Comprehensive List of the Silliest Names in Congress [UPDATED]

1. Saxby Chambliss

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Saxby Chambliss to retire after being tricked into saying his own name backwards.

— Mike Drucker (@MikeDrucker) January 25, 2013

Anti-Gay Hate Comment Coming from Inside GOP Senator's Office?

Pro tip, bigots: Don't send your revelous hate missives from the office where you work for a U.S. Senator who just voted along with every single other member of his party to shut down debate on the potential repeal of an outdated piece of Jim Crow-esque discriminatory legislation.

Instead, why not trying waiting until you get home to your personal troll cave to do that? That way, you can masturbate with your spittle-drenched hand while hitting the Send button and it'll be less easy for people to back trace the IP address to your boss…

As some of you have probably already heard, shortly after Senate Republicans prevented a vote on repealing DADT this afternoon, a commentor identifying himself as "Jimmy" left a derogatory comment ("All fa–ots must die") on the Joe.My.God. website, a popular LGBT-focused blog.

Other commenters on the site quickly traced the IP address of the comment to a senate.gov IP address located in Atlanta, Georgia near the local offices of the state's two senators…

Early [last] evening Chambliss's office sent the following statement to several news organizations, including TPM: "We have seen the allegations and are moving quickly to understand the facts. This office has not and will not tolerate any activity of the sort alleged. Once we have ascertained whether these claims are true, we will take the appropriate steps."

Rookie mistake, guy. But, don't worry. Once you rise up through the ranks in D.C. — as you almost certainly will –  you'll learn how to focus your hatred in ways that are both more effective and less easy to denounce.

Like your boss!

Harry Reid Reopens the Slavery Debate on the Floor of the Senate

The last time this many Senators were hollering about slavery, my great-great-grandmother was liveblogging the Lincoln-Douglas debates. What the-? Don't worry, it's just Harry Reid helping the GOP's worst manufactured fears come true by comparing health care reform opposition to anti-abolitionists…

"Instead of joining us on the right side of history, all the Republicans can come up with is, 'Slow down, stop everything, let's start over,' " Reid said in a floor speech on Monday.

"If you think you've heard these same excuses before, you're right," Reid said. He continued: "When this country belatedly recognized the wrongs of slavery, there were those who dug in their heels and said, 'Slow down, it's too early, things aren't bad enough.' "

Hoo boy. Co-captaining the Outraged Response Squad is good ol' Saxby Chambliss of Georgia…

"Folks tend to crack under pressure," Chambliss said at a press conference with Sens. John Thune (R-S.D.) and John Cornyn (R-Texas). "It is an indication of desperation."

Chambliss is correct, of course, because if Harry Reid had been thinking clearly he would've made the more accurate comparison: health care reform is like being held captive in a Soviet gulag, not on a Southern plantation. Take a nap and get it right next time, Harry!

Senators Trying to Get Barack Obama to Buy Some Badass Jets

This, to me, seems like a very reasonable request for the new president…

Senators are pressing President-elect Obama to allow the Air Force to continue buying F-22 Raptor fighter jets…

A group of 44 senators — 25 Democrats and 19 Republicans — sent Obama a letter with the request. Sen. Saxby Chambliss (R-Ga.), a defense authorizer who represents a state where Lockheed Martin builds the fighter plane, and Sen. Patty Murray (D-Wash.), a defense appropriator whose state is home to Boeing’s operations, headlined the letter.

Hey, senators! Take my word on it. It's not gonna work. Trust me.

I am constantly trying to get people to buy F-22 Raptor fighter jets, but they always end up going for something "more reasonable." Like a Kia or somthing.

People are so fucking boring.