Silvio Berlusconi Gets Four Years for Regular Rich Guy Behavior

I was not even aware that courts were allowed to find billionaire politicians guilty of stuff. Isn't that against The Four Seasons Hotel des Bergues Geneva Penthouse Suite Code?

Former Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi was sentenced to four years in jail on Friday for tax fraud in connection with the purchase of broadcasting rights by his Mediaset television company.

The 76-year-old billionaire, who was convicted three times during the 1990s in the first degree before being cleared by higher courts, has the right to appeal the ruling two more times before the sentence becomes definitive. He will not be jailed unless he loses the final appeal.

Kind of ironic that the insanely rich Silvio Berlusconi has been sentenced to four years in the big house for not wanting to pay any taxes just as it's looking like the insanely rich Mitt Romney might get sentenced to four years in the White House for not wanting to pay any taxes. Tough days for plutocrats, huh?

I wouldn't worry too much. Seems very doubtful that either guy will serve a day.

Photo by Filippo Monteforte/AFP/Getty Images

Tags: Crime, Italy, Mitt Romney, Money, Silvio Berlusconi, Taxes

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Tags: Herman Cain, Silvio Berlusconi, Tweet Untweet, Twitter

Berlusconi to Face Very Sexy Trial

Italy's #1 boyfriend, Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi, has fallen victim yet again to the evil haterati! These Italian officials, who seem to have forgotten that they live in the naughtiest country on Earth, insist on forcing our dashing hero to stand trial on some silly trumped-up charge…

An Italian judge has ordered Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi to stand trial in April on a charge that he paid an underage girl for sex, though there seemed no immediate risk the scandal would force him from office… Berlusconi has denied doing anything illegal in the case and says he has been targeted by politically motivated judges backed by the left who are determined to bring him down.

And surely he has a perfectly sensible reason for having called the cops to intervene on then-17-year-old Karima "Ruby" el Mahroug's behalf when she later got popped for shoplifting…

He says he has never paid for sex and says that when he telephoned the Milan police station it was because he believed el Mahroug to be the granddaughter of Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak and he wanted to avoid a diplomatic incident.

Thank God Silvio Berlusconi — who is obviously telling the complete truth — called the Milan police station to intervene! Otherwise, Hosni Mubarak would really be fucked. Instead, he's doing just fine and… Oh, wait.

Maybe Silvio and Hosni ought to book a one-way ticket to the same distant resort island, where they can peacefully have crazy sex parties/wield complete and brutal authority over everything.

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Note from Dennis: Check out Sara discussing Valentine's Day, Joe Biden, Justin Bieber and the birthers on Russian Television.

Tags: Hosni Mubarak, Italy, Prostitution, Sex, Silvio Berlusconi

Evil Anti-Hooker Forces Persecute Berlusconi

Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi of Italy is easily the best EU leader to invite to a party. Unlike Sarkozy, who would just spend all his time talking about sex with his hot wife (booooo-ring), Berlusconi would show up with a nice Montepulciano and proceed to regale you with tales of hot group sex parties with PROFESSIONAL SEX LADIES! You know, allegedly. And now he's under investigation for these alleged activities, just because some of them allegedly took place with a teenage hooker.

Oh, and he allegedly used all his fancy connections to get her out of jail when she got popped for stealing…

Silvio Berlusconi has been formally placed under investigation on suspicion of paying for sex with a 17-year old girl, according to a statement issued today by prosecutors in Milan.

He was further accused of abusing his position as Italy's prime minister by bringing pressure to bear on the police to cover up his alleged relationship with the girl, who was working as a prostitute. The two alleged offences carry sentences totalling 15 years in jail.

This particular report comes to us via the Guardian, a British paper that is full of silly British spellings and is therefore entirely untrustworthy. Let's consult a source from some other country to see if this isn't all just a giant limey lie. Tell us what's up, MSNBC and the Associated Press…

The girl said in newspaper interviews that she had been at the premier's villa and that she lied about being over 18. She denied having sex with the premier.

The girl has in the meantime turned 18.

So, she was at his villa. So freakin' what? She was probably just there to tell him about the concerns of young, sexy teenage ladies. And even she says they didn't bonk. Plus, she's totally legal now. In conclusion, Silvio Berlusconi is a saint and a role model and should be beatified just like John Paul II.

Tags: Crime, Italy, Nicolas Sarkozy, Sex, Silvio Berlusconi

The 2011 Biggest Douchebag Awards – The Nominees

Every year, starting about five minutes ago, we at Indecision choose a handful of lucky nominees for a handful of categories to be in the running for the very prestigious Biggest Douchebag Awards.

This year, we are lucky to find ourselves being sponsored by Denis Leary's brand new, soon-to-drop Comedy Central special Douchebags & Donuts, which coincidentally has the word "douchebags" in its title. Synchronicity!

Here are the nominees. You choose the winners!

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The Biggest Douchebag in the Republican Party

More nominees after the jump.

Denis Leary's Douchebags & Donuts premiers on Comedy Central Sunday, January 16 at 10pm / 9c.

Read More »

Tags: Ben Nelson, Bill Maher, Eric Cantor, Glenn Beck, Harry Reid, Hugo Chavez, Iran, Italy, James Carville, Joe Barton, John Edwards, John McCain, Juan Williams, Karl Rove, Keith Olbermann, Kim Jong Il, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Michael Moore, Michele Bachmann, Michelle Malkin, North Korea, Pat Robertson, Rahm Emanuel, Rod Blagojevich, Rush Limbaugh, Sarah Palin, Silvio Berlusconi, Venezuela, Zimbabwe