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Scott Roeder
  • Scott Roeder Convicted of First Degree Murder

    Good news out of Kansas today: Scott Roeder — abortion activist, religious zealot, terrorist, murderer — is going to jail forever just like he should

    Reporting from Wichita, Kan. – In a trial that never became the referendum on abortion that some abortion foes wanted, Scott Roeder, a 51-year-old airport shuttle driver, was convicted today of murdering George Tiller, one the nation's few physicians who performed late-term abortions.

    The jury of seven men and five women deliberated for only 37 minutes. Roeder faces life in prison after being convicted of first-degree murder.

    Only 37 minutes? I think that's a typo. That sentence should probably read "The jury of seven men and five women deliberated for a whole 37 minutes, which seems like way way too much time." That makes more sense.

    Don't get me wrong, unlike Liz Cheney, I believe that people accused of crimes have rights and should not just be thrown into jail like this is medieval Europe or some shit. But, c'mon, 37 minutes seems like an excessive amount of time for this decision.

    What probably happened is that they deliberated for 7 minutes and then watched an episode of 30 Rock, because that show has been really killing it lately. Do you think Jack and Nancy will ever get together for real? I really want to, but I don't. But, who knows, maybe I'm wrong.

    Anyway, Scott Roeder. Looks like that guy's gonna rot in jail. Good.

    Tags: Abortion, Christianity, George Tiller, Kansas, Religion, Scott Roeder, Terrorism
  • When Will Barack Obama Take Responsibility for Recents Acts of Terrorism?

    The other day I falsely reported that the person most responsible for recent acts of extreme right-wing terrorism is Charles Darwin. That was a regrettable mistake, and I apologize for my shoddy journalism.

    Obviously, the person responsible is Barack Obama, as anti-abortion activist Randall Terry was kind enough to point out

    In response to a follow up question from The Washington Independent's Dave Weigel about the correlation between violent right wing extremism and Democratic administrations, Terry recalled a quote, which he believed to have originated with either Robert or John F. Kennedy:

    "When you make peaceful protest impossible, you make violent protest inevitable," adding, "I can promise you this — there is visceral contempt for this administration," in the pro-life community.

    Terry also predicted that all the jackals who write for the Internet — like me — would use all of our powers of obfuscations to somehow draw a link between a guy who murdered a doctor and a guy who murdered a security guard…

    "Let me preempt all the bloggers in the world, OK. Here's where the bloggers are going to head… The white supremacists and the pro-lifers really are terrorists. Just like that paper from Homeland Security said. They're going to try to lump pro-lifers with this lunatic man who walked in and killed this fine security guard… The bloggers are gonna make–trust me — I'll bet my last dollar. I'll give you a thousand-to-one odds on a dollar bet.

    Obviously, those two incidents were completely different. One is an example of a killing in the name of a strongly-held belief that runs in opposition to the law, and the other is a killing in the name of something Randall Terry believes.

    Apples and oranges.

    Tags: Abortion, James von Brunn, Racism, Randall Terry, Scott Roeder, Terrorism
  • Dick Cheney Was Right!

    Hey, remember back in February when Dick Cheney predicted a wave of terrorist attacks being carried out during an Obama administration?

    Well, how about that? It looks like he was right.

    Only, they're a lot less Muslimy than he was probably thinking.

    Tags: Dick Cheney, James von Brunn, Racism, Scott Roeder, Terrorism
  • George Tiller's Clinic Closing Its Doors Forever

    Hey, crazy people in the world. Here's a lesson for you: If you work hard enough, harass people with whom you disagree persistently enough, allow blind hatred to become the driving force of your life enough, and get at least one of your buddies to murder people enough, then all of your dreams can come true

    The Wichita abortion clinic run by a doctor who was shot and killed will remain closed permanently, his family said on Tuesday.

    Dr. George R. Tiller’s clinic was one of the few in the country to provide abortions to women late in their pregnancies, and for decades, women had traveled there from all over the nation and from overseas. It was also the only remaining abortion clinic, even for first trimester abortions, in the Wichita region.

    It's so heart-warming to see American fundamentalist terrorist organizations really taking to heart all the things they've learned from their counterparts in the Middle East.

    Tags: Abortion, al Qaeda, Christianity, George Tiller, Islam, Kansas, Religion, Scott Roeder, Taliban
  • Anti-Abortion Protesters at Loss for Whom Next to Drive into the Grave

    It's so bittersweet. You work tirelessly for years and years and years in pursuit of a single goal, and then when you finally achieve it, you face a really odd situation. You're super proud for having realized your goal, but you're also kind of adrift, purposeless.

    That's pretty much what the anti-abortion protesters in Kansas must be experiencing right now…

    For the first time in years, only a Wichita police car has been waiting outside the abortion clinic of Dr. George R. Tiller, who was shot to death a week ago. Gone are the trucks bearing enormous images of bloody fetuses, the signs offering the home addresses of clinic workers, the crowd of protesters yelling to women as they enter…

    Over almost 20 years, a vocal, diverse constellation of anti-abortion forces has grown up in this conservative city with an intensity rarely seen elsewhere, converging around Dr. Tiller’s practice. With his death, its future suddenly seems uncertain, too.

    "I don't know what the future holds," said Troy Newman, the president of Operation Rescue, one of the most well-known anti-abortion organizations. Seven years ago, Mr. Newman moved his organization's national headquarters, its leaders and his family from Southern California to Wichita to focus a national spotlight on Dr. Tiller, whom he described as "the flagship" of the country's abortion business.

    "I think it's too early to say what comes next," he said.

    Yeah, who can really say what comes next? Will they find another abortion doctor to harrass continuously? And will they ultimately murder that doctor or perhaps just torture him until he can't remember his name? Will they just begin randomly snipering women as they walk out of planned parenthood facilities?

    Or maybe — just maybe — they'll pray so hard and so seriously that they'll be able to coax Jesus down from His Kingdom in Heaven, and he'll pull out his semi-automatic and lead the charge against the agents of evil, the godless and the everyone else who contributed money to Democratic campaigns.

    It's just too early to say what comes next.

    Tags: Abortion, Christianity, George Tiller, Kansas, Religion, Scott Roeder