Latest Posts

  • Tworld News: Week of October 4, 2010

    Tweeting the news– the environmentally sustainable way to stay in the know and not kill polar bears.

    What did one Nazi say to the other? If you know the punchline that means you're a Nazi.

    Between the technological efforts involved in the BP spill and now the machine being used to save the Chilean miners, it's shaping up to be a good year for semi-truthful, probably-horrible films directed by Michael Bay.

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    Tags: Chile, China, Christine O’Donnell, DADT, Facebook, LGBT, Music, Nazis, Rahm Emanuel, Rick Sanchez, Serbia, Stephen Colbert, Twitter
  • World Cup Fever: Catch It (But Not with Your Hands)!

    Have you people heard that there's a World Cup going on? Seems like every time you turn around there's some kind of World Cup happening, doesn't it? Well, this one is for Soccer, or — as the rest of the world calls it — Non-American Football.

    Naturally, as Americans, we here at the Indecision blog are super amped for this not-at-all-tedious tournament. And we'll help you get amped in equal parts by filling you in on all the important games that you should be paying attention to. But first, here's everything you need to know about Soccer…

    * No player may touch the ball with his hands ever. Except for the goalie. And everybody else on the team under certain circumstances. The breaking of this rule is punishable by death.

    * The less scoring that occurs in a game, the more exciting it is!

    * The Ancient Greeks and Romans are known to have played many ball games, some of which involved the use of the feet. The Roman game harpastum is believed to have been adapted from a Greek team game known as "ἐπίσκυρος" (episkyros)[5][6] or "φαινίνδα" (phaininda),[7] which is mentioned by a Greek playwright, Antiphanes (388–311 BC) and later referred to by the Christian theologian Clement of Alexandria (c.150-c.215 AD).

    * You totally do not want to accidentally forget to wear your cup when being forced by your parents to play soccer back in grade school. Because, ugh, that pain is profound and life altering.

    Now that you know everything you need to know about soccer, here's a rundown of this weekend's biggest, most important games to watch for…

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    Tags: Algeria, Denmark, Germany, Italy, New Zealand, Serbia, Soccer, Sports, United Kingdom
  • Indecision Internationale: Way to Spangle Your Banner, Kosovo!

    On Sunday millions of ethnic Albanians declared February 17 a chillier, less bbq-friendly version of the Fourth of July as the disputed province of Kosovo announced its independence from Serbia. Kosovo, which has been described as "war-torn" since, oh, the Ottoman Empire or thereabouts, celebrated its admission to the wonderful world of independent democracy with beer, cake, a chic yellow-starred flag and the eloquent news headline "Fuck U." (Freedom of the press! Aww, they're learning already.)

    Of course Serbia and Russia had to be downers, telling the United Nations to get in there and de-independentify things asap. But President Bush led the rest of the world in congratulating the new nation, writing an official letter of recognition to President Fatmir Sejdiu…

    In your request to establish diplomatic relations with the United States, you expressed Kosovo's desire to attain the highest standards of democracy and freedom. I fully welcome this sentiment. In particular, I support your embrace of multi-ethnicity as a principle of good governance and your commitment to developing accountable institutions in which all citizens are equal under the law.

    So have fun with that, Kosovars. If you need us, we'll just be over here building fences along our borders and making sure the gays don't get married.

    Tags: Indecision Internationale, Kosovo, Serbia