Vulture-Like Ideologues Circling Supreme Court Justices

Did you know that about a third of the current Supreme Court Justices are, like, really old? It's true. Three of them are going to turn 80 during the next presidential term. That means they're gonna die soon.

Which, obviously, is great news for somebody or other, depending upon who wins the general election in November…

The next president, whether it's Obama or a Republican, also has a reasonable shot at transforming the majority on the Supreme Court, because three justices representing the closely divided court's liberal and conservative wings, as well as its center, will turn 80 before the next presidential term ends.

The three justices are Ruth Bader Ginsburg, the leader of the court's liberal wing, conservative Antonin Scalia, and Anthony Kennedy, who leans conservative but on some issues provides a decisive vote for the liberals.

The next high court opening would cause a titanic confirmation fight if it would allow a Republican president to cement conservative control of the court by replacing Ginsburg or if Obama could give Democratic appointees a working majority for the first time in decades by replacing Scalia or Kennedy.

Obviously, it's a bit gauche to openly root for either the death or infirmament of a human being. That said, this narrow and extreme ideology is not going to push itself onto largely unwilling populace of the nation.

So, come on, Grim Reaper. Snap to it!

(via Think Progress)

Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images News/Getty Images

Tags: Anthony Kennedy, Antonin Scalia, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Senior Citizens, Supreme Court

Newt Gingrich Is Trying to Seduce Your Jewish Grandmother

After sucking up to the Bubbas of South Carolina, it's now time for the candidates to pander to the Bubbes of Florida. As anyone who remembers the 2000 election knows, old Jews hold the key to victory in the Sunshine State.

And apparently, Newt Gingrich knows exactly where his challah bread is buttered…

At his first rally of the morning, Newt Gingrich rolled out a new attack line: Mitt Romney took kosher food away from elderly Jewish people.

"He eliminated serving kosher food for elderly Jewish residents under Medicare," Gingrich said. "I did not know this; it just came out yesterday.  The more we dig in, I understand why George Soros in Europe yesterday said it makes no difference if it's Romney or Obama, we can live with either one."

Newt Gingrich may be great at wooing congressional staffers, but he's a total pro at seducing Miami retirees. He knows the only way to a Jewish grandparent's heart is through their stomach and heart medication.

Though it is kind of surprising that observant Jews would go near the candidate considering their strong aversion to pork products. Newt sure knows a lot about keeping kosher for a guy who resembles a Christmas ham.

Photo by Andrew Burton/Getty Images News/Getty Images

Tags: Florida, Jewish, Medicare, Newt Gingrich, Primaries, Republicans, Senior Citizens

From the Pork Barrel: Newt Moon Rising

* Newt Gingrich promises a U.S. moon base by the end of his second term. Can't decide the funniest part of that sentence.

* Florida Republicans seem to be having trouble deciding between the lesser of two lessers.

* Nancy Pelosi's office says Nancy Pelosi is full of shit. Good! We're all in agreement.

* Barack Obama's SOTU address was written at an 8th grade reading level and appealed to 91 percent of viewers. That right there says everything you need to know about America.

* A lot of people think that Tennessee Tea Party demands to ban truths concerning slavery from school history text books is an overt attempt to whitewash the lives of the Founding Fathers. I disagree. I think they're just trying to get rid of all mention of black people.

* A new study disproves the common belief that people get more conservative as they age. On the contrary, I just think society gets more liberal as people get smarter.

Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images News/Getty Images

Tags: Barack Obama, Conservatives, Education, Florida, Founding Fathers, Mitt Romney, Nancy Pelosi, Newt Gingrich, Pork Barrel, Primaries, Racism, Republicans, Senior Citizens, Slavery, State of the Union, Tea Party, Tennessee

Stephen Colbert on Santorum & Old People's Right to Say Whatever

Hey, they're called the Greatest Generation. Not the Most Salient Generation.

The Colbert Report airs Monday through Thursday at 11:30/10:30c.

Tags: Babies, Barack Obama, Florida, Islam, Primaries, Religion, Republicans, Rick Santorum, Senior Citizens, Stephen Colbert, The Colbert Report, Video

Ron Paul Fans Plot to Annoy the Elderly with "Operation Grandma"

It was only a matter of time. Ron Paul's army of supporters/internet trolls have finally crawled out from underneath their Reddit pillow forts to take part in a mission greater than themselves that doesn't involve leaving vaguely threatening all-caps comments.

Commence Operation Grandma…

It's like 2008's The Great Schelp, in which comedian Sarah Silverman urged young liberals to talk to Bubbie about scary African Muslim Barack Obama, but much more annoying. Libertarian author Tom Woods wants Ron Paul fanatics to stop pestering celebrities on Twitter and start pestering their own grandparents to join the Ron Paul Revolution.

Sure, Paul's ultra-libertarian policies would destroy much of the social safety net that keeps elderly men and women out of poverty. But he's a doctor. Grandma always wanted you to be with a doctor.

Tags: Florida, Libertarian, Medicare, Primaries, Republicans, Ron Paul, Senior Citizens, Social Security