Saxby Chambliss, Conservative Values Win "First Election of 2010" Nearly Two Years Early

With only 23 months to go before the vast majority of votes of the vast majority the midterm elections will be counted, Republican Georgia Senator Saxby Chambliss has declared himself the very first victor of 2010, after beating his Democratic opponent, Jim Martin, in the 2008 runoff election for Georgia's senate seat.

Garnering 57.5% of the two million Georganians who bothered to vote, incumbent Sen. Saxby Chambliss — according to incumbent Sen. Saxby Chambliss — represents the return to conservative values that America has so craved since the crushing defeat of conservative values one month ago…

"You have delivered tonight a strong message to the world that conservative Georgia values matter [in the state of Georgia]," he said.

"You have delivered a message that a balance of government in Washington is necessary, and that's not only what [2.9 percent of] the people of Georgia want but what [0.02 percent of] the people of America want."

You can't argue with numbers like that. Today truly is a great day for the conservative movement.

But why exactly did such an overwhelming fraction of the people of America reject the failed policies of the not-yet-inaugurated Obama administration?

"If you can't have a little back-and-forth arguing between the parties, then the party in power will make mistakes," said Ron Zukowski, a computer expert in Atlanta who voted for Mr. Chambliss. "This was my chance to say no, and I said no."

Luckily, now, thanks to Mr. Zukowski's "Power of No," the American people will be spared of four years of a government that makes any mistakes.

Welcome to the Golden Age.

Tags: Election Day, Georgia, Jim Martin, Saxby Chambliss, Senate

Jon Stewart Reviews Georgia's Eternal Election

Jon weighs in on the Senate run-off race with Saxby Chambliss and Jim Martin, including Chambliss' granddaughter grope and three rappers Martin has never heard of.

"I am Jim Martin, and I'm sure I'm going to lose."

Update: I am not Jim Martin, and I am sure that he did lose.

Saxby Chambliss explains how this all-but-inevitable win for the GOP proves that America is already tired of Change and is tipping back toward social conservatotalitarianism.

Tags: Election Day, Georgia, Jim Martin, Jon Stewart, Saxby Chambliss, Senate, The Daily Show

From the Pork Barrel: Georgia Not on My Mind

* Saxby Chambliss and other guy somehow failing to capture voters' excitement.

* Fox News asks the question everyone else is afraid to ask: Can Sarah Palin still win this election for John McCain?

* Al Franken now poised to lose by even slimmer margin.

* George Bush refuses to set timetable for withdrawal from your crotch.

* White House Christmas tree weighs in, calls for Bush impeachment.

* Oh, wait. Nevermind.

Tags: Al Franken, Christmas, Election Day, Fox, George W. Bush, Georgia, Jim Martin, John McCain, Norm Coleman, Pork Barrel, Sarah Palin, Saxby Chambliss, Senate, White House

Show Me on the Doll Where Saxby Chambliss Touched You

Have you seen this Thanksgiving campaign ad from Saxby Chambliss where he steals second base from his tween granddaughter?

You might think Chambliss's Senate challenger Jim Martin would be wise to pounce on this and insinuate the Georgia Republican is a child molester, but that would be classless. It would just lower the discourse.

No, Martin should take the high road here and just cut some ads associating Chambliss with Osama bin Laden and Saddam Hussein.

Tags: Georgia, Saxby Chambliss, Video

WINNER Caption Challenge: John McCain for Saxby Chambliss

Submitted by bloojax.

Thanks to everyone who contributed a caption.

We'll have a very special Thanksgiving challenge up shortly.

Tags: Caption Challenge, John McCain, Saxby Chambliss