John Kerry Is Boring in Every Language

Secretary of State John "Human Ambien" Kerry's facility with French is well-known, even if he keeps his cunning linguistics hidden when he's on American soil.

But did you know he spoke German?

Kerry: [in German] Very good, thank you. All is well. Your shoes are fantastic, yes? [...] No, no, I can only speak a little German. But I would say, it is wonderful to be back herein Berlin. Thank you. And now I will speak in English because it's easier. [end of German]

And Italian?

Kerry thanked Prime Minister Mario Monti in Italian for his "spirit of friendship."

And Norwegian!?

[Kerry] won praise from his Norwegian counterpart Espen Barth Eide, who said after talks at the State Department that Kerry "can even speak quite impressively Norwegian phrases."

Eide added, "Secretary Kerry made a very good poi– Zzzzzzzzzzzz…"

Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images News/Getty Images

Tweet Untweet: International Women's Day Fashion

Now that Hillary Clinton is out of office, it's like the @huffingtonpost doesn't even care what the Secretary of State wears anymore.

— Evan J'daté Kessler(@EvanJKessler) March 7, 2013

John Kerry Invents a New Country [VIDEO]

With Hillary Clinton racking up a record number of frequent-flyer miles during her stint as Secretary of State, there's almost no way for John Kerry to visit more countries than she did. Unless he invents some new ones! Perhaps his first destination will be "Kyrzakhstan," a country Kerry invented while thanking U.S. diplomats for their work in -stan-ridden Central Asia.

Some things you may not know about Kyrzakhstan:

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Friday Links: Until We Meet Again, Hillary

* The New Yorker discusses Clinton's legacy.

* American Voices ponder her last day at work.

* For some, Hillary Clinton is that kind of friend.

* At least she'll never have to be First Lady again.

* Nicolas Cage's hair has never looked so good.

* There are so many Hillary Clinton crafts on Etsy.

* Clinton is the kind of woman you want to have a beer with.

* The way she holds her own. The way she danced till 3.

* The way she changed our lives. We'll see her again in 2016.

Tags: Barack Obama, Daily Links, Hillary Clinton, Secretary of State, The New Yorker, The Onion

Tweet Untweet: Hillary's Super Bowl

Hillary Clinton said she was proud to be Secretary of State. Sure, like how NFL players are just proud to watch the Super Bowl.

— Michelle Wolf (@michelleisawolf) February 1, 2013