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Sam Brownback
  • Praying Away the Devil in the Health Care Details

    You know what's been sadly lacking in the increasingly convoluted and confusing debate over health care reform? The ancient mythologies of fearful Bedouin tribespeople. Why is there not more of that in this discussion?

    Don't worry. Our prayers have been answered

    The Family Research Council Action PAC held an extraordinary "prayercast" event last night, praying for the intercession of God to change Senators' minds and stop the health care bill…

    "[T]he Bible's very clear that prayer affects government," said [Co-host Lou] Engle. "Esther's three-day fast changed public policy; Daniel's fast changed public policy; and it's the same, yesterday, today and forever, and that's why we're here."

    I believe that Engle is referring to how Queen Esther went around collecting prayergnatures for her prayertition to have King Ahasuerus reroute a proposed sewage line through the south side of Persia. That story always gets me.

    Sens. Jim DeMint and Sam Brownback were there (of course), as well as Reps. Todd Akin. Wild horses attempted to keep Rep. Michele Bachmann from attending the blatantly religious event, but were completely unable to do so. She was even gracious enough to lead all in an opening prayer…

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    Tags: Bill of Rights, Christianity, Constitution, House of Representatives, Jim DeMint, Michele Bachmann, Religion, Sam Brownback, Senate, The Bible, Todd Akin
  • Republicans Want More Quitters in Congress

    Every so often politicians — usually Republicans — launch a campaign for a constitutional amendment that would term-limit members of Congress, and every time they do so the proposal goes nowhere, because duh.

    It's that time of year again

    Republican senators Jim DeMint, Tom Coburn, Kay Bailey Hutchison and Sam Brownback offered such a measure on Tuesday, saying it would be good to get fresh blood on Capitol Hill.

    "Americans know real change in Washington will never happen until we end the era of permanent politicians," DeMint said.

    Absolutely, and that's why Jim DeMint has been so supportive of the fresh-faced, inexperienced newbie from Chicago who ran for president last year after serving less than a full term in the Senate… oh, that's right, no he hasn't. Well, what does it matter? Sen. DeMint's first term expires in 2011, and I'm sure he'll do the honorable thing by refusing to run again.

    Just to set a good example for others.

    Tags: Jim DeMint, Kay Bailey Hutchison, Sam Brownback, Senate, Tom Coburn
  • Sam Brownback Leads Brave Senate Committee in Battle Against Inhuman Man-Beasts

    Goddamnit! If I'd only managed to deploy my race of half-centaur/half-werewolf K Street lobbyists a little earlier, none of this would be happening

    Senate Republicans have introduced legislation to ban the creation of human-animal hybrids.

    Led by Sen. Sam Brownback (R-Kan.), 19 Republicans and 1 Democrat introduced a bill yesterday that would prevent U.S. researchers from developing embryos that use both human and animal material, a controversial practice underway in the UK…

    "What was once only science fiction is now becoming a reality, and we need to ensure that experimentation and subsequent ramifications do not outpace ethical discussion and societal decisions," Brownback said last year when he introduced similar legislation.

    Man, it's a good thing we have clear-thinking science-understanders like Sam Brownback around to really frame issues as they aren't not without even the tiniest shred of hyperbole.

    Hang on, though. Let me just get this completely clear: Can we or can we not open the door to the unethical blending of humans and animals here in the United States? And, if not, to what godless land can I travel so that I can open the door to the unethical blending of humans and animals?

    "Here in the United States, we simply cannot open the door to the unethical blending of humans and animals, which the British government seems intent on doing," [Sen. Mary Landrieu (D-La.)] said the last time she introduced similar legislation.

    Got it. U.K. Buying my ticket now. I'll be having sex with a lab-created mermaid by Sunday. Thanks for the tip.

    But do you know what I don't get? These senators act like they're all opposed to "unnatural species" and "human-animal hybrids" and stuff, and then they go and let James Inhofe be the ranking minority member of the Senate Committee on Environment and Public Works.

    Come on, Senate, make up your mind!

    (via Pharyngula, which puts the issue in much better context)

    Tags: Mary Landrieu, Sam Brownback, Science & Technology, Senate, United Kingdom
  • Catching Up With A Loser: Sam Brownback


    Join former United States Senate Pages Dylan and Ethan Ris as they bring you the dish on not just the presidential race but all the exciting triumphs and disgraces inside, outside, and below the Beltway!

    What Are They Doing Now? Most Americans, following their release from jail, will spend days or even weeks acclimating to society and reuniting with family before announcing their bid for U.S. President. But not Senator Sam Brownback (R-KS), who spent the night of December 8, 2006 in the notorious Angola, Louisiana prison, while simultaneously announcing his White House run on his web site!

    Disturbed that his neighbors in prison did not include any abortion doctors or Darwinists, Brownback made social conservatism the hallmark of his campaign. His platform promised the repeal of Roe v. Wade, the teaching of intelligent design, and free pizza for all Americans courtesy of his key backer and Domino's founder Tom Monaghan!

    Jail time aside, Brownback had a typical Washington biography. He snoozed his way through judicial confirmation hearings, accepted big bucks from Jack Abramoff, and joined an Opus Dei church after reading The Da Vinci Code. But Brownback distinguished himself in the presidential race with his willingness to spend an almost masochistic amount of time in Iowa, surviving on foraged corn and addressing rallies consisting entirely of livestock.

    Pundits expected favorable results for Brownback in Iowa's famed Ames Straw Poll, citing the state's large evangelical population and the Senator's recent endorsement from a mid-tier Baldwin Brother. But Brownback finished a disappointing third, likely due to the fact that his self-declared "one constituent," God, did not attend the straw poll, citing a prior commitment to appear in an Ohio man's pancake. To make matters worse, Brownback's second-favorite constituent, Terri Schiavo, also missed the vote.

    So with a heavy heart and an empty wallet, Brownback left the race on October 18, 2007, citing the need to spend more time with the unborn. His name has recently resurfaced as a potential Vice Presidential pick, but John McCain will need to look elsewhere, because Brownback was recently Raptured.

    Tags: Catching Up With a Loser, Congressional Confidential, John McCain, Sam Brownback, Stephen Baldwin, Terri Schiavo
  • Roll Call: Seek, and Ye Shall Find

    Tags: John McCain, Mitt Romney, Republicans, Roll Call, Rudy Giuliani, Sam Brownback