti, leaving tent cities ravaged and 10 people dead. By pure coincidence, that also happens to be the name of a fun little metaphor bearing down on the Gulf Coast. Let's count down what soon-to-be Hurricane Isaac really means

    1. It's a penis, coming to get the Republicans. "Isaac doesn't appear to be a Republican, and not only because it presents on the weather map as a throbbing purple penis surrounded by a rainbow," says Andrew Sullivan.

    Read More »


    Tags: Andrew Sullivan, Darrell Issa, Natural Disasters, Republican National Convention, Rush Limbaugh, Weather
  • Rush Limbaugh Hates Homophones

    Looks like Rush Limbaugh finally took time out of his busy poisoning the nation's brain schedule long enough to catch up on what everyone on the ol' Internet is talking about (Batman, duh)

    "Do you know the name of the villain in this movie? Bane. The villain in The Dark Knight Rises is named Bane, B-a-n-e. What is the name of the venture capital firm that Romney ran and around which there’s now this make-believe controversy? Bain. The movie has been in the works for a long time. The release date’s been known, summer 2012 for a long time. Do you think that it is accidental that the name of the really vicious fire breathing four eyed whatever-it-is villain in this movie is named Bain?…

    "You may think it’s ridiculous, I’m just telling you this is the kind of stuff the Obama team is lining up. The kind of people who would draw this comparison are the kind of people that they are campaigning to. These are the kind of people that they are attempting to appeal to."

    To Limbaugh's point, the movie has been in the works for a long time. Probably not twenty years, though, which is when Bane first made his appearance. And 23-year-old Christopher Nolan couldn't have possibly foreseen Mitt Romney's rise to power and association with Bain Capital… unless the current administration is a front for the League of Shadows, and the group "incepted" Nolan's dreams to make him put Bane in the final movie of his Dark Knight trilogy to indoctrinate us against the second term political opponent of Barack Obama (aka RA'S AL GHUL?!). There's no other possible explanation.

    But wait. Stop the presses. Bane is actually a word in the English language which means something pernicious that causes great distress, so maybe Bane is modeled after Limbaugh himself. Although this Joker looks more like the Penguin to me.

    Photo by Ron Galella/Ron Galella Collection/Getty Images

     


    Tags: Bain Capital, Batman, Mitt Romney, Rush Limbaugh
  • Rush Limbaugh on the "So-Called Victims" of Unemployment

    People are always wondering why Rush Limbaugh is continually being held up as an exemplar of human decency. Why his name is constantly being mentioned alongside such inspirational figures as Martin Luther King, Albert Schweitzer and Mahatma Gandhi. Why he has earned a place in the shared of of humanity as an example of the finest that humankind has to offer.

    It's hard to say exactly, but it might be because of quotes like this

    "The sad truth is that employment is not pivotal… No job, no employment, no pain. For a whole heck of a lot of people whose expectations for themselves are not very high… There are no jobs, and yet they’re still eating. I’m telling you, there's a new reality out there… Because it's not resulting in that much pain, not nearly as much as it used to… The so-called victims of the unemployment circumstance are not suffering as unemployed people in the past did."

    There's a special place in Heaven for men like him. I'm sure of it.

    Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images


    Tags: Rush Limbaugh, Unemployment
  • Drudge Report Has Important Rush Limbaugh/Barack Obama News!

    Somebody bust out the siren, because Matt Drudge has a hot story he's preparing to break wide open!

    Developing! What will it develop into, I wonder! Maybe it'll turn out that Rush Limbaugh says Obama really hates this country. Maybe we'll discover that Rush Limbaugh opines that Obama loathes this country! Who can tell?!

    This is history in the making, people!!!


    Tags: Barack Obama, Drudge Report, Matt Drudge, Rush Limbaugh