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Secret Service
  • Ted Nugent Declares Self "a Black Jew at a Nazi-Klan Rally"

    Ted Nugent — rising jester in the Republican court — has responded to Democrats, Secret Service agents, people who understand what words mean and anyone else who thought his remark "If Barack Obama becomes the president in November, again, I will be either be dead or in jail by this time next year," might have carried with it a whiff of violent threat

    "I spoke at the NRA and I will stand by my speech. It was 100 percent positive," Nugent told the Dana Loesch radio show today… "See, I'm a black Jew at a Nazi-Klan rally, and there are some power-abusing corrupt monsters in our federal government that despise me because I have the audacity to speak the truth to identify the violations of our government, particularly Eric Holder and the president and Tim Geithner, ad nauseum," Nugent told Loesch.

    "I have never in my life threatened anyone's life. I'm incapable of threatening anyone’s life. Because I'm about positive change, my entire speech, all my articles," he later added.

    In response, five-years-ago Ted Nugent said

    "Obama,  you might want to suck [gun] on this, ya punk! Obama, he's a piece of shit. I told him to suck on my machine gun. Hey, Hillary! You might want to ride one of these [gun] into the sunset."


    Photo by Mick Hutson/Redferns/Getty Images

    Tags: Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, Secret Service, Ted Nugent
  • Secret Service Investigating Ted Nugent Over Nugent-esque Remarks

    Yesterday, when I first saw these thinly-veiled threatening comments that Ted Nugent at the recent NRA convention, I was, like, "Oh, Ted Nugent, you're so Ted Nugent-y. Good thing for you that nobody pays you any more mind than they do their uncle about whom their not supposed to talk about outside of family gatherings"…

    "If Barack Obama becomes the president in November, again, I will be either be dead or in jail by this time next year."

    Okay, granted. Publicly promising violent retribution against the head of state is a serious matter. But Ted Nugent is such an unserious person. Can't we just say those two things even themselves and say we're back to naught?

    Apparently not

    A spokesman for the Secret Service tells us, "We are aware of it, and we'll conduct an appropriate follow up."

    Even so, I doubt that anything is actually going to come of this. Do you really think the the U.S. Secret Service has a genuine concern that Nugent will actually do something of note in this day and age?

    Seems to me much more likely that they're just in it for the "Wango Tango."

    Tags: Barack Obama, Crime, Secret Service, Ted Nugent
  • The Daily Show on Colombian Prostitutes and Stay-at-Home Moms

    Just think of how great this Secret Service sex scandal could have been if only the prostitute had been a stay-at-home girl instead of a working girl…

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    Coverage continues after the jump.

    The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11/10c.

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    Tags: Ann Romney, Barack Obama, Colombia, Fox News, Hilary Rosen, Jon Stewart, Men and Women, Mitt Romney, Prostitution, Secret Service, Sex, The Daily Show, Video, Women's Rights
  • Tweet Untweet: Secret Services

    Tags: Barack Obama, Colombia, Prostitution, Secret Service, Tweet Untweet, Twitter
  • U.S. Agents Reprimanded for Overly Didactic Symbolism in Colombia

    Don't you hate it when you're watching a movie and then something that could have been this really nice subtly poignant moment of allegory is blown to shit because the director decides that you're not smart enough to figure it out on your own and pushes the symbolism to the point where it's impossible not to realize that you're witnessing "art" or some shit like that. I get it, Antononi, he's mourning his lost youth. I'm not an idiot.

    What's even more annoying is when it happens in real life

    The sixth Summit of the Americas that concluded yesterday in the Caribbean city of Cartagena was supposed to focus on trade in the Western Hemisphere. Instead, 11 U.S. Secret Service agents became the center of attention after they were sent home for allegations of misconduct involving a prostitute…

    The incident came to light when a Cartagena prostitute refused to leave the hotel room occupied by a Secret Service agent until she was paid, said U.S. Representative Peter King, who heads the House Homeland Security Committee.

    The 11 agents, part of an advance security team that arrived before Obama, had brought women to their hotel blocks away from where the president stayed this weekend, said King. All have since been placed on administrative leave.

    Okay, so, U.S. agents go down to South America for a trade summit and end up hiring a hooker and then refusing to pay her for her services afterward. Really, U.S. Secret Service? That was the best bit of dénouement you could come up with?

    President Obama said that there's currently an investigation going on into the agents' actions, which he expects to be "thorough" and "rigorous." Good! Because this is simply unacceptable! Hopefully, these agents won't just be let off with the customary slap on the wrist and will face some actual punishment for behavior. Like maybe some firings.

    And definitely some drama writing refresher courses.

    Tags: Colombia, Prostitution, Secret Service, Sex