Latest Posts

  • Even Russia Thinks Republicans are Stuck in the '70s

    If you watched the season premiere of Mad Men on Sunday, you might be forgiven for mistaking one of its scenes of boys' club back-slapping for a GOP debate. Given their attitudes toward birth control and homosexuality, the Republicans seem to be stuck in the past.

    And it's not just Democrats who've noticed

    Russian President Dmitry Medvedev tweaked Mitt Romney for his characterization of Russia as the "No. 1 geopolitical foe" of the United States, saying the comments did not reflect the current relationship between the two countries.

    "It is very reminiscent of Hollywood and also of a certain phase in Russian-U.S. relations," Medvedev said at the end of the nuclear security summit in South Korea Tuesday…

    "My first advice is to listen to reason when they formulate their positions. Reason never harmed a presidential candidate," Medvedev said. "My other advice is to check their watches from time to time: it is 2012, not the mid-1970s."

    In post-Soviet Russia, Russia makes fun of you.

    In case Medvedev hasn't noticed, reason always harms GOP candidates. Whenever a Republican makes a reasonable statement like, "Hey, maybe we should adopt humane immigration laws," poll numbers immediately plummet.

    Sometimes, reason can even cause physical harm to a conservative. Rick Santorum has had to tie his brain into knots to explain why evolution and global warming are just a big liberal hoax.

    Tags: Dmitry Medvedev, Foreign Policy, Mitt Romney, Republicans, Russia, Vladimir Putin
  • Barack Obama Tries to Explain Yesterday's Hot Microphone Gaffe

    barack obamaRemember yesterday when Barack Obama was caught on mic telling Russian President Dmitry Medvedev that he would sell all of the U.S.'s first born sons to Soviet Russia to work in their plutonium mines (or something very similar) just as soon the election was over? Well, now he's apparently trying to spin his way out of it.

    Typical of a guy who wants to sell all of our first born sons to Soviet Russia to work in their plutonium mines, if you ask me

    President Barack Obama offered an extended explanation here Tuesday of the hot mic moment that caught him asking Russia's president for some "space" and "flexibility" until after November's election.

    "The only way I get this stuff done is If I'm consulting with the Pentagon, with Congress, if I've got bipartisan support and frankly, the current environment is not conducive to those kinds of thoughtful consultations," Obama told reporters following a meeting with the presidents of Russia and Kazakhstan. "I think the stories you guys have been writing over the last 24 hours is pretty good evidence of that."

    Nice try, Mr. President. But if this is true, who is Soviet Russia going to use to to work in their plutonium mines, huh?

    You don't have an answer for that one, do you?

    Photo by Olivier Douliery-Pool/Getty Images News/Getty Images

    Tags: Barack Obama, Dmitry Medvedev, Military, Russia
  • Obama Caught Conspiring with Russians, Discovers Microphones Exist

    Barack ObamaDo you know who I blame for this? The President's handlers. Why didn't anybody brief him on the existence of these transducers that convert sound into an electrical signals for the purpose of recording and broadcasting human vocalizations, or microphones as they're sometimes called?

    Goddamnit! This is bush-league  stuff!

    In a conversation that was picked up Monday by live microphones, President Obama privately told Russia he will have "more flexibility" to deal with missile defense after the election.

    Speaking to Russian President Dmitry Medvedev ahead of a global nuclear security summit in South Korea, Obama asked for "space" and "time" to deal with the missile defense issue…

    "This is my last election," Obama said. "After my election, I have more flexibility."

    Well, the cat's out of the bag now. The White House might as well release a statement confirming that Obama is planning on shutting down our entire missile defense system in exchange for the entire Muslim population of Eastern Europe.

    I mean, not that it wasn't kind of obvious before.

    Photo by Jim Watson/AFP/Getty Images

    Tags: Barack Obama, Dmitry Medvedev, Military, Russia
  • Republicans Love Quoting Stalin

    "American exceptionalism." It's a phrase Republicans love to throw around, especially on the campaign trail. Rick Santorum and Mitt Romney pepper their speeches with references to United States' unique national character. And Newt Gingrich even included it in the title of one of his books.

    It turns out the candidates are just quoting a big ol' Communist

    Although a superiority complex has long pervaded the national psyche, the expression "American exceptionalism" only became big a few years ago…What's more, Tocqueville didn't invent the term. Who did? Joseph Stalin.

    In the 1920s… America's radical left considered the national condition, contrasted it with Europe, and concluded leftism would be a hard sell stateside thanks to characteristics forged along the frontier. Americans were different: individualistic, profit-crazed, broadly middle class, and as tolerant of inequality as they were reverent of economic freedom…

    In 1929, Communist leader Jay Lovestone informed Stalin in Moscow that the American proletariat wasn't interested in revolution. Stalin responded by demanding that he end this "heresy of American exceptionalism." And just like that, this expression was born.


    The GOP might have to dial back their rhetoric a bit. It's hard to call the President a lefty radical who wants to spread the wealth around when you're the one quoting the world's most famous communist dictator.

    Then again, maybe voters won't notice. If Rick Santorum gets his wish and young people stop going to college, no one will even know who Stalin is. Or what big words like "exceptionalism" and "hypocrisy" mean.

    Tags: Communism, History, Republicans, Russia, Socialism
  • From the Pork Barrel: "Let's Do It Together"

    * This new Russian political ad does not shy away from the hard truths. Namely, that a vote for Vladimir Putin is a vote for casual poll sex with a hot piece of strange.

    * Non-candidate Sarah Palin is unhappy with all the attention the lamestream media's been paying to non-non-candidate-related news. Isn't there something — or someone — else to which they could be paying attention?

    * Rick Perry will most likely never win the presidency, but today he certainly wins the Internet.

    * Not to mention an exalted place in history.

    Photo by Scott Olson/Getty Images News/Getty Images

    Tags: Debates, Primaries, Republicans, Rick Perry, Russia, Sarah Palin, Sex, Vladimir Putin