Link Drawn Between Chrysler Ad and Obama's Plan for World Domination

Conservatives — who are apparently planning to unseat the Democratic president on a platform of staunch opposition to economic recovery — were understandably peeved when patron saint of libertarianism Clint Eastwood lent his familiar voice and weathered face to a Chrysler commercial that was inexplicably pro-auto bailout, and featured a non-dystopian outlook for the future of America.

I know! Communism! (Look, we can get into the abject insanity of a car company being grateful and positive about the U.S. government saving it from bankruptcy in another post. There's just so many unanswered questions!) Obviously, now, the die is cast. This commercial alone will win the general election for Obama, and abortions will become federally-mandated for all!

Anyway, some hawk-eyed investigative journalist at The Hollywood Reporter seems to have cracked the case how such an outrage could have befallen America. Turns out some of the people who worked on the ad also happen to be people who supported Obama in 2008. Scandal of the highest order!

In the days ahead, similar politically charged queries also are likely to be raised about the highly regarded Portland Oregon-based ad agency that produced the spot — Wieden+Kennedy, some of whose key creative professionals privately supported Barack Obama in the 2008 election…

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Tags: Advertising, Auto Industry, Clint Eastwood, Scandalgate

Jon Stewart Bids Farewell to the Herman Cain Campaign

The fact that Herman Cain quoted the ending credits song from the Pokemon movie in his goodbye speech to supporters kind of puts his whole campaign in a new light for me. Maybe it wasn't quite as silly as I'd always imagined it.

The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11/10c.

Tags: Herman Cain, Jon Stewart, Movies, Newt Gingrich, Primaries, Republicans, Scandalgate, Sex, The Daily Show, Video

Stephen Colbert Defends Herman Cain

Seriously, Herman Cain. If your plan was to sexually harass every woman you encountered, you could've at least thrown Arizona state senator Lori Klein a… uh, you know… thing that's left over when you're done cutting the meat off?

The Colbert Report airs Monday through Thursday at 11:30/10:30c.

Tags: Arizona, Herman Cain, Scandalgate, State Legislature, Stephen Colbert, The Colbert Report, Video

From the Pork Barrel: Rick Perry on Rick Perry

* Rick Perry is jumping on the make fun of Rick Perry bandwagon. Unfortunately, just after everyone else is forgetting that Rick Perry is a person who exists.

* Sen. Chuck Schumer takes a joke about as well you you might guess Sen. Chuck Schumer might.

* Republicans are learning the proper way to address the Occupy Wall Street movement. Surprisingly, growling "Go get a job after you take a bath" hardly factors in at all.

* Newt Gingrich is continuing to amass support for his army of of poverty-stricken underage custodians. You won't be laughing when their little fingers start clawing their way up from the bathroom sink.

* Turns out the Ginger White thing was such an non-infidelity that Herman Cain didn't even bother telling his wife about her. Your move, vast conspiracy trying to take Cain down.

* Glenn Beck narrowly escaped an encounter with a real life genuine Muslim person yesterday. Our thoughts and prayers are with him and his family in this difficult time.

Tags: Chuck Schumer, Ginger White, Glenn Beck, Herman Cain, Islam, Newt Gingrich, Occupy Wall Street, Polls, Pork Barrel, Primaries, Republicans, Rick Perry, Scandalgate, Senate, Sex

Herman Cain, Bless His Heart, Isn't Going Anywhere

It sure has been a tough couple days. I was walking around, going about my business as best I could, but there always a nagging dysphoria in the back of my head. I'd take a moment to try and think about where that sadness was coming from, and then it would hit me right in my gut all over again: Herman Cain is reassessing his candidacy.

It's hard to believe that somebody whom I had never even heard of a few short months ago could suddenly become such an integral part of my life. I honestly cannot imagine the despair of a Herman Cain-less existence at this point. And if Cain's behavior in Dayton, Ohio are of any indication, it looks like I might not have to worry about that for a good long while…

[N]othing in Mr. Cain's actions on Wednesday suggested that he would halt his campaign as he engaged in a whirlwind day of campaigning around Ohio and in New Hampshire.

"They want you to believe that we can't do this," he told a few hundred supporters gathered in a hotel ballroom in Dayton on Wednesday morning. "They want you to believe that with enough character assassination on me, I will drop out!"

The audience shouted, "No!" and "Don't go!"

Mr. Cain seemed delighted. "Well, the American people have a different idea," he said. "The American people are going to raise some Cain in 2012!"

Oh, it's like delicious mass-produced pizza for my soul. It even came with a brand new Cain-ism topping: "Stupid people are ruining America."

We know, Herman Cain! Oh how we know! In fact, we're counting on it!

Photo by Bill Pugliano/Getty Images News/Getty Images

Tags: Ginger White, Herman Cain, Primaries, Republicans, Scandalgate, Sex